Book Review: The Way I Used To Be

“You’re drunk, Edy. You’re really drunk and that guy was trying to take advantage of you! You’re lucky I came in when I did,” he says, dead serious, as if getting taken advantage of would be the worst thing that could happen, as if that wasn’t something that happens to girls on a daily basis.

This debut from Amber Smith begins in the immediate aftermath of fourteen-year-old Eden’s rape by her brother’s best friend. From the very start, Smith will break your heart – there are so many gorgeous, tiny details and insights that are spot on, like Eden’s mother seeing her daughter with blood on her sheets and assuming it’s her period, instead of really seeing what’s just happened. As we follow Eden through all four years of high school, we see her slide from ‘good girl’ into ‘troubled’ – not just as a result of being assaulted, but as someone who hasn’t been able to tell her parents, her friends or her beloved brother about what happened. Friendships splinter, relationships rise and fall, and we witness not just Eden but her friends as they change over the four years – I really loved that the time span let us see how the awkward kids develop as they edge closer to adulthood. Eden is sad, angry and some might say unlikeable – but she’s a very real character whose behaviour, even at its most self-destructive, is also very relatable. One of my favourite YA books of 2016 so far.