Julie Arduini's Blog, page 68
July 9, 2018
My Life in Bumper Stickers
Now that he’s entering his junior year in college, our son was finally able to hand me the Kent State Mom bumper sticker I wanted. Once I put that on, I realized it left an empty spot that I could fill.
I’ve spent two weeks trying to figure out what bumper sticker would be best to represent me.
My favorite moments are summed up in my stickers.
–Disney Cruise with my family. Yes. Best. Time. Ever.
–Speculator Department Store. My Adirondack Life I love so much. The setting for ENGAGED.
–SUNY Geneseo alumni. The State University of New York at Geneseo. Something that reminds me of growing up years that makes me smile.
On my side window I have a decal for a cause I’ll forever believe in, a pink owl with Regan Shetsky’s name on it. It’s remembering and honoring her life, and should anyone ask me, I would tell them to like the Regan’s Acts of Kindness Page and read her story. Never forget her.
What now?
I thought about Outer Banks. It was a 2010 vacation my husband and I enjoyed, but the kids admitted they don’t love beach life. Fine, then.
Author? Maybe declare who I am and maybe my website? No, that didn’t feel right.
Do I save it for an upcoming vacation? No, the spot is bugging me. I want it filled now.
Wisconsin? Our older children and their families live there, but most of their growing up years were visiting us in NY.
How about my hometown?
Then I thought about the Finger Lakes. It’s the region we’re from, plus it’s the setting for my new Surrendering Opinions romance series.
All were great ideas, but none clicked.
I finally ordered my “winner” tonight.
Watkins Glen State Park.
It’s full of fond memories. It’s where my husband asked me to be his girlfriend while camping with the older kids. We’ve returned many times, including with our kids. Before we moved to Ohio, our home was less than 10 miles away. When we visit, I love driving by. It’s a beautiful sight. The park has 800+ steps including behind waterfalls, it’s majestic.
It just felt right.
So me on my back and side window summarized is my younger self (Geneseo), my current status (Kent Mom,) Speculator (writing life,) Disney Cruise (great family memory,) and Regan Shetsky (let’s keep her memory alive!) Now, Watkins Glen State Park finishes it off.
But I do have another side window spot open…
July 4, 2018
Fiction Finder July 2018 New Releases
July 2018 New Releases
More in-depth descriptions of these books can be found on the ACFW Fiction Finder website.
A Widow’s Hope by Vannetta Chapman — After tragedy claimed her husband’s life and her son’s ability to walk, Hannah King doesn’t want a new man. She has her family, a home and mounting debts. Scarred Amish bachelor Jacob Schrock offers Hannah the job she desperately needs. But while Hannah helps Jacob resolve his accounting issues, can she and her little boy also heal his wounded heart? (Contemporary Romance from Love Inspired [Harlequin])
Firestorm by Laura V. Hilton — Bridget Behr can’t shake the guilt that it was her fault her family moved—and is too afraid to trust anyone, especially the flirtatious, overly-friendly Amish man who lives next door. Just as Bridget is finally settling into friendship, a new life, and maybe even love, a devastating forest fire ravages the county, destroying both land and the Behrs’ dreams. Now Bridget and her family must decide: will they leave behind the ashes and start anew in another Amish community? Or will they dare to fight for the future they’d hoped for in Mackinac County? (Contemporary Romance from Whitaker House)
Ride to the Altar by Linda W. Yezak — Cattle are dying on the Circle Bar, putting the Texas ranch in financial jeopardy. Newly engaged Patricia Talbert and Talon Carlson must root out the cause before they can concentrate on wedding plans—which involves Patricia’s traveling to New York to patch things up with her domineering mother. While she is away, Talon discovers that the attacks on the ranch are connected to the murder of his first fiancée over eight years ago. Before they can move forward together, each have to resolve the past. Will they be able to start their new life with a clean slate? (General Contemporary from Canopy Books of Texas)
My Heart Belongs in Galveston, Texas by Kathleen Y’Barbo — Dodging bullets takes a simple missing person case to a new level as Jonah Cahill, a Pinkerton agent, and Madeline Latour, an investigative reporter, form a tentative truce in Galveston, Texas, 1880. Are they on to a much bigger story when their best witness is suddenly kidnapped? (General Historical from Barbour Publishing)
