How To Respond When A Christian Sins

Manuel was of the most gifted worship leaders I’d ever met. He was a highly skilled musician, but also had the unique, unpretentious ability to draw in a congregation through music. He made worship warm and fun.

I was a young church leader in a start-up church. Manuel came along at the exact same time that I was praying and looking for a worship leader.

Manuel was more than a good musician; he was also a great guy. He had been a Christian since childhood and had a meaningful relationship with God. His faith seemed strong and sincere. When he led worship, it was obvious that he was singing to a God he knew personally. That attracted me to Manuel, and we became friends. I really enjoyed working with him. Our congregation loved him as well, and our church growth increased as soon as Manuel started leading worship for us.

And then Manuel met Sarah. Sarah was several years younger than Manuel. She started attending our church at the suggestion of her sister. She joined the choir, and she and Manuel became an item almost immediately.

Manuel and Sarah dated for several months. At first, Manuel seemed happy and relatively unchanged by his new relationship. But as the months ticked by, Manuel became despondent. His entire countenance changed. He didn’t seem as happy or carefree. He also started taking more and more Sundays off. It was like he suddenly didn’t want to come to church anymore.

Something was up with Manuel, but I wasn’t sure what. Had I been more experienced and discerning, I would have known that Manuel was struggling with his own shame and God’s conviction. Unfortunately, shame was winning.

Eventually, after several weeks of Manuel’s hit-or-miss behavior, he asked if we could get together. When he walked into my office, I knew something terrible had happened. I’d never seen a man so consumed with guilt and shame. He could barely look me in the eye. He tried to speak, but often had to stop because he was crying so hard. It wasn’t an act; Manuel was in serious trouble and in extreme pain.

Finally, the words came out, “Sarah’s pregnant.” Suddenly, everything made sense—the sporadic church attendance, the despondency—it all lined up. Manuel and Sarah had been sleeping together and now she was pregnant. He hadn’t wanted to come to church because of his own sense of hypocrisy and his desire to avoid the presence of God with his people. And now, it was as if every bright spotlight in the world was aimed at Manuel. His sin would be broadcast for everyone to see. He had become “one of those people” who fails morally and is a Kingdom headline. He hated himself, he was embarrassed and alone, and he wasn’t sure what to do next.

What do you say to a fallen Christian in a moment like that? How do you respond? I knew that the first words out of my mouth to Manuel were critical.

I let the words “Sarah’s pregnant” hang in the air for just a moment. I was stalling, praying in my spirit for just the right response. What would Jesus really say? How would he respond? Then the words came,

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, period.”

At that moment, that verse (Romans 8:1) became my favorite Bible verse. It says in just a few beautifully inspired words the entire message of the Gospel. The power of speaking those words to Manuel forever marked me. Jesus taught us that truth sets free, and in that moment the truth of Romans 8:1 brought some much-needed hope of freedom into Manuel’s dark world.

I probably need to say here that the “no condemnation” offered in Romans 8 isn’t the same as approval or condoning. Paul (the author of Romans) wasn’t saying that sin wasn’t a big deal or that God somehow just winked at the sins of Christians and there weren’t any consequences. That’s not what Romans 8:1 means.

But it is saying that when we’re up to our ears in sin, shame and condemnation won’t be what God gives us. Instead, by his grace alone, he’ll tell us that we can do better. He’ll remind us that such behavior is inconsistent with the new nature we have in Christ, that we are slaves to righteousness, not sin. He’ll tell us that he has great plans for us and that we should aim higher. He’ll offer us forgiveness and call us to repent. He’ll remind us that we are still his children, and that we need to run to him, not from him, in times of trouble.

When I released the truth of Romans 8:1 into the spiritual atmosphere of my office, the heavy stench of shame and guilt were instantly replaced by the healing aroma of God’s grace, mercy and hope. Manuel started crying even harder, but his tears were different. For the first time in many weeks Manuel felt the safe and gentle embrace of his Savior. God hadn’t condemned him. And knowing that, Manuel suddenly gained the strength to walk out whatever lay ahead.

Friends, whether you’re the person in sin or the believer who us helping another deal with a moral failure, you need to be reminded of this eternal truth: It’s God’s kindness that leads to repentance (Romans 2:4). Not God’s wrath or judgment, but his kindness.

We need to call those trapped in sin to repentance, but we always lead with grace and mercy.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, period.”