H.A. Larson's Blog, page 36

Moving on from the Past

Do you ever think about something that happened in the past? Do you get lost in a moment in time that you can never get back? I know I have, and there are plenty of other people who have as well. Most of the time, these things are nothing more than memories we can look back on, a recollection of the past. Sometimes though, we can get stuck in the past and keep reliving it constantly. Whether they're good or bad memories, being stuck in the past can be a real burden.

I had a friend once who constantly talked about her life growing up. She never talked about anything in the present or her plans for the future, just a constant litany of tales from the past. At first, it was interesting to hear her stories, but after a few years of hearing the same stories over and over again, it got old and tiresome. It was obvious to me, then, that she was living in a period of time that was long over. While I never begrudged her - or anyone else - for her good memories, there comes a point when one needs to quit focusing on the past and concentrate on the present and the future.

Now, I can't talk about this issue without putting myself in the hot seat. I often think about the past too but from a different perspective. For me, I look at my past as a series of missed opportunities and bad decisions. Because of this, I lament the time I feel I've lost to the past and often wish I could go back in time and do things differently.

While my foray into the past looks different than my former friend's, it's just as unproductive. There is nothing to be gained from either of our reflections and honestly just holds us back. What I mean is that instead of smiling at a good memory or learning from past mistakes, we live squarely in a period of time that is over and one that cannot be changed. What's done is done and it's time to move on.

I've done a lot better about living and being in my present, but I still struggle at times - especially when times are tough - to not get caught up in what has already passed. It is during these times that I have to remind myself to not dwell in the past and to focus on the future. Oftentimes, that's usually the catalyst I need to bring myself back to the present. It's the future that I need to focus on anyway, more so than my past. The future is where I can make better decisions and take advantage of all my opportunities.

I need to also stay focused on the here and now as well. I mean, the present is happening as we speak, right? The present is the bridge between the past and the future, but it's also the future we've caught up with. When I think about it, I'm already well on my way to changing how I lived in the past and my future looks pretty bright from where I'm standing.

I will live today in the present. How about you?

What's Going on, Spring?

What Spring should look like right now, but woefully doesn't.
Spring officially began - in the Northern Hemisphere - on March 20, the Spring Equinox. Typically, at least where I live, that means the temperatures start to warm up, the trees start to bud, it starts to rain frequently, and you might (might!) get one more snowstorm before April arrives. It also means you can start wearing lighter jackets and short-sleeved shirts. 
This Spring, however, has proven to be...shall I say, drunk? Yes, that's right. Go home Spring, you are drunk! Spring has heralded some of the aforementioned kind of days but has also peppered those days with straight-up Winter weather. It's confusing, and not just for us, the birds are also wondering what the hell is going on. Just look at this forecast for the month.


Make up your mind, Spring.
Today is April 14th, but you'd never be able to tell by looking outside. As you can see from the above photo, we had warm 70-degree weather on Wednesday, Thursday, and yesterday (the photo shows 69 degrees, but it actually got up to 71 degrees). Now, look at today. See that 37 degrees with snowflakes coming out of the clouds? That's right, while it's raining right now, we're in the middle of a snow storm watch, with 80% chance of snow. I'm in Eastern Nebraska, but out in Western Nebraska, they started getting the white stuff yesterday. So while we were wearing shorts and sandals yesterday (no lie), out West they were definitely not.


Winter, you scoundrel.
See this picture? You'd think this was taken during Winter (ahem), but alas, it was taken in Western Nebraska this morning by a Facebook friend. This morning! And, it's heading our way. Ugh, I'm so over Winter.


What Spring is supposed to look like.
This photo, I took last week on the 5th. As you can see from the weather calendar above, it was 58 degrees that day and partly cloudy. The kids and I took advantage of the warm spring day to take a hike out at Hitchcock Nature Center, and it was beautiful! The last three days I wore my summer work clothes and shorts at home. 
Glancing at the weather calendar, it seems we should finally start seeing decent days by the end of the month, but it's just taking a frustratingly long time. Come back, Spring, we miss you! I promise never to complain about Winter not arriving ever again.

What's Going on Spring?

