Self improvement

I hear the news, I read the papers

The rules to good health, give me the vapours

Today red wine is good for the heart

Yesterday it was a poisoned dart

Fruit is in and then it’s out

Smoothies are good then there is a doubt

So I try and try to follow the rules

Though I begin to think they are written by fools

I give up wine and drink more water

Eat healthy food, pass junk ,more than I oughta

I eat less meat and eat more beans

You can hear me coming ,if you know what I mean

Butters in then it’s out

My poor sober brain begins to doubt

I eat healthy food, I hardly drink

I exercise to reduce my bingo wings

It’s all so pointless I feel sad

When healthy living should make me glad

I drink more wine, I reduce the water

Read the news want to shoot the reporter

I am on the treadmill what the hell

Might as well have a Donut ,as well

I skip the news and censor the paper

I use common sense, a ball breaker

I weigh myself and exercise

A slim svelte body the ultimate prize

I drink more wine I dance and sing

Join an exercise class for lots of ping

I weigh myself I give it up

Throw the scales in the garbage truck

I shop, I live, I eat I drink, sod the fads they mostly suck