Where it is St.Patrick's Day...

This is the fourth St.Paddy's Day since I moved out, filed for divorce and started life sorta over...or rebooted what my life was like in my twenties. Four quasi holidays where the good people can drink and be stupid and blow off a little steam. This is the first time on this day, March 17th, since my divorce that I have had a good time. Why that is...well I blame the ex girlfriend who has out right ruined two of the four...and was indirectly responsible for ruining another...but not today not anymore...cause I am done with all that shit. Mostly because one can only deal with so much insanity...the line is all girls are crazy so you pick the amount of crazy you can live with...in my exes case...I really shoulda seen way earlier that her level off bat shit insaneness was never gonna jive with my life...but my heart loved her and like an idiot I listened to it.

So three years ago I had just moved out, and the drinking holiday fell on a Sunday. That gave me the added benefit of not having my kid since the ex wife had him on the weekends. To celebrate my new found freedom the plan was to hit up the bar drink quarter beers and see what shenanigans we could get into. The part of this that is my fault is I thought I had broken up with the girl I was seeing at the time and felt perfectly fine to engage single ladies at the bar. The person I had been seeing didn't see it that way and got all crazy jealous over something that hadn't even happened yet. I am not sure why there is any confusion about this set of facts...if you spend the night at my house and then yell fuck you and other curses at me then stomp down the stairs get in your car and leave...we broke up...end of the story...#freedom.I think the plan was for her to be our DD so we could get wasted and she could keep us out of big trouble...that plan was out the window...and all because she got into my facebook account and saw I was talking to some girl...who I had met online almost a year before all of this...let me be clear just because this person became my insane ass crazy ex girlfriend at the time she was just some girl online and I didn't even have her phone number yet. TO be fair though I will say that I was attracted at least to the idea of her...Anyway the pint being I got pretty drunk...met some random bar girl...killed a relationship that wasn't working and started to see my life leading to this girl...who would dominate the goings on for the next two years.

Fast Forward a year.

The crazy e girlfriend and I have now broken up at least twice...tried to be just friends...sorta tried to casually date...and really kind of got lost in the grey area between being friends and fuck buddies. We are suppose to go to the parade...with a bunch of people...and I have bought like 100 bucks worth of booze and shit so we can all have a good time. We got into it over something and all those plans got cancelled leaving me with all this booze and I was pretty pissed off about that fact. So pissed that at the time I though that was the final straw...granted that lasted only about six months. Once again my stupid heart let her back in...

Which brings us to a year ago. If things had gone perfectly we would have gone to the parade with my friends...then on St. Paddy's day itself gone to some bar and had a few to kill off some of the stress of life...what actually happened was us dealing with the fallout of my ex-wife's death as a couple and what that meant to her as the main female in my son's life. We were going to go to the parade but day of it was pretty cold and since my son was gonna have to go with us we decided not too...and I think we just slept though St. Padddy's day itself mostly due to all the stress each of us were feeling about what was happening to us. Even though eventually her immaturity would ruin our relationship for the final time it is hard to blame her for the mess that was going on one year ago today.

So why bring all of this up? Well much like that St.Paddy's Day three years ago this one feels like a milestone. A symbol of what my life can become...instead of what it once was. Three years ago I was fully moved into my new house, on my way to being divorced, and it felt like something big was going to happen. This year I feel like I have put the tragedy of 2015 behind me, gotten over the heartache of losing the crazy ex-girlfriend, and I feel like something big is coming...maybe not big but something fun and real and...