Continued refining (I hope) first part. I still keep slip...

Continued refining (I hope) first part. I still keep slipping in little pieces of info, though, because they slide in very naturally and it seems like they belong. Then, of course, I find that the scene has fuzzed out again, and have to fix it.

I need to get this part of the ms relatively under control and send it to writer friends for a reality check, because I may have taken a bigger wrong detour somewhere in here, and if I did the whole thing needs to be rethought. Maybe in the next day or so.