"National American University Holdings, Inc. is a provider of postsecondary education primarily focused on the needs of working adults and other non-traditional students.

The Company owns and operates National American University, a regionally accredited, multi-campus institution of higher learning. The Company operates through two segments: NAU and other. The NAU segment contains the operations associated with the University operations. The other segment contains primarily real estate. The Company offers academic and degree programs online. In addition to its university operations, it operates a real estate business known as Fairway Hills Developments (Fairway Hills). Its real estate business rents apartment units, and develops and sells condominium units in the Fairway Hills Planned Residential Development area of Rapid City, South Dakota. To service its online teaching, the Company utilizes Desire2Learn (D2L), an Internet-based learning management system.“

Just bought a stake in this. After I finish this bottle of vodka, I’m gonna go up to the dean’s office and tell him what’s what.

"I don’t think you’re charging enough for tuition,” I will begin, and cackle drunkenly because I haven’t payed back my student loans either. I’m not too terribly concerned about them. One day, after I die, they won’t matter at all. They will be ‘forgiven’. Haha.

Next up: investing in college bookstores, because JESUS H. CHRIST! You buy a book for $200, then trade it in for $8, then the very next semester it’s $198. The very same book (I know, I secretly marked mine).

If that ain’t a brilliant business plan, I don’t know what it is. Goddamn.

I used to think college was a scam that sent millions of people into lifelong debt, with only a small percentage realizing their actual dreams, financially speaking, but I was wrong. The cultural pressure of “everybody must go to college” actually keeps prices high.

So, yeah, kids. Go to college. I’m investing in your future!