The meaningless state

Once in a while I would be struck with this state, which I term the meaningless state. It is the state of feeling everything is meaningless, and it’s a state of procrastination intermixed with despondence and a fear to move forward. It is a comfortable state, which is probably the state most people are in most of the time till a risky action is taken.

In this meaningless state, I re-evaluate what I have been doing, and re-correct my actions for the next move. Maybe a more accurate term for this state would be called reflection, but I think it is not about reflection, but starting from a blank clearing.

Of course, my toughest battle is my desire to write more words but it seems the obstacle I am facing is myself, that I am not writing fast enough. There is a story waiting to unfold from within me, but I am not letting it go. In this state, I feel that it is meaningless to go on, and the question is back to – why am I doing so much?

I am looking at dropping some commitments as I think I am over committed at the moment.

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