H.M. Shander's Blog, page 9

Shander's Shenanigan's: A Week in Review October 23 - 29

Another week has passed by, another week to be thankful for all my blessings.

Things I'm grateful: (in no particular order)


My "nephew" coming for supper. He was once a baby that I took care off (along with his older siblings). For the first seven years of his life, I was a daily fixture in it. We did everything together, and he even attended the school I taught at, until I had my own children. He's like a big brother to my kids, and the fun reaches stratospheric heights when we're all together. I love it - and love him. I affectionately call him my 'first son'. It's easier than the-boy-i-used-to-take-care-of. ;) Hubs taking a day off. He took a weekday off, and after I attended to some 'at home' work, we had a nice leisurely lunch at an "adults" restaurant. We spent the child-free day together and reconnected. It was nice and unexpected, as he didn't make the decision until Thursday night. 
For a working vacuum. Sounds crazy, but without one, I was a little off. I pride myself on a neat and tidy house, and without it and knowing I was having company, it bothered me. However, hubs brought it home from the repair shop and I cleaned like a crazy person. :) For the flying lights in Hawrelak Park. Not sure what the event was, or any of the reasoning for it (I posted a query on Twitter but got no response), but it was beautiful to watch. To see the paper lanterns - or whatever they were - rise into the air truly was mesmerizing. The picture doesn't do it justice.  I'm thankful my introvert of a son had a friend over for supper. It was neat to meet him, and engage with him, and see how well the two of them get along. I'm thankful my son has such a good friend in this young man. :) As always, thanks for reading! Keep smiling and looking for rainbows after the storm. 

That Summer - A Duly Noted Novella

Hello Everyone!

I'm nearly through with edits on That Summer - the novella that takes place during the summer of Duly Noted. A lot of people have wrote to me and asked, "What exactly happened during those few weeks?"

Well, the answer is coming soon.
The first to find out are my beta readers - those who will read the story and give solid feedback on the storyline - and so far the results are highly positive.

ARCs - advance reader copies - will be going out soon. These are copies given to select readers to read within a very short time (ie 2-3 weeks tops). They may still have grammatical errors so if anyone reads (and reviews) they shouldn't mention the errors. ;) If you would like to have an ARC copy sent to you, please message me, or comment on this blog. I'll be sure to contact you when the ARCs are ready.

Thanks for following along!

Shander Shenanigans: A Week in Review October 16 - 22

It's been quite a week. :)

The five things I'm thankful for, in no particular order, are: 
My Critique Partner. She's going through That Summer with a fine tooth comb, and I can't be more excited. She's wickedly awesome, thorough and picks apart scenes letter by letter. I get so excited for her emails & tweets, wondering what she's gong to say next. No matter how tough she is, I know it comes from the heart. She's not doing it to be mean, she's doing it to make my story the best it can be. AND, she's available to edit your novel.

My local library. We're regulars at our local branch. We're there every two weeks at minimum for a program they run - Evil Genius Club. The librarians know my kids (they're usually the only ones at the programs) and they know me. Because of the strong connection I have with one of them, she asked me if I wanted to join their upcoming book club (umm, yeah!). She mentioned it would likely be just her and I, but I may be able to rope in a friend or two. Can't wait to read the book.

For clear skies on Saturday night. For once the skies were forecasted to be clear - which was a total bust last weekend when we went to Jasper for their Dark Skies Festival. We loaded the telescope, blankets, chairs and warm drinks, and headed west to the BlackFoot Staging Area, one of our favourite places to kick back and star gaze. Last night we got to see Pluto, the Dumbbell Nebula, the Ring Nebula, the Andromeda Galaxy more. So beautiful, so serene. It was nice to put down the electronic devices and look up. ;)


My job. To say I am blessed with the perfect job, is an understatement. I love my job, I love 99% of the people I work with, I love the children I help encourage to read. My boss(es) are so flexible, and allow me to run out in the middle of a shift to pick up my oldest from his school and bring him back to work with me. On top of it, I get paid to do this. To help kids find something new to read. To encourage kids to try a book they would've never thought they'd like, and to find out they LOVE it. Plus, I'm now in charge of ordering, and this is thrilling. I get to spend a lot of money buying books. Seriously - AWESOME.


Brunch with my parents. Not sure when it started but sometime after I moved out, my parents and I started meeting for either supper or brunch on Sundays. It's still a tradition now, 20+ years after leaving home, and one I look forward to. It's expanded to include my sibling, our spouses and children. If I don't meet them at some point on Sunday, my week feels ... off. Its our chance to get together, unwind, laugh, discuss politics, and most importantly connect.

