Which Character is Most Like Me?

Since it sheds a little more light on my answer, I wanted to provide the complete question a wonderful reader posed for my blog topic this week. Raggs asked: Is there one of your characters who contains more of "yourself" than others? Is that character more autobiographical in terms of their reactions, etc?

The answer is yes. As many readers may know, my very first erotic romance, Make Her Dreams Come True unlocked my own submissive orientation. The story I’d intended to be a spicy romance set in the mall took a sharp turn into the world of BDSM, at a time when I had no access to resources about the topic beyond my own fascination with Dominance and submission. The psychology I explored in that book drew me both personally and professionally. As such, the psychology of D/s, versus the mechanics of BDSM, has driven my work ever since. Though integrating the mechanics is LOTS of fun (lol).

While Daniel and Meg’s journey allowed me to start my own submissive exploration, Meg’s character was autobiographical on other levels. I wrote Make Her Dreams Come True in my late 20s, when I was carrying around a dump truck load of dysfunction from my teens and early 20s. Though many specific details of Meg’s situation did not mirror mine, her insecurities, poor self-esteem, loneliness, disconnection and depression were closely aligned with my own struggles in those areas. So in essence, I wrote Make Her Dreams Come True as personal therapy! In hindsight, it's a miracle the angst-ridden thing resonated enough with readers to start my erotic romance career. But it was the 90s, when Dr. Phil was all the rage (wink).

Seriously, though, I do love Meg and Daniel's story. And the great thing about writing over the years is your books become like a photo album or diary. You see your own growth, not only as an author, but as a human being. Now when I re-read Meg and Daniel’s story, my feelings toward this lovely character are similar to what an adult feels toward a teenager. We can understand what they’re feeling, but unlike them, we have the perspective to know what they’re feeling are growing pains. An amazing world awaits beyond those hurdles, where our confidence and experience can take us on new explorations of love and the nature of happiness. We can have relationships more complex and rich than we’d ever dreamed they could be.

I thank Meg and Daniel for helping me take the next step in both my personal and professional life.

Note: Many thanks also to Raggs for this week’s topic!

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Worth the Wait is Coming May 31! Free Chapter One Excerpt Here

“You touch what you want to touch, love. When I want you to keep your hands to yourself, that’s what my rope is for.” --Desmond Hayes, Worth the Wait

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Published on May 03, 2016 16:54
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message 1: by April (new)

April Such a beautiful response Joey!!!


message 2: by Joey (new)

Joey Hill April wrote: "Such a beautiful response Joey!!!"

Thank you, April!! Hope you're doing wonderfully. :>


message 3: by Sandra (new)

Sandra Joey, your answers to the questions are not only fascinating, but the sincerity and downright bravery of sharing such personal details of your life experiences is seldom found in a public venue.
I wish I had an ounce of your self- confidence. On rare occassions I'm ok on a one-to-one level, as you already know.
But you are sharing with thousands!
I admire your courage and honesty.
Now please return to your keyboard and write another story about the magnificent Lord Brian and his beloved servant, Debra.

P.S. I almost forgot to ask a question.
We all have an inner voice, but when did you become aware that your muse was much more than just an inner voice?


message 4: by Joey (new)

Joey Hill Sandra wrote: "Joey, your answers to the questions are not only fascinating, but the sincerity and downright bravery of sharing such personal details of your life experiences is seldom found in a public venue.
I ..."


Sandra, I'll bet you have self-confidence in ways I would envy! I think because of what I write, I've always been comfortable sharing parts of my journey that I think connect with and support others who've faced similar struggles. There's a dividing line to me between telling everyone your business for sympathy or shock value (ugh, those folk drive me crazy) and simply putting it out there as hey, yeah, I've been there, gone through that, and this is what I learned if it's useful to anyone else (beaming). And writing it is always easier than saying it. Public speaking terrifies me (lol).

