Dare I?

Let's talk about sex/ erotic writing. I would like to think that some of the material that I write would be classified as "erotic and edgy." However I'm learning that one author's erotic and edgy sex scenes are merely boring and lame to another reader/ author's perspective. The same could be said vice versa one author's boring and lame sex scenes is another author/ reader's erotic and edgy.
For the sake of a brief explanation I write a lot of oral and anal sexual material; for me that's erotic and edgy. I will say for the sake of my writing I have been researching porn movies and sex website to keep me abreast of new and edgy material. I have to admit that the things that I have been reading and seeing yes... YES in my own eyes my sex scenes would be boring and lame by comparison. Seriously I have seen and read some things that have actually just not only turned me off but... but also... broke the button off to the point that I sometimes find "sexual" content repulsive.
I'm not sure what the point of this blog is. I think I'm looking for opinions and perspective of what is "erotic and edgy" from someone else's perspective. Is the what important as much as the when, where and how? What qualifies foe edgy? What qualifies for erotic? Maybe we should start with some definitions... Got one, I'm willing to hear.