Ten Things I've done that you might not have...

I've seen a few entries listing "ten things I've done that you might not have", and "ten things I've done that you probably have done", so let me fling myself into the anthills of conformity and scuttle about with the rest of the herd.

TEN THINGS I'VE DONE THAT YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE

1. Hitchhiked across Canada, in both directions, (but not simultaneously).

2. Ridden a camel and an elephant.

3. Fired a machine gun, a submachine gun, a pistol, and chucked hand grenades.

4. Jumped from a second floor ladies residence, (breaking a very good pair of glasses in the process).

5. Stood nose to nose with a skunk, a porcupine, a black bear, a herd of mule deer, several buffalo and et' them afterwards, and stood close enough to a male grizzly to estimate the lenght of his whang-dang-doodle.

6. Dragged a dead black bear from the woods, (you don't know what dead weight really means until you've tried this stunt).

7. Worked as a nude life model for ten years.

8. Made a living as a fortune teller.

9. Picked in a forest of fiddleheads for a three day harvest - during which I chopped firewood for my breakfast - following which I rode home in the back end of a truck singing work songs with a family of migrant Nigerian field hands - they sang Nigerian work songs. Everytime they would run out of song one of them would lean over towards me and say "Sing", and I would roll into a Willy Nelson tune..

10. Hopped a freight.

We've reached the bottom of the list and I'm running out of adlib recollections - so let's pull the pin shall we?

yours in storytelling,

Steve Vernon