Me in a nutshell
As a writer, one of the things that I have always found the most difficult is the blurb or summary.
Somehow compressing an entire novel into one line. Summarizing the theme and the characters and the plot, striking interest while getting the feeling of the story across.
Now, even more impossibly, I am trying to do that with myself.
For simplicity I’ll think about my character and what I am wanting with this blog.
If I think of myself objectively, the first thing that comes to mind is that I am always seeking.
Every time Something speaks to me, I admit that I become a bit obsessed. I need to know everything about it. I become consumed with what makes me feel a certain way and why. I need to understand how it was made and what elements came together with what techniques.
The first one I read!The first thing this ever happened with was reading. It all started with Piers Anthony’s Xanth novels. I fell so into thee world that not only was I reading at an above university level by grade 8 but I wanted nothing more than to give the gift back to the world. I wanted to write and transport people into worlds that I had inside of me, that they might need as much as I needed these other books.
Then Harry Potter came along. I don’t think I should even get into the fandom, fanfiction and all the other fandoms that followed. Waaay to much energy went there…
This obsessive habit of mine led me to spending over 10 years as a belly dancer, performing professionally and studying profusely for up to 10 hours a week while still in school, juggling work and friends (although admittedly putting those second).
Then there was the anime and manga. Oh man. I couldn’t just let myself be like a normal otaku, oh no, I had to tirelessly learn the ins and outs of illustration, how to make manga’s and create story boards and scripts and the like. I had to open a goddamn anime store in my home town at the age of 18, which I was not prepared for and didn’t understand and left me in dept at a young age (which I am still working on correcting). It influenced my decision to go to film school, which was something I had always wanted to pursue.
In film school, I spent tireless hours learning to edit, write scripts, light, film, direct, etc. It was an amazing time in which my job was to create. And I LOVED it.
After that I found ball jointed dolls and Oh. My. God. My mother actually thought I was obsessed with the computer. She was worried about my mental health because I felt the need to know every doll sculpt by name and every company and all the history and THEN, how they were made. I spent full summers sitting on the patio sculpting heads and creating these intricate, moving dolls that everyone else thought I was crazy for.
All along the way, I always wrote, drew, painted, illustrated with various materials, studied singing and acting and eventually even moved to Vancouver to become an actress.
Oh, and did I mention that I actually starting getting published and even managed to book a few roles.
My publishing Company! http://www.djinnpublishing.comSo… my first thought when I think of all of this is literally what the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I just be normal?
Truthfully, I’ve had support in that family often humors my projects when they see them but no one has ever really understood this compulsion in me. I can’t control it. I just need to learn and I need to express myself creatively. I need to create.
There is my epiphany. I am simply an artist. I need it to breathe. I need it to feel happy. It can take many forms. It can be music, dance, painting, sculpting, film making, anything.
If I am able to express myself then I am happy that day and that week and I feel whole.
I guess that’s the beauty of the world that we live in. People are passionate about different things.
My passion is creating, and that’s what this blog is for; to put everything in one place and keep active and not deny myself and not put myself down for being who I am, but to build something with that.
Are you the same when it comes to art? Is there anything that you feel similarly about that is completely different? Let’s get the conversation started in the comments section and embrace everyone’s individuality!
Thanks for reading!
H.A. Kinani
