"Two Leaps of Faith"

Back in the late 60's or early 70's I read Jerzy Kosinski's "Steps." It is written in the first person in a succinct and direct style. The protagonist is a sojourner, mysterious, sexual, clever, manipulative and dangerous.
Kosinski's short novel, which won the National book award for fiction, stayed with me and propelled me to start writing my novella that I originally had intended to call "Eclipse." It was to be about a young man who infiltrates the lives of a French couple whom he meets on the beach in Nice and winds up committing a senseless murder.
I wrote the first chapter (about a page and a half) and a detailed outline. Then I put them aside. Every once in awhile I would reread the opening pages, which I liked, and the outline, which I didn't, and then put them away. This went on for quite a long time, until several years ago I decided to actually sit down and write the book.
Again, I liked what basically became Chapter One (with a few revisions). But I found the outline schematic and unpleasant. So I got rid of it and took a leap of faith. I decided to trust myself to write this book. And then I took a second leap of faith: to trust my characters and, in particular, my protagonist, who held some similarities to Kosinski's but who was younger and much more vulnerable.