Why is STUPID so loud?
Quick recap for those who don't know and haven't been bored to tears by this already:
I was once a teen mom, long ago. Ja, big deal, old news. These days I'm trying to support young mothers in my community, in a way that I would have wished for many years ago. A very simple idea.
I seem to be labouring under the sad misapprehension that most people are inherently good and nice and think that what I'm doing is a good and nice idea. However. Too often there are nasty shocks and I reel at the gobsmacking, flabbergasting, knicker-knotting bitchiness of some apparent humans.
There are people who think that by providing a safe place and encouraging place for young mothers to meet and BE ORDINARY MOTHERS, I am shepherding an entire generation of gormless young tarts towards general knocked-upped-ness and a bon-bon noshing, grant-supported life of leisure. With YOUR tax ronts, nogal!
Now.
This is what I know:
1. There is a lot of STUPID in the world
2. STUPID and CRAZY make a lot more noise than INTELLIGENT, SANE or even VAGUELY RATIONAL
3. I'm not supposed to listen to STUPID or CRAZY, or mistake it for an opinion that actually carries any weight
4. I'm not supposed to care what STUPID or CRAZY thinks, and I'm certainly not supposed to let it affect my determination to do the work I'm trying to do
5. I'm DEFINITELY not supposed to let STUPID or CRAZY affect my own sense of self-worth, and mostly that works, but on a bad PMS day, for example, SUPPOSED TO doesn't always cut it
6. Sometimes, some of the people I am trying to help might not seem to "deserve" it – they won't always have the right ideas, or behave in the way I'd like them to. They won't always do the right thing. This is not supposed to deter me from trying to help them, or from helping others if I can't get through to them. If you get knocked by an individual who's not behaving correctly, you're supposed to keep trying. That's what NOT STEREOTYPING means.
7. STUPID and CRAZY hang out in the comments sections of news websites & SMS columns in local newspapers. Best to avoid those places unless you LIKE aneurysms.
Here's what I DON'T KNOW:
Is it better to ignore STUPID & CRAZY altogether, and quietly carry on with the business of trying to do right, as I'm doing? Quiet diplomacy has it's plus-side; it means you don't have to engage with the loons – a fruitless exercise anyway – but it does bring with it a shiteload of repressed anger and stomach ulcers eventually.
OR
Does it only feel like there is so much of badness because the good voices don't talk loud enough?
Must you shout louder than STUPID can shout?
Do you make a noise and say LISTEN TO ME, MESSRS STUPID & CRAZY, you vacuous, vitriolic, bad-spelling motherfuckers you?
Do you demand to be heard? Or do you go about your business regardless, your energy best spent on doing the actual work than preaching to the choir or trying to minister to the heathens?
Which choice serves us better? Which choice means fewer depressed and desperate young girls? Fewer abandoned babies, fewer lives which can't get back on track after a detour?
Tell me what to do.
In the meantime – here is a nifty poll. Just gimme an answer. Tell me if you think that by providing support of any kind to teenage mothers, we are encouraging teenage pregnancy. You know what I think. You couldn't have missed it really.
Now tell me what you think.
Go ahead. Make my day.
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