Day Two :: The Change in My Pocket
Yes. The second day has gone well.
I feel I should say that most of the concepts and exercises that form the backbone of this course – thus far – are not new to me. I have come across them before. This is because I’ve been around a bit and I’ve kept my eyes and ears open. But that’s cool, because it’s not about novelty; it’s about structure and openness. Which is to say, the structure of the course – how these things have been brought together and are presented – and my own openness to these ideas. You can come across a very helpful idea every day of your life but unless you’re ready to engage with it, it’s about as useful as a chocolate Volvo*.
It’s like the change you want to see in the world is in your pocket, flapping about all loose and useless. You need to get a handle on that shit. You need to spend that motherfucker. (My metaphors have become mixed. And I am embracing that.)
Aside from the revitalising of the old, I am also finding myself excited by things that are new to me, such as Richard Wiseman’s work on luck and the concept of wabi-sabi. Also today I’ve been working on sorting out my priorities and figuring out why I’ve been holding myself back.
Actually, one of the main things that I think has held me back in my life and is kind of pricking at me even now as I write this, is shame, or fear of embarrassment. I see the two things as pretty much interchangeable.
This is something I’ve got so much better at over the years, but it still bothers me.
And now, writing here about what is essentially self-improvement, part of me gets embarrassed.
I don’t really know why, because it’s stuff I wholeheartedly believe in. I’ve learned a lot from forays into Buddhism and meditation and Positive Psychology over the years, and it’s served me extremely well and continues to do so. But there is a part of me which hears the mocking voices and derisive snorts of the cynical, and sees their rolling eyes and wearily shaking heads, and despite myself, very much despite myself, I still allow myself to be embarrassed.
I must remind myself at all times that I don’t actually have to answer to anyone, and certainly not to people with whom I fundamentally disagree.
…
Anyway, yes. A good day that I’m hoping will actually result in me taking on a couple of habits I’ve long wanted to adopt but never have because of a lack of self-discipline.
We’ll see though. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
Oh, and yesterday I applied for a blog-post writing position on some ‘culture’ website. They got back to me and asked me how much I would charge for ten blog posts of 5-600 words each. I had the temerity to ask for a penny a word. (Which is bugger all, in case you were wondering, but probably much more than they are prepared to pay.) Consequently, I don’t think I’ll get that job. Consequently, I don’t think I want it.
(I do want it.)
Until tomorrow.
Be lucky.
x
*Please don’t argue with me about the usefulness of a chocolate Volvo. Arguments could be made, I grant you, but overall, a chocolate Volvo is impractical to the point of almost total uselessness. Accept it.
Filed under: TRAINING Tagged: CeeLo Green, change, chocolate, Richard Wiseman, wabi sabi
