Book Done Yet: Practice Jumps & Plot Lines
I wrote yesterday about not spending much time on the beginning of a book because it’ll change once you get to the end, and I still think that’s true of the first scene unless I change something concrete in it, like a character’s name or the setting. But getting the first ten thousand words in line is also the beginning, the first ten percent (all numbers are rough estimates), roughly the first third of my first act is where most of my set-up has to happen (this is a Crusie Rule for Crusies only; YMMD). But I also have to move plot during that 10%. So after letting it sit for a couple of days, I went back to look at my first 10K on Nita’s book.
Rough outline:
Scene 1: Nita vs. Mort Outside the bar 2AM
Something weird is happening, Nita should investigate
Scene 2: Nick vs Nita In the bar
He stonewalls her
Scene 3: Nita vs Mort in the bar
Nothing wrong here.
Scene 4: Nick vs Vinnie in the bar
Scene 5: Nita vs Mort at the Morgue 4AM
Scene 6: Nita vs Chloe Car outside the bar 8PM
Scene 7. Nita vs. Mom In the bar
Scene 8: Nick vs Mom In the bar
Scene 9: Nick vs. Mom In the bar, later
Next Day
Scene 10: Nita vs Nick in the bar, later 2AM
Scene 11: Nita vs. Nick, his apartment 8AM
Next Day
Scene 12: Nita vs. Lilith? Nick? His apartment 8AM
Scene 13: Nick vs. Belia His apartment
That’s 13,000 words, much of which must be cut because as you can see from the log lines, it just sort of follows its nose, which is what first drafts do.
So Scene 1 introduces Nita in conflict with Morte, but it still reads talky and repetitive to me.
Scene 2, Nita meets Nick, but not much happens because he’s stonewalling her. Why? I dunno, that’s just the way I wrote it at the time. Then Scene 3 is Nita pulling Morte aside to tell him to shut up. (Yeah, that’s starting to read Morty to me, too. Back to Mort.) Scene 4 is Nick and Vinnie after the cops go, a continuation of the beginning of Scene 2. Scene 5 is Nick, Mort, and Chloe recapping the case at the Morgue.
It’s going nowhere.
So where would I need the first 10K to go?
Get Nick and Nita on the page and working together.
Establish supernatural as real.
Establish two different conflicts, Nick’s with Mammon and Nita’s with whoever ordered this hit on Joey plus the poisonings.
Get Nick’s back story in there and Nina’s family history.
Establish Mort, Chloe, Belia, Mammon, Mom, and Mammon. And some of the others.
Establish place: the island, the bar, the diner, Nick’s apartment
Get that romance going.
So the big arc in the first 10% is to get Nick and Nita working together and starting the romance. Get that romance contract in there.
All of this means that a lot of that first stuff was me jumping up and down on the diving board, getting ready to dive in, so a lot of it must be cut. (This is why word count never matters in a first draft. Most of that stuff is going to go anyway. I’m just writing to get the parts I’ll keep. IT’S A PROCESS.)
So what I need is:
Scene 1: Nita vs. Mort (maybe)
Scene 2: Nita vs Nick in the bar, BUT . . .
the story really starts when Mom shows up in the bar that night, so let’s change the time of day of the Scene 1 to that night instead of early that morning. Nita and Mort are supposed to be meeting their mother for dinner, but they get sidelined by the shooting, so when Mitzi (Mom) walks in, it’s Nita’s first interview with Nick.
Which means that Scene 2 is now a mash-up of 2, 7, and 8.
Except I need Nick’s POV. So Scene 2 is now Nick vs. Vinnie, a mash-up of the beginning of Sc 2 and Sc 4, and Scene 3 is the 2-7-8 mash-up. So . . .
Scene 1: Nita vs. Mort, outside the bar, say 8PM
Scene 2: Nick vs Vinnie, inside the bar, 8 PM
Scene 3: Nita vs Nick, inside the bar, starting at 9 PM (8:30?)
Scene 4: Nick vs Mom (an hour later), inside the bar, 10 PM
Scene 5: Nita vs Nick? inside the bar (2AM the next day?)
That still is a lot of talking, plus I think I need to get Nick dragged back to Hell here, and then there’s the breakfast scene that’s also in Nick’s POV.
Maybe:
Scene 6: Nita vs. Nick, his apartment, 8AM
Scene 7: Nick vs. Nita, Sandy’s Diner, 9AM
Scene 8: Nick vs. Mammon, Council Room in Hell, 10AM
Scene 9: Nita vs. Mort, Sandy’s diner, 10 AM
Scene 10: Nick vs. Belia, his office in Hell, 10:15
Scene 11: late in the afternoon, Nita vs Nick somehow somewhere?
8 and 9 are happening at the same time in different places, so 7 is Nita and Nick together, 8 and 9 are Nick and Nita respectively, and 10 should be Nita and Nick back together again, but there’s that office scene.
Plus, I’m pretty sure that’s more than 10,000 words.
Crap.
Okay, let’s look at plot lines.
Nita’s plot line is (1) with Mort, (3) meeting Nick, (4) dealing with Mom in Nick’s POV, (5) talking with Nick (too much talking?), (6) waking up with Nick, (7) breakfast with Nick in Nick’s POV, (9) breakfast with Mort, (11) talking with Nick? no, has to be stronger than that.
Nick’s plot line is (2) talking with Vinnie about bar/demons, (3) stonewalling Nita in Nita’s POV, (4) dealing with Nita’s mother, (5) talking with Nita, (6) waking up with Nita in her POV, (7) breakfast with Nita, (8) the council meeting, (10) meeting with Belia in his office, (11) talking with Nita again.
Both of those are all over the place.
Nita’s should be about finding Joey’s killer; that’s why she’s talking to Nick. Then Mort brings in the poisonings and somehow ties it to Ralph, the guy who shot Joey, so all of her scenes are about finding out who the Big Bad is while all this personal stuff is breaking loose around her. I can do that.
Nick’s should be about finding the Hellgate and dragging the demons running it back to hell. So he talks to Vinnie about it, then tries to quiz Nita, then her mother shows up and changes everything, so he doubles down on Nita? Figure out why he sees her as key. Questions her at breakfast, observes diner, tells the council what he’s doing, gives Belia new orders, goes back to Nita who tells him about the poisonings, which is when he suggests they work together? And then the TP of the first act several scenes from now is when they become partners in the investigation?
That seems tighter.
Diagramming that out helps a lot (thank god for Curio):
Now all I have to do is rewrite and I’ve got my set-up drafted, sure to change later but a good enough foundation for now. And this is definitely a romance because the subplots 9Nina vs. Moloch and Nick vs. Mammon that will dovetail into Nick and Nina vs. Moloch) are just sketched in; this first 10% is about Nick and Nita negotiating a temporary partnership.
I think.
The post Book Done Yet: Practice Jumps & Plot Lines appeared first on Argh Ink.
