Deby Fredericks's Blog, page 65

Take the Day Off

You will be reading this on the Christian holiday of Christmas. I’m not a believer, myself, but I respect that many of you are. Others may be recognizing Hannukah, Kwanzaa, or any other midwinter-related celebrations. So I’ll spare you my fantastic ramblings for today.

I wish you a peaceful holiday, or just a nice day off, and will visit with you again on Saturday.

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Against the World, Part 3

I hoped by now to have a link for my appearance on Kittywumpus. No such luck. Instead, I’ll continue riffing on how I created Skaythe as an opposite-of-perfect world.

It’s part of the background that most mages are evil. It sounds too easy to just classify a whole group that way. It was important to me that I explain how that is accomplished. And, make no mistake, the mages’ evil is not something they are born with. It is purposely done to them.

First and most important, they are separated from their parents. Some of you may already know, or have figured out, that Skaythe is partly based on the Dragon Age video games. There, the Chantry (church) system takes all mage born children from their families and imprisons them in the towers of the Circle. I don’t know if the game writers themselves realized the extraordinary cruelty of this, and how devastating it would be to mage children.

As humans, our relationship with our parents is at the core of who we are. A loving family teaches children to trust — first their parents, but ultimately themselves. They learn to control their emotions and make sound decisions. Although the relationship becomes more complex as kids get older, they still retain those traits from early years. The best way to create stable citizens of any society is to keep them in their birth families.

I’m not going to go into the contemporary parallel of U.S. immigration officials separating parents from children at the border. Just do some reading on their experiences. My point will come through.

In Skaythe, mage born children are taken from their families and placed in Temple Schools, which double as orphanages and combat academies. Young mages arrive at Temple Schools traumatized and grieving. These children learn that they can never trust adults, or anyone else. They are filled with rage that they can’t control. Their decisions are rash and dangerous.

Then, they are taught to fight for everything from a new blanket to advanced training that will lead to political appointments. They are instructed in the most volatile magical energy, lethentros, which further increases their instability. More than anything else, it is the Temple Schools that turn Skaythe’s mages into the terror and the tragedy that they are.

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Against the World, Part 2

What does it mean if the underlying conflict of your story is “Person vs. the World?” For me as a writer, it has meant fertile territory for storytelling.

After all, “the World” includes a whole lot of ground, metaphorically and literally. The land itself, the climate and animals, the culture(s) dwelling there, individuals within the culture(s) — every piece of “the World” presents a potential for danger to the “Person” they are adversary to.

In thinking of Skaythe, I considered some real-world societies. China uses “social credit” to monitor and manipulate their population. Saudi Arabia harasses political critics by social media. Historic East Germany was a big influence for Skaythe. In East Germany, the secret police blackmailed or otherwise intimidated people to spy on each other on a massive scale. Spouses, parents and children, friends and neighbors, employers and employees — all spied on each other. It was relentless, and it created incredible stress and distrust in the population.

Skaythe is similar to that. Society might be outwardly peaceful, but there are guards everywhere. The official religion demands heavy offerings. The renegades have to be careful where they go and who they talk to. Every person they encounter could be a spy who would call the guards on them. Safe resting places are rare indeed.

This adds an element of danger that goes beyond the typical confrontations in fantasy. And that’s just the way I want it!

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Against the World

As I began working on my Minstrels of Skaythe novellas, one aspect I focused on was the underlying conflicts of this world I was building. Now, I’m sure you all remember how they teach conflict in English classes. Supposedly, there are three basic conflicts in any story. 1) Person vs. Person. 2) Person vs. Nature. 3) Person vs. Themself.

For Minstrels of Skaythe, I was really trying to step up my game, and I wanted to have layers of conflict at play. There are not just human antagonists who stands in the way of my characters. I’ve also had giant animals — badgers in The Tower in the Mist and wasps in Dancer in the Grove of Ghosts — reflecting nature as a foe. And of course my characters question themselves or are tempted in various ways. But that would be true of any story, honestly. A POV character who never got worried would be pretty boring.

More than that, I’ve set forth that Skaythe is a world ruled by dark sorcery. A cruel elite, mages, oppress the common people. This oppression has been so successful and complete that every part of society regards it as right and proper. When my Minstrels do good deeds, they truly are renegades.

So below the “big three” conflicts, I have another: 4) Person vs. the World. I’ll get more into what that entails in my next post, on Wednesday.

Also, I have some exciting news! Last month I submitted an essay about Minstrels of Skaythe to a big-name blogger. I’m thrilled to say that my essay will appear on Cat Rambo’s site, Kittywumpus! That’s scheduled for December 19th, and you can best believe I’ll post a link once it’s live.

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Focus, People. Focus!

My project for late November/early December has been the third draft revisions on The Ice Witch of Fang Marsh. It’s been going well. Currently I’m on page 65 of 90. I’ve only cut about 200 words, but that just means I had my length pretty well sorted out in the second draft.

As I go through these detailed edits, I’m reminded of a lesson I learned some years ago about imagery in storytelling. It’s really important that everything in the story be focused on the core of your story. The verbs you choose, the sensory details, the character dialogue — it all has to support and illustrate that core.

Think of it like lighting the stage for a play. All the spotlights have to point where the action will be. You don’t want them pointing at the stage-left drapery or up into the catwalk (unless something will happen there). Poorly chosen verbs, images, and turns of phrase are like lights that don’t face toward the stage. They may confuse the reader about what is important, or dilute the impact of the theme.

