Molly Davis's Blog, page 58
March 4, 2019
Just Three Things
It’s been a crazy few weeks filled with good work, people I care about, unexpected adventures, and I wouldn’t change any of it. Being present for everything and everyone has meant letting other things and people slide until today. This morning I identified three things to accomplish by the end of the day. Just three. No more, no less.
Organize and clear my desk.
Get the mental clutter out of my head and down on paper.
Write a blog post.
With an organized desk, an epic brain dump, and this blog completed, I’m ready for new adventures.
What three things could you accomplish that would set you free for new adventures?
March 3, 2019
Testing The Limits
No is a complete sentence.
Anne Lamott
It seems that we are wired to test the limits. To see how far we can go, discover our capabilities, and challenge ourselves. When pushing ourselves to master a new skill, learn a new language, summit a taller peak, or stay in a difficult conversation, stretching ourselves and pushing past previous boundaries is a necessary part of the growth process.
It also seems that we are wired to test the limits of boundaries not meant to be crossed. To do it our way and others be damned, pushing in where we haven’t been invited, offering unsolicited advice, or to see what we can get away with.
While It’s up to others to respect our boundaries, it is up to us to establish them.
To reflect more, check out an earlier post on boundaries:
March 2, 2019
TMI
Last week I met with my doctor to go over the results of an MRI, ordered to try and determine the cause behind a greater hearing loss in my left ear. The concern when there is a difference in hearing levels between the two ears, which are meant to work in tandem, is the presence of an Acoustic Neuroma, a non-cancerous tumor, that while slow growing, over time can cause serious problems. My doctor was quite certain that I didn’t have one, but offered me the choice to have the scan or not. Wanting the peace of mind that comes from having the necessary information, I opted for the test.
In the exam room, after a warm handshake and a little conversation about our shared love of winter sports, he got right down to it. The images confirmed his suspicion. There was no growth, and in fact nothing of concern, all of which could have been communicated via email or phone. However, apparently there were additional results from the test that someone somewhere in the medical stratosphere deemed necessary to include on the report, and without an explanation, might have sounded serious and scary.
In other words, the report suffered from TMI.
His explanation put my mind at ease, which is what we both wanted out of the MRI in the first place, and while the other results were mildly interesting, it was information that I didn’t really need, but because it was included on the report I got it anyway.
How often do we share information just because we can? Provide too many unnecessary details? Go to great lengths to explain something, instead of getting straight to the point? Use a conversation to demonstrate our knowledge rather than to deepen a connection? Disclose details that aren’t ours to share?
Information may be power, but too much of it can be hard on our hearing.
March 1, 2019
Givers Of Life
Once a month I have a video call with two individuals who are not only respected colleagues, but also dear friends. It is a call that I look forward to from the moment we end our time together until the next one rolls around. The three of us have worked together in various ways over the years, and while we value and respect one another professionally, it is the personal connection that keeps us coming back for more. Together we’ve created a safe space for courageous thinking, a shelter from our storms, and a shared home for our hearts and hurts.
Every call has a way of infusing more life into my being.
Today was supposed to be our monthly call, and as much as I look forward to it, I almost bowed out of it. After a couple of emotionally packed weeks, I simply felt like I didn’t have the capacity to show up as anything but a worn out mess, and taking anything off of my calendar sounded like a good idea. When I mentioned this to my sister who is here visiting, like any good big sister, she had a word of advice. She reminded me of how life-giving this call always is, and thankfully, like any good little sister, I listened to her.
No matter how I show up at the beginning of the call, I am always better at the end of it, and today was no exception.
The moral of the story?
Make time for life-giving connections, and listen to your big sister.
February 28, 2019
The Sweet Sound
For almost everyone I know, this week has been more than a little challenging. As in, nothing, and I mean nothing, has gone according to plan.
In the midst of all of the apples from our upset carts, the challenge has been to find one more note of grace with which to encounter our circumstances and one another. Sometimes we did it well, other times not so much, but in the end, we’ve found our way together to the other side of this week that no one expected. From plummeting temperatures to icy roads, a sudden case of the flu to babies waking up too early, cancelled appointments and long anticipated plans delayed, grace has once again won the day.
Grace…how sweet the sound.
February 27, 2019
Redemption
Redemption is always possible. As long as we draw breath, there remains the opportunity to turn things around, even if only in our own hearts. To do things differently. To be who we want to be in the midst of our circumstances, no matter how fraught or difficult they may be. The ball is always in our court, regardless of what happens on the other side of the net.
Redemption doesn’t always happen the way we hope it will. The other person may not seize the chance to turn things around. They may continue in their same vein, and to chart their same course. The ball is always in their court too. But what they do with it isn’t up to us.
Redemption can still happen even if we are the only ones showing up, and bringing the best of ourselves to the worst of situations. Because when all is said and done, sometimes knowing that we’ve done all we can with what we’ve got to work with is as redemptive as it gets.
Redemption is always possible. Even if we are the only ones being redeemed.
February 26, 2019
February 25, 2019
The Best Laid Plans
First, we were meeting with a vendor to talk about new cabinets for my sister’s house. And then we weren’t.
First, my husband was going to leave today, drop our dog off at the kennel, and be involved in three days of meetings. And then he wasn’t.
First, we were going to meet with the mason at the site where my sister’s house is under construction. And then we weren’t.
First, I was going to a meeting tomorrow. And then I wasn’t.
First, we were going for burgers at our favorite little cafe. And then we weren’t.
Everything had been painstakingly planned out. All the ducks were in nice little rows, and life was nothing if not all neatly buttoned up. And then it wasn’t.
A winter storm changes almost everything.
As I sit here in the car, writing this blog while waiting for our next favorite place to open for our burgers, the snow is falling and I’m reminded once more that we have control of almost nothing. Except our own response to how life unfolds. And maybe where to fine a good burger.
February 24, 2019
The Whispered Invitation
“Allow your intuition to guide you today
and trust that whatever is whispering in your heart
is the right decision.”
This morning I was about to head out to the gym for a quick 30 minutes on the elliptical before getting ready to go into town.
And then I looked out our front window.
Stretching out into the distance was our field, covered in untouched snow, the first light of day spreading across the sky, and more snow quietly falling. The whispered invitation was clear…
Off came the gym shoes.
On went the snowshoes.
The gym will always be there.
The chance for the magic of a solo trek in the snow won’t.
February 23, 2019
The Doctor Is In
When we got Gracie-the-chocolate-labradoodle, little did we know that we were also getting our very own four-legged marriage counselor.
Tom and I have done a lot of work over the course of our 25 year marriage, and have a deep trust in and respect for one another, but somehow Dr. Gracie has a way of showing us that these two old dogs still need to learn some new relationship tricks.
We’ve adopted an approach to raising Gracie that will equip her to have the freedom we want her to enjoy here at home, and out in the big wide world on all of our shared adventures. Just when we think we are on the same page on what that approach means, we learn that we aren’t.
And then we have to talk about it.
Again.
After another conversation to clear the air and our understanding, we’re on a new page together, until we learn that we aren’t.
And then we have to talk about it.
Again.
Our little chocolate girl is helping us to dig a little deeper into our own fears and hurts that have been buried under long ago frozen ground, and bring them to the surface where we can lay them at one another’s feet as food for deeper conversation, leading to deeper understanding, leading to deeper connection.
We’ve got Dr. Gracie, but dog owners or not, we all have people and situations smack dab in the middle of our lives that have to potential to teach us new relationship tricks. While It will probably mean that we will have to dig deeper into our own fears and hurts, Gracie will tell you it’s totally worth it!