The Reckoning at Gossamer Pond by Jaime Jo Wright — Two women, separated by a hundred years, must uncover the secrets within the borders of their own town before it’s too late and they lose their future–or their very souls. (Historical Mystery from Bethany House [Baker])
This Freedom Journey by Misty M. Beller — Adrien Lockman left France to finally live life on his own terms, but when he discovers a half-starved and half-frozen woman in the treacherous Canadian mountains, the truth soon becomes clear—the only way they’ll survive is together. (Historical Romance, Independently Published)
The Widow’s Plight by Mary Davis — After moving to a new town and joining a quilting circle, a single mother steps out of the shadows of abuse and into the sunshine. But will a secret clouding her past cost her the man she loves? (Historical Romance from Mountain Brook Ink)
River to Redemption by Ann H. Gabhart — Orphaned during an early 19th century cholera epidemic and helped by a slave to find a new home, Adria Starr must now stand up for his freedom—and maybe find her own in the process. (Historical Romance from Revell [Baker])
A Rumored Fortune by Joanna Davidson Politano — A young heiress is suddenly the poorest wealthy woman in all of England when her father dies without telling anyone where he put his money. (Historical Romance from Revell [Baker])
Shifting Sands by Elizabeth Ludwig — A mysterious key hidden in the depths of an ancient lighthouse unlocks family secrets hidden for generations. (Cozy Mystery from Guideposts Publications)
Guarded Prognosis by Richard L. Mabry — At first Dr. Caden Taggart feared for his freedom, then for his ability to cope, and eventually he feared for his life. (Medical Mystery, Independently Published)
Darkwater Secrets by Robin Caroll — When Adelaide Fountaine, the general manager of a hotel in New Orleans, finds the body of a guest who was stabbed with a kitchen knife, her childhood friend Detective Beau Savoie is shocked to discover a connection between his friend–the woman he’s quietly loved for years—and the murdered guest. But Beau can’t press Adelaide too hard . . . because he’s keeping secrets of his own. Can Adelaide and Beau afford to hide from the truth with a killer on the loose? (Romantic Suspense from Gilead Publishing)
Camp Hope by Sara L. Foust — Facing dehydration, starvation, and a convoluted kidnapper, will Amy succeed in recovering her precious foster daughter or get lost in a vast wilderness forever? (Romantic Suspense from Mantle Rock Publishing)
Dead Drift by Dani Pettrey — Seven years ago, operative Luke Gallagher vanished to join an elite team of terrorist hunters. Private investigator Kate Maxwell never stopped loving or looking for Luke after he disappeared. But she also never imagined he left her or his life by choice. Now he’s back, asking her help to stop America’s newest terrorist threat—an attack that would shake the country to its core. Together they must navigate secrets, lies, and betrayal, all while on the brink of a biological disaster. Will they and their love survive, or will Luke and Kate become the terrorist’s next mark? (Romantic Suspense from Bethany House [Baker])
Launch by Jason C. Joyner — Teens with special abilities are invited to an exclusive conference where tech billionaire Simon Mazor is looking for those who can help him influence the world. (Young Adult from Little Lamb Books)
July 2, 2018
Taking Our Thoughts Captive by Kelly Goshorn
Taking Our Thoughts Captive
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
What a load of . . . well that’s just not true and I have the scars to prove it.
You’re fat.
You’re ugly.
No likes you.
No one…will ever…love you.
And those are just the things I said to myself.
You have such a pretty face, if you could just lose weight.
Boys don’t like to date chubby girls.
Men don’t marry heavy women.
I made a vow I’d never marry a woman who was overweight.
The last was spoken the night the man I had been dating said he couldn’t marry me because I was overweight. I was devastated. Everything I’d feared was true about me…was. I went home, curled up on the cold tile of my bathroom floor and eyed an entire bottle of ibuprofen I’d dumped into my hand.
As I contemplated whether or not to swallow the pills, the enemy taunted me, reminding me I was of no value to anyone. Tears flooded my eyes. I yearned for a love that would look upon my heart and find inestimable worth, despite my physical flaws. Couldn’t someone love and accept me the way I was?
