what it sounds like in my head today

I often wonder about we writerly people, if we are more emotionally fragile to begin with, and that is what draws us to the arts (WHY--since it certainly doesn't make us less emotionally fragile?) or if we become more emotionally fragile because we are in the arts and the arts are a place that tests us emotionally in ways that other people are no tested. You know the obvious stories. Van Gogh. Hemingway. Virginia Woolf.

I am pretty sure that programmers don't sit around crippled with fear about whether or not they can write their next program. At least, my husband tells me they don't.

But I remember when I was in grad school, that there were a lot of the same problems:

Grad Students Writers
"I feel like a fake." "That book was a fluke."
"I don't belong here." "I'm one book away from failure."
"I'm too afraid to even start writing my paper." "I can't show my work to anyone."
"My dissertation will never be good enough." "I'll never be that kind of writer."

Sound familiar?

Today in my head, this is what it sounds like:

"I can't revise this book. I've never done a revision like this before."
"I don't know if this revision will compromise my original artistic vision of this book."
"I hate writing. Maybe I don't want to be a writer anymore. I could get a job at the supermarket, bagging groceries. I am very good at bagging groceries."
"This is too hard. I want to write an easier book."
"What if after all this work, the book still sinks like a stone and is never heard from again?"
"It's too painful to write this because it is true and I will be exposing myself to the world."
"Writing doesn't matter. Why do I worry about it so much, anyway?"
"If I change every single word, in what sense am I still writing the same book?"
"I will probably get it wrong anyway and then my career will be over."
"I'm not good enough."
"Critics will chew this book to pieces."
"What makes me think that I have the right to do a book like this anyway? Who do I think I am?"
"I'll put the book in a dark place and just wait until I'm a good enough writer to finish it. Though I probably never will be."

At some point, I suppose I will have to decide if I have the courage to ignore those voices and keep working on the book. What do you think? Does it take more courage to be a writer? Or are writers just naturally more cowardly to begin with?