Love Triangle Thoughts

I think I suddenly realized why love triangles as they are depicted in modern fiction are so cliche, and why some interactions I’ve read and written that could be called love triangles always have felt different to me. In so many YA stores (twilight, The Mortal Instruments, and many more) the relationships form in just such a way that the main character is alleviated from all guilt in having two suitors. 

Using Twilight as an example (for it’s infamy), Bella realizes Jacob’s attraction to her when Edward has left her. Because of course she would neeevver have realized it when he was around, because she only has eyes for him. But this allows, when Edward returns, for Bella to guiltlessly garner the attraction of both. It’s not her fault, she’s done nothing wrong, and any interest in a relationship with Jacob vanishes the moment Edward returns so that it is really just a matter of trying to let Jacob down easy and deal with the pity guilt she has for dumping him. She’s never truly torn, she’s never truly guilty of loving two people at once (technically she did I guess, because she loved Edward even while she was with Jacob, but again, he’d dumped her and was long gone during that time). But how often does that kind of thing happen in real life? And to a (insert quark that is supper lame in reality, but in fiction never interferes with characters ability to attract total hotties). It’s just not realistic. 

But people DO fall in love with more than one person at a time. It happens. People fall in love with someone while they’re in a relationship with someone else. Some people ACT on those feelings and then they really turn into a shit head. But people are shit heads, some people are shit heads in one situation, when they would be considered total sweet hearts in others, so your character might be one too. I think what I’m saying here is, if you’re going to write a love triangle, there needs to be a cost to your main character. Nothing is free, including being loved and adored by many. Maybe your character is married but in love with someone else. They still care about their spouse and their family, but are in love with this other person. What do they do? How terrible must they feel when the spouse is loving towards them. Maybe your character has had feelings for their best friend for a long time, but can’t date for some superficial reason (different religions, families don’t get along, ect) and when your character starts dating someone else the friend gets jealous. So many possibilities, just so long as your character suffers realistically for their situation.