What Spring should look like right now, but woefully doesn't.
Spring officially began - in the Northern Hemisphere - on March 20, the Spring Equinox. Typically, at least where I live, that means the temperatures start to warm up, the trees start to bud, it starts to rain frequently, and you might (might!) get one more snowstorm before April arrives. It also means you can start wearing lighter jackets and short-sleeved shirts. 
This Spring, however, has proven to be...shall I say, drunk? Yes, that's right. Go home Spring, you are drunk! Spring has heralded some of the aforementioned kind of days but has also peppered those days with straight-up Winter weather. It's confusing, and not just for us, the birds are also wondering what the hell is going on. Just look at this forecast for the month.


Make up your mind, Spring.
Today is April 14th, but you'd never be able to tell by looking outside. As you can see from the above photo, we had warm 70-degree weather on Wednesday, Thursday, and yesterday (the photo shows 69 degrees, but it actually got up to 71 degrees). Now, look at today. See that 37 degrees with snowflakes coming out of the clouds? That's right, while it's raining right now, we're in the middle of a snow storm watch, with 80% chance of snow. I'm in Eastern Nebraska, but out in Western Nebraska, they started getting the white stuff yesterday. So while we were wearing shorts and sandals yesterday (no lie), out West they were definitely not.


Winter, you scoundrel.
See this picture? You'd think this was taken during Winter (ahem), but alas, it was taken in Western Nebraska this morning by a Facebook friend. This morning! And, it's heading our way. Ugh, I'm so over Winter.


What Spring is supposed to look like.
This photo, I took last week on the 5th. As you can see from the weather calendar above, it was 58 degrees that day and partly cloudy. The kids and I took advantage of the warm spring day to take a hike out at Hitchcock Nature Center, and it was beautiful! The last three days I wore my summer work clothes and shorts at home. 
Glancing at the weather calendar, it seems we should finally start seeing decent days by the end of the month, but it's just taking a frustratingly long time. Come back, Spring, we miss you! I promise never to complain about Winter not arriving ever again.

Recipe of the Week: Creamy Mushroom Soup

I always like to have a nice supply of fruits and vegetables on hand and the last time I went to the store, I decided I wanted to make a few dishes with mushrooms. I've been craving them and thought maybe I should try cooking with them a bit more. I've been making a conscious effort to reduce the number of carbs I eat (I am a toast FANATIC), so when I saw a recipe for creamy mushroom soup that doesn't require flour, beans, or dairy, I thought I'd try making my own version.



The secret to making the cream in this recipe is cauliflower. Yep, good old cauliflower. The cauliflower is cooked soft and blended to make a "cream". I love this soup and I'll definitely be making it again. It's easy to make, vegan, delicious, and low-carb...how can you go wrong? I served it with a simple salad on the side, but a nice piece of crusty bread would go perfect as well. Mmmm. 



Creamy Mushroom Soup

Ingredients:
8 ounces white button mushrooms, sliced1/3 cup olive oil (If you're eating a lower-fat diet, drop this down to 1 T.)1 head of cauliflower, cut up into chunks4 cups vegetable stock1/4 cup coconut flour*2 cups water2 T nutritional yeast (can omit)1 tablespoon red pepper flakes or 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional)1 teaspoon each: Old Bay seasoning (optional), garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, and turmeric2 teaspoons each Italian seasoning and ground pepper2 teaspoons hot Madras curry or regular curry**1 can coconut milksalt to taste***

Instructions:
1. In a dutch oven - or any pot good for making soup - heat the olive oil over medium-high until it ripples.
2. Add the mushrooms and sautee until brown and soft. Remove mushrooms from the pan into a bowl.
3. Put the pan back on the stove and add the vegetable stock and cauliflower. Cook until cauliflower is soft, then remove from heat and allow to cool for 15 minutes.
4. When the cauliflower is cool, add a third of the mushrooms, the cauliflower, the vegetable stock, and all the rest of the ingredients except for the coconut milk & salt, into a blender. Blend until smooth. You will see little brown flecks from the mushrooms. 
5. Turn your stovetop back on, this time over medium heat. 
6. Dump the contents of the blender and the remaining two-thirds sauteed mushrooms back into the pot and put onto the stovetop.
7. When the soup starts to gently bubble, add the coconut milk and stir thoroughly.
8. Heat through again until warm and serve.


