Back To Work = Late Post

I usually post my stuff early in the day, but I have been out of work for two in a half weeks so my workload was unbearable. One of the things my doctors said to me was avoid stress at all costs. I did a pretty good job of doing that today, but I still feel like I am swimming in it. I feel like it is going to take me forever to get my head above water and turn everything back to the way they were. I am looking forward to getting back into my normal routine. I was unable to write my lunch break post because I had to go see one of my doctors to give me a clean bill of health. The fact I was unable to write during my lunch break has been eating away at me for hours. God make this anxiety go away!

I need to get myself motivated to write three more "Dylan Thomas" books. When my wife was doing research she found out it is better to have multiple books to send to an agent. I have completed two of them, so I figure three more should do it. The problem is I am having a hard time finding time to complete. I cannot really work on them at work because it would take up more than just my lunch break. I find it hard to write at home so what are you going to do. I function better on a routine, and if I do not have a routine of writing mixed in it just won't happen.

I should have knocked on wood when I wrote a post a month ago about how my blog has finally started to take off. That week that I wrote that post my readership went down by 50%. I know I know Trey it shouldn't matter how many readers I have, but because of my low self-esteem I base my self-worth on how many people are reading my work. I suppose it could be because I was slipped into madness and my posts were lame, or because I didn't write a post Monday through Friday. Either way I need to work harder on this. I have made it a personal goal of mine to only check this site two times a day to respond to comments and look at my stats. I did a great job of this while I was out on FMLA. I am trying to work with my therapist to just write and not care about the results.

Coming out in a few months will be my new poetry book "Trapped Within My Illness." It will either be released by Graywolf Publishing or if it gets rejected I will just self publish it. This book chronicled what was going on in my head leading up to my complete loss of reality and sanity. I feel confident that this book is by far the best one I have written. I am just not sure if it will fit in with what they are looking for. There is not much of a market for dark shit.

I want to rap this up with a farewell to Johanna. I appreciate all the time you have spent reading and committing on my posts. Johanna and Trey (Rambling Taoist) have been with me since I started blogging and in a funny way I would consider them as friends. I loved how they were polar opposites. I have been on a teeter totter ride going between searching for faith and then back to a realist point of view. What was great was I would get nudged towards faith when reading Johanna's comments, and back to logic and reasoning when reading Treys responses. I just wanted to take the time to acknowledge this because my readers are important to me. I bear my naked soul out to the world and I appreciate those who take the time to read my random thoughts. Johanna I hope to see you back someday.