Signs of Spring, c. 2011

AQUAMAN, MER-PEOPLE STILL MISSING
Researchers believe they have finally discovered Atlantis, which they say was an island swamped by a tsunami. They believe the survivors moved inland to Spain and built "memorial cities" in the image of their former home. This isn't the first time Atlantis has been found. It's interesting to me mainly in the light of the recent disaster in Japan. Our fascination with lost civilizations seems to spike when it looks like our own world is on the verge of ending. But places like this are a remarkable testament to our species' ability to keep going despite the planet's best attempts to kill us.  That said, I'm still holding out for a city covered in a giant glass dome.

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WHY BUY CRAZY WHEN IT'S FREE ON TWITTER?

There's some hope for us after all. The AV Club reports that the "peevish Wiffle ball of fact" contradicts abuser of drugs and women Charlie Sheen when he said the shows on his live tour sold out within minutes. The live shows — where he'd presumably talk about drugs and abusing women and whatnot — are far from sold out, and plenty of tickets are still available. Which shows, I guess, that people will slow down to look at a flaming car wreck, but they won't pay to see one.

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WELL, IT MADE THE HULK STRONGER, MR. SMARTY-PANTS

I'm personally divided on the question of nuclear power. Downsides: it's got some terrifying consequences if anything goes wrong; anything that produces waste that lasts longer than all of human civilization is not to be trifled with; and Homer Simpson seems less like a caricature after every one of these accidents. On the other, we are running out of oil and we aren't likely to give up luxuries like heat and light; oil and coal have a pretty impressive body-count; and radiation is actually good for you. At least, Ann Coulter said so. (Making it simultaneously the most interesting and least crazy of all the claims that have rocketed from her mouth.)

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EXECUTIVE COMPENSATION

A recent study cited in New Scientist suggests that financial risk-takers –have lower testosterone levels than normal. So now we have proof: the geniuses who recently disemboweled our economy literally have no balls. It's science.

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SUCK ON THAT, FAULKNER

Neil Gaiman's work kept a kid from killing himself. Now that's what I call writing.

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AW, LOOK. HE'S SLEEPING.

You might think there's nothing to like about this news report of a woman losing her shit and attacking an entire Burger King. You might even think both the behavior and our insatiable desire to see more of it are a bleak reminder of how far news has sunk in its quest for the lowest common denominator. But then, if you watch it carefully — as I did — you will see that the chief of police of Panama City Beach, Fla., appears to have a cat napping on the windowsill of his office. And for some reason, that just made my day.

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THOSE WHO CAN'T, DON'T

Any time someone complains that teachers are overpaid, I am amazed. People who cannot talk to their own children seem to think it's a daily vacation to take 20 to 40 overstimulated kids and try to drill some knowledge into their skulls. For anyone who needs a reminder of what a good teacher can do, I heartily recommend listening to Taylor Mali.