Notes:
* You can use any flour here, I just like to use coconut flour because it complements the coconut milk & is low-carb, but using chickpea flour or regular flour will work fine. The blender does all the mixing so no need to worry about lumps. You can even omit the flour if you prefer, but it helps give it just a bit thicker of a consistency.
**  I find the curry complements the soup. While I added hot Madras curry, you could use mild or skip this! There's a ton of curry blends out there, and you could add any you'd like.
*** I don't like to add salt as the vegetable stock adds plenty. I try to watch how much sodium I'm eating, but you can definitely add a teaspoon at the very end or salt your own serving to taste. No judgment here!

Enjoy!

Forest Lawn Cemetery

Spring just doesn't seem to want to arrive this year, and I've found myself moping around the house more days than I should. Easter Sunday was one of those days, so even though it was a breezy, but sunny, 28 degrees I was determined to get out of the house. Since taking photos is an amateur hobby of mine, I grabbed my family, my camera, and explored a handful of places in the metro area that I like. 
After we were done, we headed home on a familiar path: Mormon Bridge Road. One landmark on that road is Forest Lawn Cemetery. I've driven by it a bunch of times but have never gone inside. The only things I knew about it were that it was huge, that it was a place where prominent people of Omaha are buried, and that the historic chapel is haunted. I made a split-second decision right after we passed it that day to turn around and finally go inside to check it out. I'm glad I did because it is such an interesting place! It's a gorgeous cemetery with some incredible mausoleums and grave markers. It's also well-maintained, unlike Prospect Hill Cemetery 


Exquisite plot marker for John R. Lauritzen family.
This plot marker for John and Elizabeth Lauritzen is a nod to Greek architecture. John Lauritzen was the founder of Lauritzen Corporation, a bank holding company that has a large stake in First National Bank. He and his wife were philanthropists as well, and Lauritzen Gardens are named after him. 


Three mausoleums near Lauritzen. 
The first two mausoleums are, from left to right:
1. Dr. C.C Criss: founder of Mutual of Omaha and the namesake of the Criss Library on the UNO campus.2. The Landen Family: Clarence Sr. and Clarence Jr. started Central Insurance Co. and, later, Jr. would go on to form Security National Bank.



This is the grave of Charles Harper and his wife, Joan. Mr. Harper was the CEO of ConAgra Foods, maker of HealthyChoice, Hunt's, Ro-Tel, P.F. Chang's, and countless others.



This is the grave of W. Clarke Swanson, President of Butternut Coffee and Director of Campbell Soup. His name graces one of the city's libraries. His father, Carl A. Swanson, started Swanson foods (remember old t.v. dinners?), and he's the namesake for Nature Girl's school.



This is one of the most famous graves in Forest Lawn Cemetery, primarily for its interesting bronze statue. Josiah Wasserburger was the manager of the Omaha Loan Company who also invested heavily in real estate and made quite a bit of money. He and his wife, Alma, purchased this grave marker eighteen years before their death (and during the Depression no less) from J.F. Bloom & Co. The monument had sat, unpurchased, for five years until the Wasserburgers bought it, and it cost roughly $60,000.00 in today's money. 



A closer look at the bronze statue.



This is the burial site of John G. Jacobs. He died young, at age 26, and I could only find information on him by searching for the other occupants of the mausoleum, namely Lillian Maul. Lillian Maul had donated land to the University of Nebraska-Omaha (where I work coincidentally enough) in honor of John G. Jacobs, who was her son. A gym was built on the site but was demolished in 1964.



This is the entrance to the historic Forest Lawn Chapel. Funerals and even weddings have been held here for decades. A new chapel was built in 2014, but people can still use this chapel if they want. The old crematorium is under the chapel, to the right of here, but is no longer operational as the new one is hidden across the road. This Chapel is purported to be haunted - indeed I have read some accounts of investigations that have been held there - so I did a quick, impromptu EVP session, but I didn't get anything.



A view of the side of the Chapel, opposite side of the old crematorium.




This mausoleum is unmarked but it sits within Babyland, one of a couple of sections where babies are buried.




Here's a detailed map of Babyland. The mausoleum (I think) is the black box shown at the end of the lane.




This section of the cemetery is dedicated to soldiers. This statue sits in the middle of a ring of soldiers graves and is surrounded by four fake cannons. 



This Celtic cross monument marks a burial plot for the Redick Family. John I. Redick (D.O.D. April 2, 1906) was a prominent lawyer (once working for Union Pacific Railroad) and judge. He was the Chairman of the Nebraska Republican Delegation that nominated Abraham Lincoln and Andrew Johnson. A street in North Omaha is named after him.



