Over Does It

J.P. Barnaby has posted an interview with yours truly on Queer Magazine Online. It's… long. But she asked some really good questions, not the usual boilerplate stuff. So it was fun to do. And she was very flattering in her intro, and I'm grateful!

I was on the phone with my mother this weekend and gave her a quick rundown of my scheduled activities for the next couple of months (actually, through November…!). Her first question was "why the Des Moines Gay Pride Parade?" (That would be Capital City Pride, the weekend of June 10th through June 13th.) I wasn't sure if she was asking "why Des Moines" or "why Gay Pride." Fact is, I think my newfound activism has thrown her for a bit of a loop, particularly the subject, since I've never claimed to be anything but straight. She doesn't quite get the interest I have in gay issues. I've never been politically active; I vote, but that's about it. Despite her attempts in my youth to get me involved; she once asked me if I wouldn't love to run for political office—and instead I ran screaming. Not a politician here, and I think it was disappointing for her, who grew up in an era when women didn't run for office, that I wasn't interested in taking advantage of the fact that I could. But given what I write, and what I've learned in the process, I feel that I need to give back to the community by supporting it however I can. As for why Des Moines—well, Heidi asked, and I answered. And it should be fun. I've never done anything like this before.

I'm doing MediaWest two weekends previous—Memorial Day Weekend, to be specific, when all my friends will be in Kentucky at Spring Crown Tournament. I've been to cons before, but I've never worked one. Again, hopefully will be fun.

Mom, of course, brought up the thing that is the gorilla in the corner: "But love, you don't do well with crowds." Oh, too true. And I think that that is going to be the tricky thing. I don't do well with crowds. As in: Panic Attacks? I Haz Them. So I will need to get to Lansing Friday night and have a quiet evening in the hotel and then show up on Saturday after a pleasant restful breakfast ready to work. Yeah. Cuz that's gonna work…

I think I'm overbooked.

That's not unusual. I tend to overdo in a lot of aspects of my life, which is kind of funny, because I'm a lazy good-for-nothing most of the time. But I overbuy (two of everything? Really?) and overbook, and overeat, and over everything. Which leaves me cluttered, busy, and fat. Yep. That's me. But it's the enthusiasm that does it. I get excited about things, and then jump in feet first, not really thinking about whether or not it's good for me, or in my best interests. I'm a slave to my enthusiasms ("ooh, look! a new hobby! Let's buy everything I could possibly need if I were going to go into this professionally!!"). Overbooking is part of that. Because you see, not only am I booking book-related events, I'm also booking SCA related events, and family events, and personal events. And while the majority of them are fun and things I'm looking forward to, in the back of my head there's this voice going "um… 'scuse me? Time for me?" and reminding me that not enough rest means the fibromyalgia flares up, and too much socializing means the panic attacks flare up, and not enough downtime means the ulcer flares up.

And then I mentally shoot the little voice in my head and say heartily "It'll be FINE." Which it will. Eventually.