Being Uncomfortable, Voicing Discomfort, and Leaving Uncomfortable Spaces
Lisa addresses an issue that confuses most humans – do we speak up when people attack or mock us (or others around us), and take the discomfort that accompanies standing up for ourselves, or do we just ignore them and hope they will go away?
As Lisa says here: “I am not good at speaking out when I am hurt by the words of others. I hate confrontation, it makes me uncomfortable. Lately, I have been thinking about the consequences of keeping quiet. Maybe it is doing more harm than just saying how I feel?….
I am not helping anyone by doing nothing.”
I agree that we do not help ourselves or others when we passively accept abuse; if out of fear of consequences we keep quiet, no one grows. And yet it takes skill and compassion for ourselves and for others, to learn how to handle these vexing situations…after all these years, I am still polishing what eastern teachers refer to as “skillful means”….what about you?
I am not good at speaking out when I am hurt by the words of others. I hate confrontation, it makes me uncomfortable. Lately, I have been thinking about the consequences of keeping quiet.
Maybe it is doing more harm than just saying how I feel? I allow other people to harm me because I don’t want to make waves, or make anyone feel bad, or start an argument. I am not protecting myself and I am not challenging misinformation when I hear it. I am allowing these people to become more comfortable in their ignorance and giving them the idea that it is okay to say the things they do.
I am not helping anyone by doing nothing.
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Years ago a coworker and I are discussing the possibility of gay marriage. She knows my girlfriend, and she knows we have been together for many years. She has always been…
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