How I'm doing on my New Year's resolutions

A spring report on my 31 resolutions.

I rashly made 31 New Year's Resolutions. Here, just in case you're interested, is a little spring report on my results so far. It's as much for me - because doing this publicly ensures conscientious effort - as it is for you. But it might make you think about your TYSICs and stuff. Hello. Or it might just be sort of interesting. Anyway, here we go.

1-Stop losing things, for God's sake
Yes. Getting there. Haven't lost my glasses this year. Small improvements in the field of thinking-hard-about-what-I-don't-want-to-leave-behind. Did lose a favourite cardigan in Perth, however.

2-Learn to be more passive about things I can't change, and bolder about things I can/should. Like in that prayer you sometimes see on tea towels
I think I'm managing to do this. The tricky thing is that passivity tips over easily into apathy, which is not a good thing. E.g. with Libya it's best if I don't get too emotionally involved because there's bugger all I can do about it. But I wouldn't want to be uninterested in the whole situation. So, yes, not easy but I'm doing all right.

3-Do shows in at least a dozen places I've not been before
This is happening. Some of these shows are already announced. Some will be advertised imminently. I've done pretty well in this area.

4-Eat slightly less red meat, for environmental reasons and to avoid gout
Not easy, but yes, I've succeeded in choosing non-beef dishes more often than not. I know it would be better still to avoid meat altogether. I know, I know. But still. This is something.

5-Drink slightly less red wine, to avoid gout, liver failure, death etc
I've just about pulled this off. Lucky I stipulated a 'slight' reduction. Still some work to do, but steps in the right direction.

6-Also, find at least three new foods I like
No, still mostly eating curry. Must try harder.

7-Give blood at last
Nope. Not yet.

8-Stay abreast of the news at all time, rather than just in the 48 hours leading up to appearances on topical panel shows
Yes, I'd say I have managed this.

9-Do fewer topical panel shows
Yep, just the one recently, and that was in Australia. Approaching a time when I don't have to say 'I know what news story this refers to, but first I'll riff entertainingly for some minutes!'

10-Never read anything about comedy or about myself, where possible
Mixed success. I rashly read a review of myself in Brisbane because someone posted a link. It was nice, though, but I shouldn't have done it. I'm managing to avoid the comedy press in general. Not bad.

11-Fulfil my musical ambitions
Some progress. You'll have to see my next live show to see how it's panning out...

12-Have regular massages
Had one, in Brisbane. I suppose that's sort of regular. Could do better.

13-Stay in touch more with essential people; stop breaking my back for inessential people
Without wanting to go into details, I've made a good job of this. The friend pyramid is now a bit better ordered. NB If you've not heard from me for a while, this doesn't mean I hate you.

14-Do at least six big things for the first time
Nowhere near. Not sure I've done ANYTHING big for the first time. I've got a couple planned, though.

15-Avoid distractions - i.e. the internet, thinking about football, thinking about self - which squander time that could be spent working or being a good family man
I've been on Twitter less. Thinking about football around the same amount, but hey - the season will end in a couple of months.

16-Continue what charity work I'm doing, and try to extend it
I gave money to Comic Relief for rabbit facts. Not bad.

17-Make the most of having a baby, before he becomes a 12-year-old or something
Think I'm doing this, although I was away for a couple of weeks. I've taken a lot more photos and made a big effort to enjoy everything he does.

18-Keep working towards conquering some of my many fears
Little real progres. Thunderstorms is the key one. Have to do something about this before I get caught in another one.

19-Run once a week
Just about on course. I let it lapse, but ran twice in Melbourne last week. I found I was badly out of shape (still thing, but panting). Will not let it lapse again.

20-Resist becoming too much of a 'dad' by continuing to pursue unusual and challenging hobbies
Haven't really delivered on this. Not enough time for hobbies.

21-Help one person a week
I've just about done this, though not always at the exact rate of one a week. But if you add it all up.

22-Swear just a bit less, just to prevent it from losing its impact
No. I said the c-word on Aussie TV last week alone. Without even really meaning to. Must do fucking better.

23-Continue trying not to be quite such a blight on Planet Earth with carbon footprint etc.
Hopeless. Flying back to Australia this weekend. I don't fly for recreational purposes much at all these days - it's all business- but still. Hmm.

24-Make no public negative statements
Oh. That last one was a negative statement. Er. Well, I've done much better at being upbeat on Twitter and stuff. Yes, not too bad.

25-(related to 24) See a confidence coach
Haven't done this yet, but I have found one. More news as we get it.

26-Be bolder with my artistic aims
I'm sort of doing this, yes. I have a lot of ambitious projects on the go which I might have hesitated to even try, not too long ago.

27-...but, seriously, stop being so competitive. Really
No. Still failing at this. It's so fundamental to my personality. This is something I really do want to change. Will keep trying.

28-Always have my flies done up, where possible
Better. But work to be done. Still unacceptably often I find a gaping hole.

29-Get my head round the Israel/Palestine thing once and for all
Some progress. Read a book about it. Starting to have some opinions. Plan to offer both parties a watertight solution by October.

30-Save one resolution for the middle of the year, then announce a 30th Resolution based on what has happened so far
Yes - to ring my mum once a week. It was suggested by my mum.

and

31-Above all, try and remember that things normally work out all right.
They do, don't they. I'm remembering this most of the time.

www.newstatesman.com - How I'm doing on my New Year's resolutions