Why we beat ourselves up as writers?
I mentioned in comments the other day about Richard Blaise on Top Chef All Stars. This guy is amazing. He's talented. He's creative. He can cook the bleep out of anything. He's clearly a star and has basically sailed to the finals. I'm not great with numbers, but he couldn't have been in the bottom more than once and he was regularly either in the top or a winner in the challenges.
He's a nervous wreck! He's paranoid about not winning. He's shouting to himself as his food is sent out that he SUCKS! He's clearly not good enough for himself. Now that can be an issue on many levels for a person – but let's focus on the creativity element.
Why does a person who has clearly succeeded in his profession not think he's ever good enough? According to his on camera interview… by not doing so it forces him to continue to work harder and be better.
Right now my writing life sucks. I'm sure there are some out there who know this feeling. Of course I'm alternately giving myself a pep talk then telling myself that I suck as a writer.
In the dark times I will try to pull myself out with logic. I've had 12 books and a novella published. I can't really suck that bad. Publishing is an achievement so many writers aspire to and I've reached that goal.
But I'm not where I want to be. Which means I must suck. I've gotten rejected – so I must suck. I got a bad review – it's because I suck. When I can step back and look at myself (I usually beat myself up for being fat but that's a whole other post) I think… I hate that person. I hate the negative nelly who is always down on themselves even when they've accomplished something. Like Molly's advice about really rejoicing in the positive because there is so much negative. It's great advice.
But I also realize part of why I kick my own butt is for the reason Richard does it. In a creative and competitive world you have to be self-motivating. You have to want to stand above the rest because it is the only way to get noticed. You have to work harder and do more than the person next to you. I know as writers we say we don't compete individually against each other… but well we sort of do don't we?
The two Regency Historical writers, who are submitting on proposal at the same time, are going to the same pool of editors. Same with the paranormal writers, mystery writers – you name it. Chicken is chicken. And the best chicken is going to win.
Granted this isn't done under a 60 minute time constraint with two authors pitted against one another as they struggle to crank out pages... but the result is the same. Creative people, going head to head, for a limited number of publishing spots. Only a few are going to make it to the top. The rest… sadly… will be asked to pack up their laptop and go.
The benefit of being a writer instead of a contestant on Top Chef is that you have endless possibilities to go back to the competition. But we also need to realize that if you're not working, struggling and dying to get better, if you're not thinking in your head about getting to the top… you might not get to the middle.
So I suck as a writer. Which maybe for now, that's okay for me to think, because maybe it will serve me in the end to push myself to that next level.
What about you? Anybody else out there suck as a writer?
P.S. Happy St. Patrick's Day to all Irishmen and drinkers. And all drinking Irishmen!
He's a nervous wreck! He's paranoid about not winning. He's shouting to himself as his food is sent out that he SUCKS! He's clearly not good enough for himself. Now that can be an issue on many levels for a person – but let's focus on the creativity element.
Why does a person who has clearly succeeded in his profession not think he's ever good enough? According to his on camera interview… by not doing so it forces him to continue to work harder and be better.
Right now my writing life sucks. I'm sure there are some out there who know this feeling. Of course I'm alternately giving myself a pep talk then telling myself that I suck as a writer.
In the dark times I will try to pull myself out with logic. I've had 12 books and a novella published. I can't really suck that bad. Publishing is an achievement so many writers aspire to and I've reached that goal.
But I'm not where I want to be. Which means I must suck. I've gotten rejected – so I must suck. I got a bad review – it's because I suck. When I can step back and look at myself (I usually beat myself up for being fat but that's a whole other post) I think… I hate that person. I hate the negative nelly who is always down on themselves even when they've accomplished something. Like Molly's advice about really rejoicing in the positive because there is so much negative. It's great advice.
But I also realize part of why I kick my own butt is for the reason Richard does it. In a creative and competitive world you have to be self-motivating. You have to want to stand above the rest because it is the only way to get noticed. You have to work harder and do more than the person next to you. I know as writers we say we don't compete individually against each other… but well we sort of do don't we?
The two Regency Historical writers, who are submitting on proposal at the same time, are going to the same pool of editors. Same with the paranormal writers, mystery writers – you name it. Chicken is chicken. And the best chicken is going to win.
Granted this isn't done under a 60 minute time constraint with two authors pitted against one another as they struggle to crank out pages... but the result is the same. Creative people, going head to head, for a limited number of publishing spots. Only a few are going to make it to the top. The rest… sadly… will be asked to pack up their laptop and go.
The benefit of being a writer instead of a contestant on Top Chef is that you have endless possibilities to go back to the competition. But we also need to realize that if you're not working, struggling and dying to get better, if you're not thinking in your head about getting to the top… you might not get to the middle.
So I suck as a writer. Which maybe for now, that's okay for me to think, because maybe it will serve me in the end to push myself to that next level.
What about you? Anybody else out there suck as a writer?
P.S. Happy St. Patrick's Day to all Irishmen and drinkers. And all drinking Irishmen!
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