An old abandoned house at the blocked-off back entrance to the cemetery. I believe it wasn't originally a part of the cemetery as it's not on any of their old maps, but I can't find any more information about it. If you know, feel free to comment.



As we were driving out of the cemetery, we came upon a mausoleum with glass doors. The glass doors and the sun afforded us a glimpse of a beautiful stained-glass window in the back, so I stopped to get a picture of it. This mausoleum is the resting place of Joseph Cullen Root, founder of Woodmen of the World. If you've ever been to Omaha, you would surely have seen the two large buildings that dominate its skyline: First National Tower and Woodmen Tower.




A map of the cemetery from its website. 

Going to Forest Lawn Cemetery was a memorable experience, and I'm looking forward to going back to visit and definitely to conduct a more proper EVP session. I'll keep you posted on that. For now, enjoy your weekend!

The Ponca Hills

I talk about my love of the Iowa Mountains - aka the Loess Hills - often, but I don't talk about my other love: the Hills - aka the Ponca Hills. Sure, to be honest, I've talked about the places I go within the Ponca Hills many times, but not the Hills themselves. That ends today.

I've walked this path towards the forest in Neale Woods hundreds of times.
Let's start with the most familiar place in the Hills that I haunt: Neale Woods. Neale Woods is my favorite place to take a hike, especially by myself. It's the quietest and serene of all my hiking spots, and even if there are other cars there...rarely have I ever seen another soul as I've trekked the various trails within. It's also incredibly beautiful, and I feel a wave of happiness every time I walk the above path. I know the forest is coming and I can't wait.


Surrounded by the Ponca Hills within Neale Woods.
Just as the Loess Hills run along the western border of Iowa (and a part of northern Missouri), the Hills run along the eastern border of Nebraska. In fact, if the foliage isn't in the way, you can see either one from various points of the other. They're almost like sister hills, divided by the mighty Missouri River.


Round-headed bush clover.
A recent trip to Neale Woods, albeit chilly, was exactly what I needed to break the seemingly never-ending Winter. Even from this vantage point in the Hills, you can see the Iowa Mountains in the background.


A pine cone is a reminder of Winter.



While the Ranger doesn't live here anymore, the sign still does.



Tree roots make for an interesting road border.
This is a road that meanders through the Hills, and, again, you can just see the Iowa Mountains in the background, off in the distance.


A staircase (not the haunted ones) at Hummel Park.
Another place I love to hike and explore within the Ponca Hills is Hummel Park. Just a short drive south from Neale Woods, they both lie just off of John J. Pershing Drive. While not as peaceful, beautiful, or quiet as Neale Woods, there are still some hidden gems to hike within the park. 
Unlike Neale Woods, this is an Omaha City Park and is filled with people most of the time, some of them up to no good. It has a reputation for a few things, namely for being haunted and for being a place where nefarious things happen. Honestly, it's a good spot during the day for exploring.


A ravine in Hummel Park.




One of the prettiest things about Hummel Park, and this is especially true in the Spring and early Fall, are the gorgeous tree-lined, hilly roads that wind through it. It's gorgeous, honestly, just to take a drive through there if nothing else.



NP Dodge Park, while not situated in the Hills, rests between them and the Missouri River. Here is a shot of the forested area just off the entrance. You can see the Hills to the left. It also lies off of John J. Pershing Drive, just south of Hummel Park.



One of my favorite things about NP Dodge Park, and pretty much the only reason I go there, is that they have a few docks where you can admire the Missouri River.
I've definitely taken tons of pictures in Neale Woods that give a better idea of how beautiful the Ponca Hills are, but I was trying to give you a recent snapshot of them. For other gorgeous pics and stories of the hills, check out a few of my older posts here, here, and here. I'll make sure to go back when everything is green to take more pictures of my second favorite nature spot next to the Iowa Mountains.

