redspkscott:
One of the first serious sexual fantasies I had...
One of the first serious sexual fantasies I had about being spanked myself when I was in the grip of teen puberty involved an intruder breaking into my bedroom late at night, tying me up, and spanking me against my will. Hard. Not love taps. His intent was to make me cry and he enjoyed my struggles.
That’s exactly what happens in this great strip series by Jonathan (is he still around?). This is only part of the story, but it’s my favorite series of pictures for the larger comic.
That early imagining is an example of how I would end up approaching the fantasy of spanking. I’ve never really been into father/son discipline scenarios, but rather displays of power and control. Frat boys and jock hazing. It may partly be that I was deeply worried that people would find out I was gay, and I was afraid to pursue sexual desire (I came of age in the ‘80s at the height of AIDS panic). I think the fantasy is sort of an idea of being forced to accept what I knew deep down I wanted and was afraid to act upon well into my mid-20s. (I came out as gay before then – but it was a few more years before I would try anything with spanking)
All of this is very omnipresent in my “Aaron’s Game” stories. There’s winners and losers and predators and prey. There is some consensual discipline as well (and I’ll be focusing on some in the next chapter actually), but it’s not my main emphasis.