Like a needle caught in the scratch of a vinyl record, the toxic phrases played repeatedly in my head. Why was it so hard to believe a man might find me attractive? Even love me? It all boiled down to the same thing in my mind—I was undesirable, therefore unlovable.
In that desperate moment another voice spoke to my damaged heart offering life instead of death.
I do not regret making you.
I do not look upon you as man does.
I look upon your heart and what I see is beautiful.
You are worthy of my love.
I love you more than any man ever will.
The overwhelming inadequacy that had burdened my spirit since childhood disappeared. A soothing peace soaked into my parched soul like water in the dessert, bringing relief to every dry crevice.
The Voice of Truth had silenced the Great Deceiver.
Words have the power to lift us up or tear us down. The most dangerous ones are the ones we repeat every day. I spent too many years speaking words of death over myself—that I was fat, ugly, unlovable and unworthy of the God I believed sacrificed His son on my behalf.
In a world that often equates our worth to the size of our paycheck, our appearance or the diploma hanging from our wall, it can be very tough to see our own value. We are ignorant if we don’t agree with the current PC opinion. We are ugly if we don’t look like the air-brushed images on fashion magazines. We are a failure if we don’t earn a six-figure income and have the latest devices at our fingertips.
The Bible tells us in John 10:10 that “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
Here are just a few things the Bible has to say about you:
1 Thes.1: 4 You are chosen and dearly loved of God.
Ps. 139:14 You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Zech. 2:8 You are the apple of God’s eyes. (I just love that one!)
2 Cor. 5:17 You are a new creation in Christ.
John 1:12 You are a child of God.
Col. 1:14 You have been forgiven.
Rom. 8:1 You are free forever from condemnation.
Eph. 2:6 You are his masterpiece.
A Love Restored by Kelly Goshorn
My personal struggle with weight issues and my journey to self-acceptance is shown through my heroine, Ruth Ann, in my debut novel, A Love Restored. At its core, A Love Restored is a story about the power of words over our lives. It is a story about the struggle each of us faces to take our thoughts captive to the truth of Scripture so we may experience the fullness of God’s unequivocal love for us.
I hope readers will be able to relate to Ruth Ann’s struggle. Whether their issue is body image, finances, appearance, lifestyle, occupation or something entirely different. My prayer for each of you is that you will not allow the enemy to steal the joy that is rightfully yours as a child of God. Speak the truth of the gospel over yourself every day and ask God to give you His eyes to see yourself as He does. (1 Samuel 16:7b)
About A Love Restored—She was nothing like the woman he’d envisioned for his bride, but he was everything she’d ever dreamed of—until a promise from his past threatened their future.
A LOVE RESTORED
With pert opinions and a less-than-perfect figure, Ruth Ann Sutton doesn’t measure up to society’s vision of a perfect lady. When she accepts a position teaching in a Freedman’s School, it threatens the only marriage offer Ruth Ann is likely to receive. She’s forced to choose between life as a lonely spinster or reinventing herself to secure a respectable proposal.
Determined to rise above his meager beginnings, Benjamin Coulter’s reputation as a fast learner and hard worker earn him the opportunity to apprentice with a surveyor for the railroad—a position that will garner the respect of other men. After a chance encounter with Ruth Ann Sutton, Benjamin is smitten with her pretty face, quick wit, and feisty personality.
When others ridicule his choice, will Benjamin listen to his heart or put ambition first?
Kelly Goshorn weaves her affinity for history and her passion for God into uplifting stories of love, faith and family set in nineteenth century America. She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and Romance Writers of America. Kelly has been enjoying her own happily-ever-after with her husband and best friend, Mike, for 28 years. Together they have raised three children, four cats, two dogs, a turtle, a guinea pig, a gecko, and countless hamsters. Thankfully, not all at the same time. When she is not writing, Kelly enjoys spending time with her young adult children, scrapbooking with friends, board gaming with her husband, and spoiling her Welsh corgi, Levi. Her debut novel, A Love Restored, releases June 29th from Pelican Book Group.
Purchase on Amazon https://amzn.to/2J2wBAz
Barnes and Noble Barnes & Noble https://bit.ly/2KhDiCE
You can connect with Kelly on:
Her website: http://kellygoshorn.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kelly.j.goshorn/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/KellyGoshorn
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/KellyGoshorn/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellyjgoshorn/
June 27, 2018
The Cap’s Still Missing & That’s OK
June 1988. I remember it was a Friday night in our local football stadium, and that it was hot. I was a walking jumble of emotions.
