Owning It — an Explorations blog post

(This guest blog post also appears on the Echelon Explorations blog today.)

I wasn't always the person I am today.

It may be hard to believe, but even after the stories I've published and the concerts I've performed, "I can't do that" remains the first phrase I reach for when I encounter something outside my comfort zone. My internal, mental response to people's compliments tends to be "They've got to be kidding," or "They aren't serious." It has been a huge battle to get to where I am now – when I first began this creative lifestyle gig, I was one of the most inhibited souls on the planet. I couldn't allow myself to put out anything lackluster, I couldn't let myself take any risks. Worst of all, I was a slave to my 'people pleaser' attitude – I wouldn't allow myself to do anything my family might not approve of.

I played on the safe side and stayed on the sidewalk, as that Kelly Clarkson song says.

Needless to say, I didn't go anywhere.

Creativity needs freedom to flourish. Not just external freedom – like approval from your family – but internal freedom as well. That little phrase, "believe in yourself"?? Unbelievably true. You need to believe in your ability to create beautiful, worthwhile works, and you need to give yourself permission to stumble a little on the way there. Your skills? You need to own them. When someone compliments your work? You need to own that, too. Yeah, it's a challenge, especially when we're all taught to not think of ourselves, and it's even more of a challenge if you've grown up in an atmosphere that put you down more than lifted you up. But making the decision to "own" the things you're good at can give you confidence. Confidence gives strength. Strength creates a path, and paths all lead somewhere.

For me, that somewhere was into a career of writing short stories like "Middle of Nowhere," and being a professional musician.

Where will your 'ownership' take you?