Today, I'm Dr. Jekyll

So here's the Jekyll and Hyde of it all...

I've been of two minds lately: one side of me says "go, go, go" with the self-publishing. The cold hard fact is that people are really making money...some of them good money...publishing directly to the Kindle. How long will this last? No one knows, but "infinite growth" is impossible; history is filled with examples. So Mr. Hyde (he's the ugly one) wants to jump in (er, cash in) while he can.

But is he really the ugly one?

Dr. Jekyll is the half who wants to keep "improving my craft" and strives for professional membership in the HWA and/or the SFWA. He's the one who made me hammer away at my little stories until landing that (cue hautboys) Shimmer acceptance. But wait...wasn't it Jekyll who gave birth to Hyde in the first place? Isn't Hyde just another side of his personality?

What does Jekyll really want? Awards? Accolades? Acceptance from the cool kids who get to play "professional writer"? Are those things really any different than cashing in on the Kindle craze? Damn it, Jekyll! You made this monster, now man up and do something about him!

*deep breath* Okay. Call it "growing pains". What do I do next? Can I find a way to sate both sides of my writerly self?

Today, I'm Dr. Jekyll. I need to put final edits on a short story. I like the story; I've worked hard on the story. Should the target market accept it, I think I'll make something like $30, minus Paypal fees. Hopefully a hundred people will read it. Mr. Hyde is laughing at me, just like he did all last week while I toiled away at my 2677 edits for The Saints are Dead.

*sigh*