launch list

Today is the launch of WHERE SHE WENT! Am I excited? Hells, yeah! Am I spending the day primping at  dayspa in advance of tonight's event…..If you're quiet, you can hear the sound of laughter echoing through my apartment.

Here is today's schedule. I have to write it down, so I may as well do it here:

6:30 a.m. Wake up. Try that foul oil-pulling ayurvedic technique my friend Isabel swears by to kick out the last of my cold, consisting of swishing sesame oil around in my mouth for 15 minutes. Do it wrong. Nearly choke on sesame oil.

7. Wake girls. Let Willa borrow my pink tights. Dress and feed Denbele. Refuse to wipe Willa's butt. She's six. Nick ruins my resolve by doing it for her.

7:40 Turn on Elmo.

8:15 Walk Denbele to school. Go to bank to get quarters for tonight (25 cents per swear word at the reading for kids under 10). Go for a run. Come home.

9:30. WASH HAIR—I don't even want to tell you how dirty it is. But it got so dirty I figured at this point, might as well have it shiny clean for tonight.

10:30: Drive to Manhattan to pick up cupcakes from Sugar Sweet Sunshine. Sure, I could've ordered from a Brooklyn bakery, but SSW's cakes are the best and I want to feed my readers the best.

11:30. Attempt to find vegan cupcakes for the two known vegans in attendance.

12:30 Manicure pedicure? It's the fantasy plan. We'll see how it pans out.

2 p.m. Therapy. Please. I'm a New Yorker. And have you read my books? I have demons!

3  Get Denbele from school.

3:30 Freeze at bus stop while we wait for Willa. We have been doing this for month. I eagerly look forward to sweltering at the bus stop.

3:45-4:30: Playground!!!!!

4:30-6. Home. Willa and I will primp.

6 p.m. Sitter arrives. Nick arrives.

6:15  Depart for Barnes & Noble. With cupcakes. And sanity. And maybe pretty fingers and toes.