Basic Financial Fitness: The Art of Stashing

I'm one of those people that got my finances in order after I hit 40 but am still living a paycheck-to-paycheck existence. Years of poverty and (former) poor decision-making skills have left me with an almost hoarding-like mentality when it comes to money. I'm always on my toes, knowing that I'm only one tragedy away from financial ruin. For this reason, I became a stasher. What is a stasher? Well, simply put, it's a person that squirrels away resources. In my case, it's money, although I do stash other things - largely snacks and other goodies I don't want my family to take off with. *laugh*
Basically, my stashing amounts to putting away little amounts of money in various places. For example:
1. I have a car loan at a different bank than my regular bank. My payment is under $200.00 a month, so I have $100 from each paycheck direct deposited to that bank in a checking account that I set up to pay the car loan. This means I have a surplus of money leftover each month. I also have a savings account there, so I transfer $10.00 each pay period from the checking to the savings while the rest accumulates in the checking. I've pulled from that account a couple of times for emergencies, so it's served me well already.
2. I have a hidden change jar in my house that I deposit all the change I accumulate. I will also throw a few $1.00 bills in there once in awhile. As I don't operate with cash much, it's a very slow way for me to build money, but that helps keep it out-of-sight-out-of-mind.
3. I have an online bank account that I deposit money into each paycheck. I opened an account with ING Direct years ago, but they are now Capital One 360 since Capital One bought them out. Again, I have a checking and a savings account there and I transfer money from my main bank there each paycheck. Trust me, it's not very much but it works. In my 30s, I would save roughly $5.00 a paycheck into my ING account, which I turned into an IRA through Vanguard in my 40s. Not too shabby!
4. The last way I stash cash is one of my newest: a Bluebird card. Touted as an alternative to banking, Bluebird is a collaboration between Walmart and American Express. It works like a cross between a gift card/debit card/secured credit card but has very little in the way of fees. You can direct deposit checks, pay bills, access cash free at many ATMs, and add money for free in various ways. I signed up online, they sent me a card, and I made my first "deposit" of $6.00 on a grocery trip to Walmart. I connected my debit card from my regular bank to it, and I add $10.00 here and there when I have a bit extra. The reason I got the Bluebird card is twofold: A. it's my way of saving and budgeting for a vacation, and B. it's my way of saving and budgeting for Christmas. I can save for one, get what I need, and then start saving for the other. When vacation or Christmas rolls around, I will have a debit/credit card that I can use for all my needs but I'm only using the money I've saved up for it. It's kind of genius. I recommend this card over a secured credit card or a gift card. There are very few fees which are only for not-normal situations, you get fraud protection, and you have the power of American Express. 

And, that, my friends is how I stash cash. Do I recommend stashing cash? Yes, definitely. Stashing cash is a great way to "sit it and forget it", like I mentioned earlier it's out of sight and out of mind. This is especially true of the online savings account. I've talked about the benefits of having an online bank account before and it still holds true today. If you have an automatic transfer done each payday to your online account, you'll won't miss it after awhile and your money will grow without any real effort on your part. I literally did this with $5.00 throughout my 30s. Do I recommend stashing cash in numerous ways? Well, only if it works for you.
As always, adopt a smart money mindset and hash out a plan that works for you. Whatever you do, though, make sure you save. Savings are important. 

Vacation Dreamin'

It's that time of year again when we start planning our family vacation. Honestly, it started a few months ago, but now we're really planning in earnest. It's good to get a head start so plans can be tweaked and changed - something that happens when there's a good amount of time between planning and execution. Indeed, we have already tweaked and changed our vacation around since we first started.
Two years ago we took a short, four-day vacation to Colorado. It was the first family vacation that all four of us had ever taken together, and we enjoyed it immensely. Last year, in an effort to save some money while still having a great time, we headed to the Ozark Mountains in Arkansas (my mom lived there at the time) where we spent a full week hiking the mountains, going to National Parks, and generally having fun. This year, we've decided to expand upon the saving money part as our main goal in life right now is to pay off debts (student loans and car payments). We've also decided to use the time to visit with family we don't see much of. That's not to say we're not going to do something that includes only the four of us doing our favorite thing: getting out in nature.

Black Hills National Forest - photo courtesy of TripAdvisor
We get one extra day this year, so our vacation starts on a Friday in June and ends the following Sunday. I've determined we are coming home on Saturday, and that's that! Last year, we got home the evening before we had to go back to work and I was exhausted. Anyway, we're heading to the Black Hills of South Dakota that Friday morning, and heading back here to Omaha on Sunday. Short, yes, but I will divulge all those details in the vacation posts in June. The next day we'll head to my dad's house to spend three nights and take some fun days trips, also in nature as my dad is a hiker (that's where I get my love of the sport). After that, we're off to my mother-in-law's for two nights to visit with her. I'll also try and sneak in a visit with a dear friend of mine before heading home.
South Dakota, if you've never been there, is gorgeous. It's like Arkansas in the sense that you're in "small mountain" country - as opposed to Colorado - but it's just as lovely and majestic. In fact, the Black Hills have higher peaks than the Ozark Mountains. Since we're in Rapid City, it would be silly to miss out on Mount Rushmore. The kids and I have been there, but my husband has not. It's been several years since the kids and I have gone, however, that Nature Girl doesn't even really remember it. Of course, there's no way we're going to be out there and not do some hiking.

