'No charge, sir.' When Did You Last Hear That Said?

True story. I take off for Home Depot with my list in my hip pocket. I pull in and park. So far, so good. I find and buy what I need and go to drive off. On the straightaway, I mash the gas pedal and the engine revs but the transmission doesn't engage third gear.

Even the mechanically-challenged like me can tell this isn't good. The engine revs, but I can only get to 30 m.p.h. I'm cussing a blue streak. So, I limp home, leaving no accidents or enraged fellow motorists in my wake.

Then my wife follows me to the repair shop. The counter guy with a con man's face hears my complaint. They'll fix my car. I'm so going to get screwed, I figure.

Later I return to the repair shop. The tansmission fluid was too low, I'm told. The counter guy hands me the bill. I'm sweating, but everything is zeroes on the bill. I ask if there's been a mistake. He smiles. "No charge, sir."

When did that last happen to you?

By Ed Lynskey
@edlynskey
Author of Lake Charles
"Satisfying."
The Rap Sheet/Kirkus Reviews