In other news, publishing is wild and unpredictable

As I prepare to click “publish” for a sixth time (technically seventh, but my first novel, Someone You Already Know, is no longer in print), I reflect once again on my four-year publishing journey…especially since I found out yesterday that A Stunning Accusation’s publisher, Booktrope, is closing its doors at the end of next month. Booktrope was my first experience in traditional publishing, and I’m sure it won’t be my last. This is an unexpected hurdle as I continue working feverishly hard to produce Confessions of a Jew-ish Skeptic, but that’s the writing life, isn’t it? It’s never easy or predictable, and I knew that going in. As the expression goes, what’s past is prologue.

Part of being a writer – particularly an indie writer – is keeping your expectations grounded in reality. This is generally true of adulthood, as well: my husband and I are floored at the prices of two-bath, two-bedroom condos in our area, and have downgraded our expectations for our first home enough so we no longer expect to have a yard, a two-car garage, or a guest bedroom. We will instead be pleasantly surprised if we can afford those things, but they are no longer part of “the dream.”

In the same way, I’ll be pleasantly surprised if I can pay for more than a few tanks of gas here and there with my writing. Not because I don’t think I can do it, but because it’s a tough business. Thousands of books are self-published each year, and religious nonfiction just cannot compete with the popularity of romance, erotica, or fantasy. My goals have downsized from New York Times bestselling author to making sales that are steady enough to buy more than a few Starbucks lattes per month.

Let me tell you, I’ve worked incredibly hard just to get that far. And if I continue to do what I’ve been doing – networking with other authors, commenting on blogs that are related to what I write about (which builds relationships with future readers), engaging on social media, updating my own blog, and writing posts for other blogs and media outlets – my business can only improve. And no matter how you publish, it is still a universal truth that the best way for authors to sell books is to keep churning them out. Whether it’s a novel a year or Kindle novellas, giving readers more to choose from is always a good thing (assuming it’s all professionally put-together and such).

While I’m incredibly grateful for the readers of this blog and everyone who’s taken time to read and review my books, I still get hit with self-doubt that I’ll never “make it,” though “making it” looks different for everyone and I’m still figuring out what that looks like for me. But doubt is always in the back of my head when working on a new project. I’ve spent more money advertising my books than I’ve earned back in royalties. I’ve paid to have my books placed in brick-and-mortar bookstores for several months, and earned under ten dollars in return. But I have to remind myself that at least I’m still earning something, while many writers do not. I cashed that bookstore check, and treated myself to Chick Fil A.

I also have to remind myself that four years in publishing seems like a long time to me, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s really not. Not if I plan to keep writing for the rest of my life. Simply put, I haven’t been doing this long enough to earn the right to complain about low sale rates. And I realize that I am damn lucky to make this a full-time job while my husband brings home the paychecks we live on – not to mention health insurance. If I were single, I’d be living off food stamps. I can never stop being grateful for the opportunity to stay home and write, market, and write some more.

So while things seem uncertain right now, this is not much different than the bumps that can occur with any other job. Companies go out of business all the time. Good employees get laid off. Life happens, shit happens, and we keep looking for other avenues to use our skills. More to the point, not everyone ends up in a field they are passionate about – talk about lowering expectations to match reality when the only job that puts food on the table is one you hate. I’m far from the only one feeling jaded, and having to supplement the work I really want to do with a day job that pays more. If there’s any big lesson I’ve learned over the last few years, it’s this:

You are not defined by what you do.

YOU. ARE. NOT. DEFINED. BY. WHAT. YOU. DO.

Not to mention that what you “do” does not have to be equivalent to how your bills get paid. Even if I end up supplementing my income with, I don’t know, bar tending, I will always say I’m a writer when people ask about my career. I mean, how else will people know my books exist?

Bottom line: adulthood is a rat race, and we’re all just trying to get by. So if you make good money in a field you love, count your blessings. If you don’t, just know that your work “title” doesn’t say anything about your worth or the gifts you have to offer.

As for Stunning’s future, my plan is to self-publish with a new ISBN and cover as soon as I can – I already emailed the epub to the formatter who worked on my other books, and sent a handful of stock images to my cover artist. This is all in the interest of preserving my Amazon reviews, which will disappear once Booktrope pulls the book for good. I don’t think I can pitch an already-published book to agents, so that leaves self-publishing as the only option to keep the story alive. And this is a story I believe is worth keeping, because I feel it’s my best work of fiction, and its messages about rape culture are so relevant.

If you haven’t read the original, now is the time to purchase it before it becomes a collector’s item on May 31st.

Filed under: Other stuff, Writing & Publishing Tagged: Author Sarahbeth Caplin, Indie Author Life, rape culture, self-publishing, Someone You Already Know, Starbucks, Twitter, Writing