Mount Rushmore - photo courtesy of Wikipedia
I can't wait to go on vacation! I'm so looking forward to getting out of town with the kids and having some adventures. What are your vacation plans this year?

Coffee Talk: Vegan Eats, The Scream, and the Write Life

So, I'm sure you noticed that I didn't post yesterday like is my usual Saturday habit. The reason for this is that I took a business trip to Des Moines, Iowa, and left early yesterday morning amid a flurry of activity. It was a short, but sweet, trip and I'm already back home.
I attended a conference in Des Moines for most of the day and afterward headed north to Ankeny, where we spent the night with friends. For the conference, I had luncheon and banquet tickets but I wasn't very optimistic that I was going to find decent vegan food to eat on the buffet table. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I was wrong! I had a lunch that consisted of a side salad with French dressing, and tortilla chips smothered with refried beans, jalapenos, black beans, lettuce, black olives, onion, and salsa. Then, for the banquet that evening, I was able to get another side salad with Asian dressing, roasted vegetables (yellow & orange carrots, green beans, and red pepper), wild rice pilaf, and a roll. All of it was delicious and filling and I was thrilled. I was even more thrilled when a vegan baker arrived and gave me a generous dessert of a large chocolate cupcake with chocolate frosting, and a handful of vegan brownie bites. 


Wall mural at Zombie Burger in Des Moines.

To top it all off, we stopped at Zombie Burger in Des Moines on our way home where I got the Negan: a Beyond Meat patty on a vegan bun with pickle, vegan Zombie sauce, and pickles with a side of fries. It was another delicious meal and I left the city feeling satisfied and full....something that often escapes me when traveling. 

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This week I'll be putting out my monthly newsletter, and this one will include the fourth and final installment of my short story, "The Scream." It's been a fairly successful series, so I think later this summer I might do another short story newsletter series. We'll see. Are you enjoying "The Scream"? Let me know in the comments! If you're not already signed up for my newsletter, make sure you do so now.

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The Write Life has been moving along quite well these past several weeks. I took that much-needed break after The Box was published, but it's nice to finally get back into the writing groove. Instead of sporadic writing, I'm ticking along at my standard pace and The House of Vermilion is well into its second chapter. It's nice to be back in my author element. While the break was nice, it started to feel like I was losing my touch after awhile. I know that's a silly thing to think for taking a few months off from writing much of anything, but it happens to us writers. The call to create is great...sometimes greater than our actual desire to create.

Have a great week!
H.A.

Be Who You Want to Be

Recently, I talked about how I've finally found myself after all these years. It wasn't an easy road, trying to figure out who I was, but I figure it's better late than never. The truth is, I just didn't know any better. I looked around me as I was growing up and assumed I was supposed to live this idealized version of adulthood - something that many of my peers were doing. I saw what happened to those peers who didn't live up that idealized version: they became "losers". After all, if you didn't live up to that idealized version, you weren't succeeding. I...was that loser.
I struggled for many years trying, but never succeeding, to become that idealized version of myself. What I didn't know, and what took me many years to figure out, is that I could be exactly who I was and be successful. What I also didn't know was that success can take different forms. One person's view of what success means differs from another's. I came to two conclusions then: 1. I'm going to be exactly who I am, no exceptions, and 2. I will define my success on my own terms. 
These two conclusions were eye-opening game-changers for me. While I sure don't match the success of some of my peers - and certainly exceed other peers - I'm successful in my own right, and that's what's important. One of the greatest things that has happened to me in my wiser, older years, is that I just don't care about what others think of me. Freeing myself from all these constraints has helped me blossom and find my own way in the world. I can hold my own in any situation.
Most importantly, I'm calmer and happier. That sense of urgency has faded away and I can now move along at my own pace. I am exactly who I am, exactly who I want to be, and so should you. 
Life is short. Be who you want to be.