Shadow Wolf Sagas: Red Fangs post mortem.
Hi all.
Last week wrapped up the latest installment of my Thursday night serial, The Shadow Wolf Sagas: Red Fangs. I would like to cap that off with some thoughts and a preliminary examination of what I will likely change for the final write up when I gather it all up in the fall.
Red Fangs begins with Ragnar in a depressing position. After book one, his friends/roommates/lovers, The Twins are embroiled in a conflict to see who runs Doxies’s Guild. Ragnar feels marginalized, since it really isn’t his show, and takes to drinking. Things get worse when his favourite waitress at the willing wench gets killed by vampires.
Right here we run into a few problems.
The Twins: Readers want to know more about The Twins. I found this out from reader feedback long after I started writing Red Fangs. I will have to write a bigger part for them, as I did with the final version of Blade Breaker.In this case I will also want to showcase the Whore’s War, who The Twins are up against, and why readers should actually care about who runs prostitution in Myrrhn. A good start would be adding in a little modern politics with one of their opponents wanting to kick out trans-gendered guild members or something like that.
Ragnar drinks normally as a cultural artifact. He needs to be more obviously melancholy, perhaps peeved that The Twins have hired security that isn’t him. Not whiny, but maybe feeling a little old. Perhaps a way to endear Delilah to the reader would be to have her explain that this security is a way for The Twins to keep Ragnar out of a bad situation because they care.
Soon we have Ragnar tracking down a mysterious Vampire who seems to be very active in the city’s slums.
I like the idea of Cinder, a semi-mythical Vampire who wants to cause a war between humanity and the bloodsuckers. I love the idea that this is really just a monicker taken up by other vampires to stir up trouble.
Early references to Cinder all need to be cleaned up.
Ragnar needs to bash more heads searching for the information.
The last half of the book involves the Vampire, Berkhilda, a woman who is not proud of her vampire half and really just want to be a viking. They capture Cinder by accident, and eventually discover that they have her. Hijinks and BLOODHYDRA ensue.
Berkhilda’s internal conflict needs to be clarified for the Reader. A scene where she feels revulsion after drinking blood would be good.
Ragnar and Berkhilda need to talk about Nordan culture more, not only is it a good way to world build, it also helps them better establish a relationship.
The Mercenaries that attack them should be tied to the Whore’s War.
Cinder and Berkhilda need to argue more.
Fights need to be more epic (EPIC!)
Delve in Ragnar’s relationships a little more.
