Surprised . . . Again

 

It happens every year. By now I shouldn’t feel surprised. But I did again this year.

Spring!

Getting out of the car to walk into a garden center on Saturday, I beamed at my good fortune to breath spring air again this year. Somehow every year I doubt that this season will actually come. I don’t say it out loud, but I live that way. I stay winter-hunkered-down, braced for below-zero temperatures. I wear layers and sensible, close-toed shoes.

Silly, right?

When I drill down a bit, I realize that I can all too often live this way in my soul. I brace myself for the inevitable blizzards of life; I wrap myself up in layers of self-protection; I take the sensible, non-risky route to decisions.

As C.S. Lewis said about Narnia in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, “It  is always winter but never Christmas.”

I go easily to winter of the soul. Perhaps you do too. Even those of you who live in warmer cities.

John and I have a ritual every spring: we put together our screened-in porch. We always scratch our heads and ask each other, “How did we put this together last year?” Last spring seems like a lifetime ago. And we always end up needing the help of at least one friend. (Thank you Robin, Bryan, and Becki.)

But as we put up the porch every spring, we also remember.

We remember High Tea with family and friends. A movie night with nieces. Heartfelt conversations with friends and family members. A silly birthday party for our dog. Afternoon naps while the birds chattered. A squirrel who hurled nuts at the roof. Two skunks who passed by on an evening stroll from our yard to our neighbor’s yard.

And remembering helps pull me firmly into spring, away from the gray hues of winter.

Recently, I’ve begun a remembering morning exercise for my soul. Every morning I open a journal and write down ten things for which I’m grateful. Some mornings I struggle. Other mornings, my pen flies down the page. Always I find that I smile. Joy starts to crowd out the winter-gray of my soul. I do, indeed, have much for which I’m truly grateful.

My gratitude list reminds me of this truth: “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13, NIV).

Dear Lord, give me, give us all,  eyes to see your goodness and grateful hearts to celebrate it.