Excited.
Scared.
Angry.
Ready to move on.
As my high school commencement started and the music played, I recall being more concerned about the potential for the football player next to me passing out from the heat than anything else. Pushed aside was the stuffed pain I had from a relationship that took decades to heal. The anger from that rejection. The misguided desired to be loved at whatever cost. The need to matter.
I don’t remember my name being called or anything about the ceremony.
What stands out to me?
When everyone threw their caps in the air, I threw mine so high I never found it.
I didn’t care.
Fast forward thirty years and I’m finding notifications on Facebook that peers are posting here and there about our 30th reunion. Thirty?
Where did that time go?
In those decades I received an Associate’s Degree, and then my Bachelor’s. Where rejection felt like a heavy coat I wore during the middle and high school years, accepted and approved was my lot in college. It was a good, fun time. After that graduation I was introduced to a friendship with Christ that marked my twenties, although full of missteps, health challenges and rejection. There was marriage and becoming a step-mom, having our own son and daughter, as well as a miscarriage. Moves, loss of parent, in-laws, near death of child, writing, becoming published, and connecting with some on Facebook from those earlier years.

What I didn’t experience in those decades was a desire to return to the past. I was always the type that when I finished a season in my life, I didn’t look back. I graduated Friday and all my notebooks, notes, anything related to high school was pitched in the trash by that Sunday. Math was hard. I was smart, but not smart enough. It was a corporate town and I was from a blue collar family. I was bullied for my weight and acne, both symptoms of PCOS that wasn’t diagnosed for years that I suffered great pain from. Home life wasn’t horrible by today’s standards, but there was unresolved anger. Even when Christ came into my life, that former life of mine changed, but my baggage stayed. It took a long time for me to heal and break free from the anger.
One of the notifications was from a classmate I often sat by simply because our last names were close in the alphabet. He stated with a lot of profanity that no one cared about him then, no one cares now, so don’t be looking for him come reunion day. That was the gist of it, and when I read it, the sassy side of me that did show up back then here and there wanted to write “ditto.”
I’ve said the same about my own calling hours. If you don’t talk to me now, don’t come boo -hooing when I’m dead. I’m the same person today pretty much that I was then. If I wasn’t good enough to invite to your birthday parties or say hi to me in the halls then, why should I try so hard to attend? Just by reading the replies, I can tell the cliques and behaviors are still there that are emotional triggers for me.
My dear friend asked if I was making the trip and I explained no, it just wasn’t a priority for me. I told her I had a feeling I’d have much more fun watching it all take place from a distance and through social media. Each Christmas I return to my hometown and invite high school friends to join me for dinner. I absolutely treasure those who sacrifice their time to come. Those are the ones I want to see. I’ll see them in December.
I’m not saying my attitude toward my reunion is right, but my mom admitted she has zero interest in high school nostalgia. Her years were very tough on her and she doesn’t want to re visit the memories. If we’re wrong, at least we’re in good company with each other. My husband is at a big reunion year as well and admitted he’d never go. He was friends with a different class than his own. I had that situation as well.
Thirty years. My graduation cap’s still missing. I’m okay with that.
June 20, 2018
Meet Belle Peterson by Toni Shiloh
Meet Belle Peterson
Toni: Thank you so much for having me today on the blog, Julie. Readers, I wanted to take the time to introduce you to my main character in Enduring Love, Belle Peterson.
Belle: Thanks for the introduction, Toni. I have to tell you, I’m a little nervous.
Toni: Don’t worry! Readers are great people. Plus, there’s a little anonymity doing an online interview.
Belle: Thank goodness.
Toni: *chuckles* I completely agree with you. So tell us, Belle. What made you move to Maple Run? You seem like a big city kind of woman.
Belle: In my past life—nothing strange. Just mean my life before I was born again—I was definitely a city girl. Did all things the city had to offer: shopping, going to museums, etc. But my past life seemed to threaten my born again status, so I searched for a change of pace. And now I’m in Maple Run.
Toni: Sometimes we need of change of scenery when something monumental happens. What do you think of the people in Maple Run?
