Happy Star Wars Day, And May The Fourth Be With You
GET IT
BECAUSE IT’S MAY
AND IT’S THE FOURTH
OF MAY
AND THERE’S THAT THING THEY SAY
IN THOSE MOVIES
MAY THE FORCE — snicker — BE WITH YOU
MAY THE FOURTH — tee hee — BE WITH YOU
I DIDN’T INVENT THE JOKE
BUT IT’S A GOOD ONE
anyway
So!
To celebrate May the 4th, as you may know, I’ll be at the Cherry Hill Library tonight, and you can nab tickets here or, I assume, come by and buy tix at the door. I’ll talk Star Wars and other stuff and sign books and do a nude performance art piece to the Ewok’s YUB NUB song, slowed down as if in a David Lynch movie. And maybe I’ll talk a little bit about Life Debt, too. 
Speaking of Life Debt, I’ve been given clearance to give away one tiny little piece of the book — an itty-bitty amuse-bouche of information, which is to say, the first sentence of the first chapter.
Which is…
wait for it
wait for it
waaaaaaaait for it
spoiler space
spoiler warning
SPOILER ALERT –!
“A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”
SEE WHAT I DID THERE
DO YOU
SEE IT
okay fine, jeez, no sense of humor around here — tough crowd.
Here, then, is the first sentence of Life Debt‘s chapter one:
“Luke Skywalker vigorously drank a tall glass of blue milk, kicked a womprat, and died.”
Wait, no, that can’t be right.
“Call me Obi-Wan.”
huh, no — shit, wait, is this it?
“Malakili rolls over and sits up –“
GODDAMNIT, NO, hold on, hold on — *ruffles through papers*
“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single Kowakian Monkey-Lizard in possession of a jaunty hat must be in want of a Hutt…”
NO NO NO NO
I’m sorry for wasting your time, hold on, just sit still.
Oh. Here it is:
“Poe Dameron and FN-2187 study each other’s bodies the way a navigator studies a star chart in the dark…”
WAIT DAMNIT that isn’t right either, sorry, that one is from my, erm, private collection.
Ah!
Ah.
Here it is.
The for-realsies, totally-legit, honest-to-Yoda first sentence of the first chapter of Life Debt:
“Leia paces.”
THANK YOU, GOOD NIGHT
Hope to see some of you tonight in New Jersey.
Life Debt comes out on July 12th, so pre-order now: Indiebound | B&N | Amazon
(And while you’re at it — don’t forget to check out Bloodline!)