Where this really crystallized for me was when I was asked to help critique for a writing workshop at the last minute. The story was set in Kentucky, in the autumn, near an abandoned coal mine which had become a gate to Hell. The imagery was really nice, with fiery red leaves and ice floating on a pond. I suggested to the writer that he should decide whether he was going to have a hot Hell or a cold Hell. Depending on which one he wanted, he should de-emphasize either the leaves or the icy pond. That way, the images he presented would match the Hell that ultimately appeared in the story.

This, of course, is the sort of detail work that drives us writers insane. But when you can get every word to “focus” on “center stage,” it really does make a difference in the impact of your completed story.

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I Return!

Return from all those blog visits, that is. Self-publishing includes a lot of effort besides the actual writing. Promotion and many other factors are part of it.

Thanks to David, Alden, Charles and Craig for hosting me. Having such great friends really lightens the load.

Now I suppose I’ll have to think of other things to blog about!

Did you know I have an author newsletter? You can get it! I’ll even give you a free e-book for signing up. Just click here.

Blog Visit: Lisa Burton Radio

Tomorrow, December 5th, I’ll be stopping by the blog Entertaining Stories for another turn on Lisa Burton Radio. Author C. S. Boyack hosts these fun “radio shows” where his favorite character, Lisa Burton, interviews characters from other stories.

In my case, Lisa will be chatting with Tisha, one of the two main characters from Dancer in the Grove of Ghosts. Tisha is one of the good guys, unlike Zathi, the character who visited Lisa from The Tower in the Mist. This somewhat balances the scales, and I like that.

But what I’d really like is for you to hop on over this Thursday, December 5th, and join in the fun of the radio show. I’ll be answering everyone’s questions, so I hope to hear from you there.

Did you know I have an author newsletter? You can get it! I’ll even give you a free e-book for signing up. Just click here.

Opening Lines

I mentioned that I’m into revisions on Ice Witch and the first page isn’t quite right. I’d like share the first few lines, so you can see what I’m working with.

On the deck of the trading ship Cross Current, Meven watched the shore of Eshur glide slowly closer. Gulls screeched overhead, perfectly expressing the dread that congealed within her gut.

Some things I like about this: a) It has the character, Meven, so we know right away who the story is about. b) It has a dual setting, on the trading ship, which is approaching a place, Eshur. I always like when one sentence does the job of two. c) It has a nice image, the gulls screeching, that connects to a powerful emotion, dread.

No matter what else goes on in a story, I believe that authors have to bring in an emotion right away. This will draw readers in more than anything else.

Now, things I don’t like: a) That first sentence seems unwieldy. I could make it more direct, “Meven watched the shore… from the deck of the trading ship Cross Current.” b) The final image, dread congealing in her gut, feels awkward. Meven has ice powers that don’t seem to fit with the verb, congeal. Yet I do want a sense of something solidifying and getting heavy as she approaches a place she dreads. I really need to get the right verb there.

Here is the next paragraph. These hast two weeks at sea had been a blessing and a relief. Born on the water, but for years confined to land, she had forgotten so much. The musky tang of salt water, the constant creak of rigging and slap of waves against the hull. The rhythmic dance of herself and the ship upon the tide. Even the way her clothing was always slightly damp and clung to her legs. She hadn’t felt so safe and content since she was a young girl.

Again, some things I like: a) It gives us a time frame for how long she’s been on the ship. b) It expands on the setting with sensory details. c) The sentence “Born on the water but for years confined to land,” tells some of her back story. d) “She hadn’t felt so safe since she was a young girl” gives more back story while also hinting at her goal, which is to live on or near water.

What I don’t like: a) The sensory details are great, but there are too many of them. Three details would have a better rhythm. b) The first two sentences connect awkwardly. My words need to flow like water (ha ha) and carry the reader along.

Some of you are new writers, and I wanted to share a bit of this process with you so that you’ll know you aren’t alone in trying to make it all fit together. For those of you more experience writers, I could use a few suggestions about that pesky verb in the first paragraph.

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Holiday Break

This weekend is a certain major holiday in the U. S. A. I’ll be chilling out with family, and I hope you all can, too. There’s a bit of suspense about when my actual family meal will be this year. Our daughter works Thursday and Friday, while my husband works Friday. I’m sure we’ll “work” it out, ha ha.

Meanwhile, I’ve finished all the blog visits I had arranged for Dancer in the Grove of Ghosts. I’m still open to appearing other places, of course, so recommendations are welcome.

Between days off work for the holiday and having no urgent posts to write, I am free to begin revisions on The Ice Witch of Fang Marsh. I’ve made most of the major decisions as far as plot and outcomes. However, the beginning needs work and there is much polishing to be done. This should keep me occupied for a week or two.

I hope you all have pleasant holidays, too.

Did you know I have an author newsletter? You can get it! I’ll even give you a free e-book for signing up. Just click here.

Blog Visit: Loveshade Family

My sojourn today is with Alden Loveshade of the Loveshade Family Blog. Our topic is “What if the Good Guys Won?”

For those who have read my Skaythe novellas, you know that part of the setting’s history is that the evil wizard Dar-Gothull succeeded in taking over the world. My characters try to resist his regime without resorting to his own weapons of terror and violence.

I hope you’ll come join the discussion at Loveshade Family Blog.

Did you know I have an author newsletter? You can get it! I’ll even give you a free e-book for signing up. Just click here.