For all this, I am thankful.
Thank you - dear reader - for continuing to read. 

Shander's Shenanigans: A Week in Review October 9 - 15

Another crazy busy week, but also loaded with lots of fun. Why not? If life's not fun, then it's time to find out what makes you happy.

Five things I'm grateful for this week:

1 - A trip to the mountains. To be within a four hour drive of something so picturesque. We spent some time walking around Pyramid Lake Island (and if any of you follow Amazing Race Canada, it was a check-in spot on the first or second leg). Here is a pic I took of the bridge that takes you to the island. The skies were broken cloud, but the lake was calm. Reflective even.

2 - Good friends to travel with. I spent the weekend surrounded with males (hubs, kids, and another couple) and never felt safer. :) Our friends are fun, and we're very like minded, so it makes hanging out easy and relaxing. 
3 - Seeing Bill Nye. We travelled to Jasper, and got to spend a couple of hours listening to Bill Nye and his brand of comedy. Although his talk of choice was to focus on Global Warming and was a little over my kid'd head, the way he told his stories was interesting enough to keep my kids captive for the nearly two hour show. 
4 - Big fat, fluffy snowflakes. There is something awe-inspiring about sitting in a hot tub surrounded by mountains, breathing in the fresh air, as the big, fluffy snowflakes swirl around you. It's magical and wonderful. And I'm glad it happened after we'd parked our vehicle for the night.

5 - The way my kids love each other. They're your typical boys with markedly different personalities, who squabble daily over little things. But every once in a while, they melt my heart. A snuggle with each other as they watch something they have in common - a deep love of science. Aww.

Thanks for reading! What are five things you're grateful for this week?

Shander's Shenanigans: My Week in Review October 2 - 8

My Week in Review: October 2 - 8, 2016
Two exciting things happened this week.

My birthday was on Thursday. I won't tell you how old I am except to say I'm now using the term 30 something. I won't tell you what the something is in numbers, as I hate the number I'm at. 
My birthday is always been bittersweet. Five years ago I buried my best friend on it. Losing her has been one of the hardest things I've had to deal with. There are still things that surface that slap me across the face, and knock the wind out of my sails. Time has healed the rip in my heart, but there is still a huge scar.
So for that reason, I don't really celebrate it. And that's okay. I'll see my parents, get lots of text/email/FB/twitter messages (for which I'm very grateful), but I don't celebrate it with a huge party. Not my thing. I'm more of a small gathering, intimate kind of gal. :)



Another exciting thing happened this week.

I finished writing That Summer. This is the expanded portion (aka a novella of 30,000 words) of Duly Noted readers will want to read. A story of love and courage, but most importantly, the beautiful story between two lost souls.

For now, this is the working blurb:

All Aurora wants is a happy-ever-after with Nate.

But a teeny-tiny problem stands in her way. She’s terrified of vehicles, and fights daily with staying clean from a prescription drug abuse problem. Plus, her and Nate broke up. Upon learning of his planned retirement, she believes it’s all because of her.  

Nate can’t leave his love for her, and she’s refuses to let it happen. She needs to conquer her fears, and push herself harder than ever before. In order to succeed, she needs to believe in herself. Of her body and her mind. It’s a scary battle between determination and terror. And she has nine weeks.Stepping out of her comfort zone, she enlists help from the one man she trusts implicitly.  

Lucas is a race car driver, her best friend and Nate’s younger brother. Drill Sargent, cheerleader, and shoulder to cry on, he wants nothing more than to watch her succeed. However strong emotions surface during training sessions that scare Aurora and threaten her friendship with Lucas.  Is it too much? How will she beat her darkest fears and get her happy ever after?

What do you think?

Also, in writing That Summer the main character needs to write down the things that make her happy. I thought, this should be something I should do, and being that today is Thanksgiving, what better time to start. Each week I'm going to list 5 things I'm happy for. This week's is easy...

My familyMy friendsMy jobsThe roof over my headThe clothes on my backWhat things are you thankful for? 

It's Their Song

Tonight I listened to Garth Brook's When You Come Back to Me Again to drown out the horror of Stranger Things my hubs watched on Netflix (it's too scary for me to even try to tune out, I need earphones and loud music). Anyways, one of my favourites come on, and I instantly flash to my two main characters Nate & Aurora, from Duly Noted.

