Lainey’s List Chapter Twenty-Three

 

Lainey

“You look sad today,” Reese comments as we lean against the fence and watch one of the trainers take Cassidy around the exercise pen. Despite my growing up in Texas, Reese is the only rancher I know, and he’s not really a rancher. He’s a hobbyist with a big bank account.

His family settled this huge piece of land over a century ago. But the most recent generation is more interested in the green cash than the green land; so much of the thousand acres or so is leased out and only a few hundred are kept for the family. Cassidy loves the horses. We’re both going to miss this place.

“Really?” But I’m prepared and trot out the excuse I came up with last night. “My mom’s sick. I’m going to visit her next week.”

“I’m sorry, doll. Is there anything I can do?” Reese lays his hand on my shoulder and turns me toward him. It’s not hard to summon up the grief necessary to convince him things are dire.

“No, nothing anyone can do right now. I’ve got it covered.” I rub my cheek against his hand, allowing myself these small comforts.

“What’s going on?” Nick ambles up looking gorgeous as ever.

“Lainey’s mom is sick,” Reese informs him.

“What can we do?” Nick offers immediately.

My heart literally aches at the sight of him. And for once, I don’t make any effort to hide my appreciation of how his plain white t-shirt tightly hugs his leanly muscled form.

My frank gaze is returned with eyes widened in surprise and a warm smile.

“Nothing,” I finally answer. “I’ve got it covered.”

He rubs a finger over his lush bottom lip as he considers my response. “Well, you tell us if you need anything. We’re here for you.”

“I know, and if there’s ever a time I think you can help me, I’ll come to you.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

He gives a slow nod and then takes a place at the rail next to me. His bare arm brushes mine and I nearly go up in smoke. There’s something nearly magical about being around Nick and not having my guard up, not trying constantly to remind myself that to take up with one of my close friends is madness.

The artificial barriers I tried to erect between the two of us were a constant source of friction. I’d get upset. He’d react in kind. We’d give in to the always-simmering attraction, and then the whole ugly cycle of anger, regret, lust, and action would repeat.

I had hoped if we had some separation, if we stopped giving in, we could find a peace between us. Now I suspect what will grow in my absence is pure heartache. But, it is what it is. I made my bed. No sense in using the short time I have left to chew on all my previous bad decisions. There’ll be plenty of opportunity for that when I’m gone.

Until then, I’m storing away all these memories, these small contacts—and maybe, if I’m fortunate, bigger ones—like a squirrel hoarding nuts for the winter.

My winter’s going to be long.

“How was practice today?”

They only get Sundays off. One day a week for their families, and then it’s back at the grindstone.

“Good. Glad to have tomorrow off. I’ve been staying late with Plant, Monty, and a couple of the others this past week. I think we’re finally getting our timing down. We’re going to keep at it, though. Quicker I get rid of the ball, the longer my career is going to be.”

“Not to mention, Charlie and I stop breathing whenever you’re hit,” I tease. Although it’s not really a joke. We do clutch each other and hold our breaths until he gets to his feet.

“Wouldn’t want to be the cause of your breathlessness,” he murmurs. The tone’s so low and so sexy that even Reese gasps next to me.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I think this conversation’s about to get too racy for me.” He turns to hail his trainer. “Hold up there, Jose. I’ll take Cass around the pen a few times.”

Nick shifts closer until I can feel the whole hard, wonderful length of his side pressed against mine. I allow myself to rest against him. His eyes bore a hole into the top of my head.

“Your momma must be real sick,” Nick concludes. “Because I’ve never seen you this way.”

Keeping my gaze fixed on the pretty chestnut quarter horse Reese is mounting, I ask, “You want to go for a drink next Saturday? I’m going to see my mom this week, but I’ll be back.”

The air is thick as molasses between us.

“Something’s going on with you, Lainey, and it isn’t just your mom.”

“Maybe. Maybe I’m just tired of fighting. I’ve been struggling with things between us for a long time, and it could be cowardly to give in but sometimes you have to take the path of least resistance—for your own sanity.” I straighten up and turn to look him full in the face. I don’t hold anything back. Not my lust and desire for him. Not my grief over our impending separation. Not my anticipation for what Saturday night could bring. “You meeting me on Saturday or what?”

He swallows, and then his whole face tightens with lust. “If I’m not there, I’m dead.”

 

 

The post Lainey’s List Chapter Twenty-Three appeared first on Author Jen Frederick.