Shouldn't you be playing hacky sack and looking for the subtext in cartoons and voting for Bernie Sanders and beginning every sentence with "Dude..."?

I’ve been camping for weeks now. Months, I think. Camping is where you pay a small fortune to live like a homeless person, and it’s worth every fucking penny.

Then there’s the pot. These campgrounds are full of potheads. Everywhere you look, someone is eating an entire bag of Cool Ranch Doritos or laughing spacily at nothing or being fascinated by an ant hill.

“They work as one! Dude. We can learn a lot from ants…”

But living like this has its downfalls, the most important being I can’t get a resident fishing license. A non-resident fishing license costs 42 million dollars, whereas a resident fishing license is only 19 cents. Therefore, today, I have formally rented a PO Box.

I’m not sure it’ll be enough. It isn’t enough for a bank account, but we live in the internet age, so that’s no big deal. I’m not sure it’s enough for voting either. The primary is over here, but I voted Trump by absentee ballot in SoDak. And then there’s renewing my driver’s license and filing taxes next year and this and that.

They really want you to plug into the grid in this society, don’t they?