For anyone who's read the book, they may agree that this song with it's lyrics is perfect.
It's their love song:

There’s a ship out on the ocean,
At the mercy of the sea.
It’s been tossed about,
Lost and broken,
Wandering aimlessly.
And God somehow you know,
That ship is me.

‘Cause there’s a lighthouse,
In a harbor,
Shining faithfully.
Pouring its light out,
Across the water.
For this sinking soul to see,
That someone out there still believes in me.

On a prayer,
In a song,
I hear your voice,
And it keeps me hanging on.
Oh, raining down, against the wind.
I’m reaching out,
‘Till we reach the circle’s end.
When you come back to me again.

There’s a moment,
We all come to.
In our own time and in our own space.
Where all that we’ve done,
We can undo,
If our hearts’ in the right place.

On a prayer,
In a song,
I hear your voice,
And it keeps me hanging on.
Oh, raining down, against the wind.
I’m reaching out,
‘Till we reach the circle’s end.
And you come back to me again.

And again I see,
My yesterday’s in front of me,
Unfolding like a mystery.
You’re changing all that is and used to be.

On a prayer,
In a song,
I hear your voice,
And it keeps me hanging on.
Oh, raining down, against the wind.
I’m reaching out,
‘Till we reach the circle’s end.
When you come back to me again.

When you come back to me again.

A VBAC birth story

I was designed and destined to be a mom, and had known from a very early age that that was my purpose in life. I even used to watch an old Access TV program on VBAC births. Who knew I would need to recall that info years later with my second child?
Although it took years (and that's another blog post in itself) my first pregnancy was perfect. I had nothing to complain about, and just adored being pregnant and feeling this beautiful life grow within me. I had waited many years for this, and was taking the pregnancy day by day, enjoying each new milestone. I loved being pregnant! 
I wasn’t even upset by the fact that I was well overdue until my niece was born (who was supposed to be born after my child). Holding her, I desperately wanted to be holding my precious baby. Sure enough the next day I went into labour. :) 
No prenatal class, no book, no TV show prepared me for what I was about to go through. I had intense back labour that went on for hours. I finally agreed 38 hours into my labour for an epidural. Five hours after that procedure, having made little progress, the on-call OB thought it best to break my water. She was very concerned when along with the water, came a lot of blood, and lots of clots. I remember her rushing around telling the staff in the room that she was prepping the OR and would see us in there immediately. 
In the NICU, away from his mommy, already cleaned up.
My husband and I were suddenly terrified that we were losing our child, and I tearfully remember telling the neonatologist that had been paged to the OR to please make sure my baby would be okay. Five minutes after being wheeled into the OR, and after 43 exhausting hours of labour, my baby boy was born. It turned out that my placenta had started separating “some time ago” as there was plenty of old, dark blood and clots. It was roughly 90% detached at birth. We very very nearly lost our child. Although the c-section was traumatic, it was also life saving. I am VERY thankful to the staff for saving my baby’s life.
That being said, I missed out on a lot of bonding time in the immediate post-partum as I was in recovery and my newborn was being treated in the NICU. I didn’t get to hold him until he was over two hours old (and only for the fastest three minutes of my life), and he was not brought into my room until he was nearly six hours old. His first bath was done without me. Breastfeeding was a nightmare, but we made it through that.  
I repeat - although I am extremely grateful for his life -  I felt robbed of a great birthing experience and mourned over this. Comments like “Be thankful that he is here, and healthy” only made me feel shame, because I was thankful for all of that but I felt something was missing. Who wouldn't be happy that they were finally holding their baby? So I had a bit to process after that, and vowed the next time (if I was lucky enough for a next time), I would birth differently.
My second pregnancy was actually a bit of a surprise. We had been trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant with fertility drugs and had an appt with the fertility clinic booked a couple of months away. We were not on any drugs when I started feeling different. A quick test shockingly (but very pleasantly happy) confirmed we were pregnant!

This pregnancy was vastly different to my first. I was sick and nauseous for the first few months, having a huge aversion to red meat. I was more tired than with my first (but I was chasing a two year old), and had the worst sciatica pains. But somehow, through it all, I knew this birth would be different, just as the pregnancy was turning out to be. I read, watched and partook in anything VBAC related. I refused to book my section, and actually looked for other OB’s when it was pushed aggressively.
The placental abruption with my first birth had sealed my fate – because I had no known risk factors and it was a first birth, my second birth had to be in a hospital, where I would be more closely monitored. I did not argue that, as I had done my research and knew, for baby and I, that was the safest option. If it were to happen again, I would be mere minutes from an OR.
My second labour proved to be different in many ways. For example, we hired a doula and she helped us more than she will ever know. We educated ourselves about everything VBAC related. We knew the risks of a VBAC, we knew the positives and negatives of each procedure, we were prepared. 

