How can I have my midlife crisis if TransAm is dead?

I thought I had my mid-life crisis all figured out.

In 2029 when I turn 50, I'll start lifting weights, listen to nothing but the Goo Goo Dolls, dust off the ol' letterman jacket, and – this is the most important party — buy a shiny new TransAm to make me feel 16 again.

But now that Pontiac is no more, how's a fella supposed to get through his midlife crisis? Surely you don't expect me to buy a Mustang, do you?

On my 16th birthday my parents chipped in half for the TransAm I had been pining for.