Take this cup of suffering from me

Human beings are animals who affirm purpose. Throughout history people have believed that the world is fundamentally meaningful, even in the face of the most horrific violence and chaos. When individuals or groups threaten to destroy what a culture takes to be meaningful they are judged and dealt with in a variety of means (educated, shown mercy, arrested, tortured, killed etc.).

Church theology has traditionally been one of the primary means in which the structure of meaning has been maintained and promoted. It generally legitimates the system of meaning affirmed by a given culture and models its own theological terms in light of the societies norms (the dominant readings of the Crucifixion, for example, have always modelled the political arrangements of the culture they were conceived in rather than confronting them).

Because of this we naturally tend to think of the chaos brought about by suffering as originating from the outside, as an external force that threatens our ability to see, embrace or participate in meaning. It is disease, accidents, the devil, sin and/or human action that prevent us from fully achieving the happiness and fulfilment of a life in line with the natural order. In short, an obstacle threatens our ability to participate in a full, joyful and meaningful life.

From this perspective the religious community has generally believed that "God" has come to set us free from this external obstacle. They have dedicated vast amounts of time and effort to developing theologies that tell us Christ wants us to be freed from suffering, that God is the ultimate source of meaning and that the Spirit gives us security and stability. For when suffering is thought of as originating from an external source then "God" is understood as the one who can free us from that obstacle.

This is why the Passion of the Christ (his full and undiluted embrace of suffering) is so offensive to the Church and Society. For in the Passion Christ does not banish suffering but totally embraces it. This can only be understood when we acknowledge that pain is not simply something that imposes itself upon our life but is, more fundamentally, part of life. In other words, the various possible external threats to our participation in meaning are undermined by the very real internal threat of the dread that there might be no meaning. If this is the case then we cannot avoid this suffering but must face it.

The danger that we might fall short of participation in a meaningful life because of illness, depression, sin, the devil, ignorance etc. does not therefore get at the most fundamental type of suffering: for there is a suffering that arises from the experience of life itself. The experience of this suffering is called anxiety and is manifest in the feeling of dread at the apparent emptiness of existence. It is a dread we strive to avoid at all costs (through church participation, political action, entertainment etc.). Which is what Kierkegaard was hinting at when he said that thinking doesn't make you depressed but reveals that you always were depressed but simply didn't know it.

By avoiding this insight the Passion makes no sense at all (at least until we tie it to the procrustean bed of liberal or conservative apologetics). It confronts us as an offense.

We see suffering as something that comes to us from the outside and therefore as something that we can protect ourselves from through medication, surgery, prayer, entertainment, worship, relationships etc. But even when we are able to protect ourselves from the suffering that comes from without we cannot protect ourselves from the suffering that bubbles silently within. We may repress it, ignore it, shout at it, bargain with it, but we cannot banish it.

It makes no sense to embrace the Passion. It strikes us as absurd to stare at our own suffering and embrace our angst. It is offensive to think that the way of salvation might involve acknowledging the inescapable nature of pain. We are enraged by the thought that this suffering is part of us, is real, is eating away at our humanity and must be brought to light. The idea that we must open ourselves up to this sickness, feel ourselves overcome by its tidal force, and embrace the devastation of this threat is infuriating.

This can't be the path to freedom… this can't be the road to liberation… this can't be the way into new life… and in no way can this be Christianity…

It is natural for us to feel this and it is natural for us to want our cup of suffering taken away, but in the Passion we glimpse the possibility that life might only be found when we grip it in both hands and gulp it down…