assumptions

when i read, in that blank-until-identified vacuum that is a page, I make assumptions.  we all do.  what's become quite clear to me, however, is that i think we instantly make assumptions that are accessible and similar–that is, we are the same until proven different.

for example, i read slushpile hell.  LOVE.  So love.  and i'd always assumed that the deliberately anonymous agent provocateur was white, young and female.

a lot like me, in fact.

there was another post a while ago that led me to understand the agent in question was in fact male, but never the less, it totally hit me again when i read this, mentioning his wife (and yes, it could still be a girl, but like i mentioned before, there was a post in which he referred to himself as "he").  it's so JARRING!  I'm like, wait, that's not right.  and then–oh, yeah, i guess it is.

the second thing that hit me today was this discussion on uncreated conscience.  i mean, i didn't actually picture katniss as like super white, more like vaguely greek for some reason, but that's not the point.  I think the point is that assumptions in literature become an access point for a novel–they are, in fact, good and encouraged.

but what about assumptions in daily life?  they can be damaging, of course.  they can set society back.  but i kind of think of it like yawning.

yawning is contagious, and more so in certain people.  i have a deep, pathological need to yawn when someone else yawns.  and that is because (and I'm sure at least a certain one of my readers will correct this with discussion of mirror neurons, etc) it is deeply instilled within my dna to conform.  to match.  to run with the herd.  almost as much as is consciously there to differentiate me, there is an unconscious need to be codependent. so someone else yawns, and years of biochemical reactions tell me if i yawn too, i'll be part of the group.

so i yawn.

when i meet someone, i assume they're probably just like me.  even as i find the ways in which we differ, i'm always eager for the similarities.  they're bonding!  from the same town?  OMG, no way!  been to the same country?  didn't you love it!?  had the same life experience?  we're totally stronger because of it.

ultimately, seeing someone as similar to yourself makes them sympathetic.  juries are less likely to convict someone of their same race, age, or background.  you're less likely to condemn your neighbors.  it's too close.  we don't judge those we find similar because the judgement would apply to ourselves. and isn't that the goal?  isn't that how we break down the racial, gender, socioeconomic and myriad other barriers we erected to keep our society divided–ceasing to judge one another?

we look for a character to be just like us in any number of ways so that we can slide into their story, and when we close our eyes we become katniss, and harry, and maybe even bella (though i'll pass on that one).  we connect, and it allows us to hold on. we see ourselves in our books, in our neighbors, in our rivals and it allows us to develop compassion.

so maybe assumptions aren't so bad.

xx