Anniversaries – From the inside point of view

So my anniversary is tomorrow, it’s been a year since Patrick and I became an official couple. Now I’ve been really excited and emotional about it. I’ve made so many plans, and tried really hard to make it special and look special, until my mother scoffed at my efforts…

She said, and implied, that I was being over the top because it’s just one year. It’s not a long amount of time and it’s not like we’re married. I get it, I do. This kind of thinking would have been mine too if I wasn’t in the relationship. But I am. This is my relationship. It’s not that we’ve been together for a year, it’s a lot more than that for me.

It’s the fact that for the first time ever, someone has loved me – in my entirety. This is the first time that I’ve had a relationship and done all the things that go along with it. I won’t divulge all that my relationship means to me, but my anniversary is a representation of that. That someone has committed themselves to me over a year; that they have dedicated a lot of time to our relationship. That someone has stuck by me despite my personal issues, and despite the small strains that we’ve been through. That is what means a lot to me. And all this has been with an amazing man, who isn’t perfect; an amazing man who recognises that I’m not perfect, either, and yet we help each other, instead of blame or hurt one another.

So we can laugh all we like about those people who take small anniversaries so seriously, but you have no idea what it means to them. Their relationship does not involve you, and rightly so, therefore you couldn’t understand the depth of it or trials that they’ve been through. In your marriage, you might not have gone through as much as they have in a short relationship – you just never know.

For me, this is my first milestone in a real relationship. The first time I’ve completely exposed myself and not felt ashamed. This is huge for me. I’m going to celebrate and thank my boyfriend for all that he’s done for me. No, not showering me with gifts across the year. No, not taking trips with me. No, not loving me and kissing me and being romantic. But for all the ugly stuff, the hard stuff, the patience and the truth. For the support, the thoughtful ideas, doing what he never thought he could and for choosing me. I love him for that, and our celebration represents that.

So don’t judge other people, especially not their relationships – unless they’re one of those people to tells anyone and everyone about their relationship. I’ve learnt that by finally having my own relationship. It’s opened my eyes. It’s shown my things I didn’t know. I’ve felt things that I’ve never felt. I’ve grown in this relationship, and this has been the best year of my life. Call me naive all you like, but I hope this lasts forever, and I believe that it can.

My mask is completely off with this person, and that, if nothing else, is worth a hell of a lot. Thank you Patrick xxx

~ Damsel