Climb Aboard

The steep piles of snow outside my window look more like a scene from a Quebec winter than March 1st in the suburbs of Boston, but it must be time to start thinking about boating because my mind keeps focusing on one subject – boat ladders. Boat ladders? Really? You'd think this Nordic hell we've been living through all winter might trigger escapist images of beaching a dinghy on a warm stretch of sand or sailing on a fresh breeze. Nope. Not yet anyway. Ladders. That's what I am thinking about.

This isn't the first winter these thoughts have snuck into my psyche. There's a reason for this, too, and it's a pretty good one. For as wonderful as boating is, and as relaxing as swimming may be, boaters eventually learn that it's damn near impossible to climb into their boat once they find themselves overboard.

Let's start with the Boston Whaler. Ours is a simple 1976 17 footer, a reliable little boat that sits no more than a foot out of the water. So how hard can it be getting back in the boat? Not hard at all if you're a twenty year old who pumps a hundred push-ups twice a day and has a skinny lower body. Just pull yourself up out of the water, swing your legs around, and climb over the side. I have done this myself. Unfortunately, that was back when the Bee Gees were in the Top 40 and Burt Reynolds was driving around in a Trans Am with The Flying Nun at his side. In a pinch, I can still make it into that boat, but it isn't pretty. Bottom line, I need a ladder.

And our sailboat? Many modern designs are built with reverse transoms that serve as a built-in boat ladder. Unfortunately, no such amenity was in place in 1946 when our old wooden boat came to be. Like many traditional hulls, the thing is impossible to board from the water. Try to climb up and your legs slip down under the curvature of the hull. If you try to board from the stern it's even worse because of the way the transom is cut.

And this isn't simply a hypothetical problem. A few years back I jumped in for a swim, not thinking of the ladder problem and I was stuck in the water for a good long time while my wife and I tried alternative after alternative. If I had been wearing shorts I might have even tried hooking the main halyard to my rear belt loop so my wife could crank me up out of the water. Instead we travailed with a very stowable, very useless rope ladder that was designed more as a workout machine than a boarding device. The more worn down I got, the more futile the effort became.

So just buy a ladder you might say. The problem is, the ladders you can stow easily work like crap and the ones that are functional are better outfitted on a fire truck than a wooden boat.

The result is that I sit here thinking of the new boating season perplexed about how I might find a good compromise of style and function. Hopefully, this gets resolved before the season because after that, I'm ready to push a character overboard in my next story to see how things work out.

Share on Facebook