Belle: Abnormal. *chuckles* But I mean that in a good way. I’ve never met a group of people willing to go to bat for one another. Actually, it reminds me of the one anothers in the Bible. They exemplify that.
Toni: Oh that sounds so idyllic.
Belle: You should know. You created it.
Toni: *smiles* That I did. If you had to pick a verse that spoke to the season you’re currently in, what would it be?
Belle: That’s a good question. Are you talking about the season I was in when I moved to Maple Run or how I feel after Enduring Love ends?
Toni: Why not both?
Belle: Well, when I moved to Maple Run the verse I was clinging to was 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”
Toni: Oh, that’s a good one! And now?
Belle: Now, it would be Ephesians 3:20, “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us”
Toni: That’s another great one. Now, I don’t want to give away any spoilers for those who haven’t had a chance to read your story yet. But I do want to ask, what do you hope readers learn from your story?
Belle: That you never know someone’s back story. That grace and kindness goes along way for someone joining the body of Christ. If it weren’t for the kindness of my Maple Run family, I’d still be stuck in my shame and guilt. Their love covered me and helped me discover my new self.
Toni: That’s beautiful. Thank you so much for joining me today. Readers, do you have any questions for me or Belle?
Author bio –

Toni Shiloh is a wife, mom, and Christian fiction writer. Once she understood the powerful saving grace thanks to the love of Christ, she was moved to honor her Savior. She writes to bring Him glory and to learn more about His goodness.
She spends her days hanging out with her husband and their two boys. She is a member of the American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) and president of the Virginia Chapter.
You can find her on her website at http://tonishiloh.wordpress.com.
ENDURING LOVE

“There comes a point in every woman’s life where she must decide what to believe: the truth of the past or the circumstances of the present.”
Belle Peterson is hiding a secret. Seeking sanctuary in the small town of Maple Run, she’s intent on starting her life over—one she hopes honors Christ. The plan was going great until an undeniable attraction to Micah has her wondering if she’s changed at all.
Micah Campbell can’t understand why Belle is so uptight and wants nothing to do with her until the gentle whispers of God tell him to befriend her. He didn’t count on the feeling of protectiveness to rise up or that spark of attraction.
When Belle’s past is revealed, Micah prays that his love can endure it.
Buy links –
Social media links –
Facebook: www.facebook.com/authortonishiloh
Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/tonishiloh
Twitter: www.twitter.com/tonishiloh
Instagram: www.instagram.com/tonishiloh
Goodreads: www.goodreads.com/tonishiloh
Bookbub: www.bookbub.com/authors/toni-shiloh
Blogs I’m part of: http://puttingonthenew.com ; http://heartwingsblog.com ; http://diversitybetweenthepages.wordpress.com
June 18, 2018
Staying Strong for Whatever Comes by Jennifer Slattery
They didn’t know it, but a small group of ordinary men—most of them fishermen—in ancient Palestine were about to experience the greatest challenge to their faith imaginable. This incomprehensible tragedy was so unexpected, they never thought to prepare. How does one prepare for an unforeseen, faith-rocking encounter, anyway?
Grit their teeth and determine to stand firm?
No, that would only work against them, for we are at our weakest point possible whenever we take on the position of self-reliance.
It was the night Jesus was about to be executed, and His Spirit was filled with deep anguish, not only for Himself, but for the twelve who’d given up everything to follow Him, the Man whom they believed would soon change the world and set all the wrong things right. Not only would their hearts be broken; their very faith would take a devastating hit. And they had absolutely no idea the incredible trial that lay ahead.
They couldn’t have imagined such anguish, such fear and confusion, had they tried. But Jesus knew, and, visualizing the depth of their struggle, He gave them an action plan, one that would provide more strength and peace than any other act they could dream up—they were to pray.
But first, a warning:
“When it was evening, Jesus sat down at the table with the twelve disciples. While they were eating, He said, ‘I tell you the truth, one of you will betray Me’” (Matthew 26:20-21 NLT).
Then, perhaps knowing this revelation didn’t sink in, He repeats this warning on the way to the Mount of Olives, where He would show them, through His heart-felt actions, just how serious their impeding threat was:
“Tonight all of you will desert Me. For the Scriptures say, ‘God will strike the Shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered’” (Matthew 26:31 NLT).
