If I Love…

He looked in my eyes, told me he

could easily get lost there. That it wasn’t

anything I’d did that made him fall in love

with me, but there he was confessing love

for me. Then he leaned in and tried to kiss me.

If I tell you you’re the air I breathe

will you withhold your love so you can watch me

die a slow and painful death?

Loving the wrong people has left me

afraid to love fully

so I can only offer to love you

conditionally. I need to know

that loving you won’t become slow death

for me.

If I tell you I love you

will you try not to use my love

against me? My love comes in strong doses,

lasts a lifetime of eternities

so if I fall in love with you

can I get you to please slide me

a piece of paper with our expiration date

written in pen

so I’ll be able to prepare for the heartbreak

that will come when this love ends?

If I begin to really fall for you

I mean so hard

you can read in the lines of my poetry

how I has been replaced with we and

how I’ve buried the fullness of my love

in the words of every poem I write,

how you might start to see it’s possible

that I might just dive so far in the love I have

for you and drown and you know you

just aren’t that into me,

please tell me. Don’t drag me to the deep end

and watch me struggle to breathe

knowing there was never a chance

for you and me.

If I tell you I love you

unconditionally

will you stretch the limits of my love

like a rubber band

to see how far it’ll stretch before it loses shape

or how far you can push me before I break?

I watched his eyes glaze over with a

here we go again

and I knew that love was nothing more

than four letters. A word he’d discovered

would get him things he wanted

like please and thank you

and that’s why I had to leave.

Peace & Love,

Rosalind