I'll go ahead and answer your question, rather than creating a post out of the topic, because the answer is fairly straightforward. Of course, I always say that before I write an answer that turns out to be 2000 words, grin.

Seriously, the muse and the inner voice have always seemed pretty separate to me. When I feel compelled to write a story, that's a different feeling from me simply pondering the meaning of life, or telling myself I need to try harder, be nicer or consider something from a different viewpoint. The story drive comes from a different place, and the first time I really realized it was separate was when I hit what I call "the groove"; this moment when you're writing and things take off like you're just along for the ride. You can feel the story is going the way it's supposed to go and your hand is just resting oh-so-lightly on the tiller.

That's something separate than me directing it from my mind, my inner voice, so to speak, though I'm sure my mores, experiences and philosophical ponderings do influence some of my characters' thinking!

Let me know if that doesn't answer the question. Thanks so much, Sandra.


message 5: by Sabine (new)

Sabine I loved that story. Now it makes more sense why it had a very personal feel to it. Great question! Thank you for answering it so sincerely Joey.


message 6: by Joey (new)

Joey Hill Betty wrote: "I loved that story. Now it makes more sense why it had a very personal feel to it. Great question! Thank you for answering it so sincerely Joey."

Betty, I'm always pleased to hear that Meg and Daniel still have affectionate readers (grin). Also glad you enjoyed the post. You're welcome and thank you for reading the story AND the post!


message 7: by Raggs (new)

Raggs Joey, thanks for answering my question! I've been meaning to catch up on your blog, finally get back to it - and here is my question already!

I loved that story, even though it is FAR from my usual fare (I'm the "not very romantic" one, if you remember from the far off days of the website blog). Now I too know why! All of your stories have that authentic touch to me, which is why i love them so - so I didn't know truly which one you would pick. Thanks for the answer, very interesting!


message 8: by Joey (new)

Joey Hill Raggs wrote: "Joey, thanks for answering my question! I've been meaning to catch up on your blog, finally get back to it - and here is my question already!

I loved that story, even though it is FAR from my us..."


Raggs, thanks so much! What a wonderful compliment. And your timing to return to the blog was great. Thanks for the wonderful question. I found it a very thought provoking exercise for me personally, and am glad I was able to think it through and come up with a coherent way to express it (lol). Hope all is well in your world!


message 9: by Alicia (new)

Alicia Finding your work answered a lot of questions I had held over the years though I have never been able to act on them. Your fabulous books have come to mean so much to me as I love your characters. I was so glad when your big heart brought redemption to Jonathan, but that's the way you are xx


message 10: by Joey (new)

Joey Hill Alicia wrote: "Finding your work answered a lot of questions I had held over the years though I have never been able to act on them. Your fabulous books have come to mean so much to me as I love your characters. ..."

Alicia, sometimes I think finding answers to our questions is enough of an act to satisfy what we need. Or at least keep our wants and needs manageable/in perspective (grin). I'm so pleased and flattered you were able to find hopefully positive answers to your questions in my work. Thank you for sharing that reaction, and I'm also so glad you continue to join me on my journeys with my characters.

As far as Jonathan, lol...well, that was one of those "out of left field" directives from the muse. She said, "we're going to write a story about your bad guy." My response: "But he's a bad guy. Everyone hates him." Muse: "Exactly - we have to prove he can be redeemed. And plus, I just enjoy sending you story ideas that give you ulcers and gray hairs to make them work." Lol...

Seriously, though Nathan's story will never be a fan favorite, it remains one of the books I'm very proud of, because he even convinced me he'd found redemption by the end. Though there was still plenty of work to do.

I'm doing a series of FB posts on the Nature of Desire series now, and one of the things I've observed is that series has brought me so many "firsts". Nathan was the first time I wrote a story with a truly bad guy as the hero. It was a challenging yet ultimately fulfilling experience! So glad you felt so as well, and thanks again for sharing here.


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Author Joey W. Hill

Joey W. Hill
BDSM Romance for the Heart & Soul
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