Hard & activelabour started at 4pm, two weeks ahead of my due date. The labour was not without work and tears. Again, I had an epidural, but was at 6 cms this time, not 4 cms like my first birth. I knew this (getting an early epidural) could set me up for the repeat section I did not want. I talked to my unborn child and I prayed for peace with my decision. 
My water broke (clear, blood and clot free) sixteen hours later during an internal that also told me I was fully dilated - something I'd never achieved with my first. That was one of the best moments of my life! Even though the OB standing in front of me told me she'd need to prep the OR as my baby had not yet engaged and was floating at a -2 station. Thankfully, the best nurse ever stood up to the doc and suggested I try a practice push to see if I could get my baby to a 0 station (engaged). I did, and probably had the smuggest little smile on my face afterwards. I was going to do it.

Labour was nothing compared to pushing, IMO. But at least I actively doing something rather than just getting through the contractions. I pushed hard for about 2 hours, but was worth it when I looked down and saw my posterior son, not yet fully born, looking at me! (in a 'normal" birth they should be looking towards the backside of their momma's thighs).

My baby boy slid out of me (and into my waiting hands). I got to see him take that first breath and I could watch him cry. The OB placed him on my chest and told me the odds were 10% to do what I just did. But I never cared about the odds, however I got my dream birth. I wiped vernix from my baby’s face, I kissed his head, I breathed in his newborn smell and checked over every square inch of him. My beautiful VBAC baby, seconds old.I felt that I had won the war, but without an additional 15cm scar I already bore from the first battle. My beautiful son nursed within 30 minutes of birth and it was pure euphoria in the room.
Looking back upon these two remarkably different births, I have asked myself (and have been asked) if there was anything I would’ve done differently. The short answer is no. The harder you have to work for something, the sweeter the reward. The outcome was the same (healthy babies), but the paths were so different. Everything I missed out with my first birth, I made up for with my second. 

Not long after his birth, I set out to become a birth doula and a childbirth educator, a highly rewarding 'job'. :) 

Dark Skies Viewing Etiquette

Our family loves to star gaze as we've been doing it for years. We're quite knowledgeable in our space sciences information, as are our children. Because we've gone out to dark sky sites, we know the rules or proper etiquette of going to these places. After last night's Meteor Shower watching, I think most do not. While it's FANTASTIC that so many want to watch in something so spectacular, a little courtesy goes a long, long ways. Trust me on this - I heard many grumblings from the people present about the lack of respect.

It's very disruptive to your vision to finally get it adapted to the dark (as it can take upwards of an hour to truly adapt) only for someone else to drive into the viewing area - headlights shining all over.

Before I begin, here's a fantastic blog on why red lights are preferred over white. It's not to be mean or difficult, there really is a reason why the white lights are harsh.



When you arrive, it's considered proper etiquette to dim all exterior lights on your vehicle. Obviously it's illegal to drive w/o headlights, so it's up to you how you deal with this. However, be considerate to the amount of time you are driving around the area looking for a parking spot - the people who were there before you already had adapted their eyes to the dark. Your headlights disrupt this for them. Some may even be taking night photography, and your headlights flood (and ruin) their pictures many of which are long exposure.

Please disable all interior lights - this is as simple as removing the right fuses. It's quite bothersome to have someone open their vehicle doors/trunk and have those white lights flood the area. We're out in the dark, and the white lights undo the adaptation our eyes have done in the dark. If you are unable to remove the fuses, simply letting people know by saying "white light" allows those to cover their eyes. And please be respectful of the time you have your white light going. ;)

Flashlights are a no-no. Yes, I know you need to see in the dark, but again the white light from the flashlights are hard on the dark adapted eyes. Consider wrapping your light with red fabric and an elastic band. It doesn't take long for your eyes to adapt to the red light and you'll be able to see just fine.

No flash photography. If you've read this far, this should be self-explanatory. ;)

As you depart, give a quick honk (before your start your vehicle)  to allow everyone still remaining to cover their eyes, and/or stop photographing the night sky.

A little courtesy really does go a long ways. Everyone is there to enjoy the beauty of the night sky, so let's not ruin this enjoyment.
Bring a comfortable chair, a blanket and a positive attitude. Star gazing is a wonderful thing to do with everyone in the family.


For further information:
Edmonton RASC (Royal Astronomical Society of Canada)
A list of Alberta Dark-Sky Sites
Telus World of Science Observatory

Painting T-shirts

 Every summer, my boys and I paint on t-shirts. A relatively cheap and fun activity with long-lasting results. Each year seems to have a theme. One year it was minions, then Harry Potter, then Minecraft. This year - no surprise - is pokemon. My kids still wear their shirts from 3 years ago. I blogged about it here.

First, well before summer, I watch Michael's for t-shirt sales (I find they're a very durable shirt and can handle MANY washes). I can usually snag shirts 2 for $7, but sometimes I get lucky and can get them 2 for $6, but that's a rarity. Then I buy fabric paint (again at Micheals) and use the 40% off coupon to apply to a set of paints. I have been known to get coupons and cash and a different paint set to send with my kids through the cashier. ;) Whatever works.

When we have decided what our theme is, I will either print out a coloring book style picture or a regular picture and freehand draw it.
I tape it to a window with the picture underneath the front. This allows me to better see the outline. I trace the outline using a pencil (DO NOT USE A SHARPIE*) This is a bit time consuming, but trust me, it's easier.
I will thinly outline the pencil drawing with black fabric paint - just to make it real easy for my kids to paint. After a couple of drying, I hand over paintbrushes to the kids.
When they are done (and it's dry), I go over it with a thicker black line to make the design pop.
Voila - a unique-ish t-shirt that cost less than $5 (as the fabric paint spreads nicely, and you don't use much).
* I used a sharpie once to save a step and it wrecked the shirt when it went through the wash as the black marker went everywhere, and we needed to start all over. Lesson learned. Pencil washes off nicely.

Materials

T-shirt in any color (the darker it is, the harder to see the picture underneath)Picture of whatever you desire on shirtFabric paintsPaintbrushesPencilPatience and timeInstructionsPrint out pictureHang on window to see picture underneath front of shirtPencil trace onto shirtOutline with thin black paint (if desired)Paint - the thicker the paint, the longer it takes to dryOutline in black to make design pop (if desired)
This shirt, we did for a special occasion. Our family is big into watching our friends race at the nearby racetrack. We've made a stock car onto a shirt, but this year my youngest child wanted an IMCA car. There are no colouring sheets for that. Trust me I looked. ;) So I needed to print out a pic we took, and attempt to draw it freehand before doing all the above steps. I think we succeeded. The racer was totally surprised when we showed him, and even autographed the shirt (which I went over in black fabric paint). :) 
Making these shirts is so much fun, and I love doing these with my kids. Always fond memories to look back on. 

Ask Me Again - Read and Review Request

Hello!

I'm looking for ten readers of Contemporary Women's Fiction & Romance to read and review my second novel - Ask Me Again for free. 

Blurb:
After years of walking on eggshells and feeling trapped in her unhappy marriage, 30-something year old Charlotte feels alone and unwanted. She longs for a time when she was happy and truly loved. When her world is turned upside down by a broken waterline, the true loneliness of her life becomes overwhelming. How did she end up here?

Andrew is a good-looking, Russian man with the heart of gold and the ability to make Charlotte’s heart come alive after years of it slowly tapping along. When he shows up on her doorstep as the Project Manager in charge of repairing her flooded home, it seems she will have to fight hard against her feelings. She’s married and he’s engaged, but they have a history as passionate lovers.

It’s been more than 13 years since Andrew and Charlotte broke up, but that doesn’t mean the past is forgotten. The more time they spend together repairing the house, the harder it becomes to resist their intoxicating chemistry.

Through death, lies and betrayals, Charlotte leans on Andrew, finding solace in the fact that she never needs to hide herself from him. When a huge loss pushes her to the edge and makes her question everything, she has to decide if she should stay in the life she’s created and make the best of it, or risk it all for a second chance at true happiness. 

Deal:
I will provide you a free copy of my book via smashwords. There you can download any format you require - for your kobo, kindle, phone...

All I ask of you is to read and review (on Smashwords, Goodreads and Amazon) before September 15th as I'm preparing for a big bash for it's one year birthday on October 18th. Please keep all reviews positive and spoiler free.

If interested, please email me or comment below and please include a link to your goodreads account. Thanks for your interest. :)