But they weren’t listening, maybe because, as Jesus talked of challenges, all they could think of were their victories: the time when they cast out demons and healed the sick, or perhaps when they watched their Master multiply a small basket of fish and loaves which He used to feed a crowd. Or perhaps Peter remembered when, upon Jesus’ beckoning, he walked on water. True, he sank a moment later, but the next time he’d do better. He’d remain focused, strong, confident. He’d keep his eyes on Jesus and could overcome anything that came his way.
For truly, what could be more challenging than a ruthless storm or men and women oppressed by demons?
No, they had this, and this, whatever this was.
And it was precisely that type of thinking that led to their failure.
If only they’d listened to Jesus instructions spoken on that dark, quiet night:
“Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give into temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak” (Matthew 26:41)
Did they listen? Or were they still too confused, too unsuspecting, too focused on their strength and ability to “stand strong?”
Whatever lies ahead, I want to heed Jesus’ words. I want to regularly pray for the strength to stand strong when temptations and difficulties come. Because a trial is coming, and I’ve—we’ve—been given everything we need in Christ to stand and stay strong. May we take the time, regularly, to tap into that power source.
Jennifer Slattery is a writer and international speaker who’s addressed women’s groups, church groups, Bible studies, and other writers across the nation. She’s the author of six contemporary novels maintains a devotional blog found at http://jenniferslatterylivesoutloud.com. She has a passion for helping women discover, embrace, and live out who they are in Christ. As the founder of Wholly Loved Ministries, (http://whollyloved.com) she and her team partner with churches to facilitate events designed to help women rest in their true worth and live with maximum impact. When not writing, reading, or editing, Jennifer loves going on mall dates with her adult daughter and coffee dates with her hilariously fun husband. Connect with her on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/JenSlatte) or Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/slatteryjennifer/).
Dancing in the Rain:
On the verge of college graduation, Loni Parker seeks employment as a music teacher, but no one will hire her since she’s blind. Or so she thinks. To take her mind off her troubles, her roommate invites her to spring retreat at Camp Hope in the gorgeous North Carolina mountains.
Unbeknownst to Loni, Michael Ackerman, the director, is an ex-con responsible for the accident that caused her blindness. When Loni warms up to camp and wants to return as a summer counselor, Michael opposes the idea, which only makes Loni want to prove herself all the more. Though she doesn’t expect to fall for the guy. Still, her need for independence and dream of teaching win out, taking her far away from her beloved Camp Hope . . . and a certain director.
Camp director Michael Ackerman recognizes Lonie instantly and wants to avoid her at all costs. Yet, despite the guilt pushing him from her, a growing attraction draws him to the determined woman. She sees more with her heart than the average person does with his eyes. But her presence also dredges up a long-buried anger toward his alcoholic father that he’d just as soon keep hidden. When circumstances spin out of control, Michael is forced to face a past that may destroy his present.
Buy it here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CSH8F97
June 12, 2018
Another Important “Me, Too.”
With my own writing deadlines always right there, when something lately in the news grabs me, I dismiss sharing about it here because I’ve read another blog where their thoughts echoed mine and they said it so eloquently. This time, that “burn in my belly” isn’t going away, so I thought I’d share.
Last year the phrase “Me too” became a movement, and one that was long overdue. Although I can share a couple experiences where I felt “less than” in the company of males, thankfully I was not touched, and again, someone else blogged about it way better than I could.
Last week, I started seeing a trend bringing up another Me, too.
The battle against suicide.
Kate Spade’s death started the conversation. I read an excellent testimony from a favorite author who shared her struggle, despite her strong faith. The articles I read about Kate Spade alluded to the fact that she was offered help/was getting it/but she was worried about her brand.
That’s a real fear.
I don’t have a global company or a known name, but there was a time the world felt so crushing and bleak from my point of view that I was spiritually drowning. When I went to talk to someone, the counsel I was given was to repent. How dare I feel so negative against God’s blessings?
Folks, that wasn’t help. It led me straight to isolation where I was scared to share what was really going on.
Honestly, I was terrified I would be the one failure Christian who would destroy Christ’s brand.
Years later, I can be open because I have sought help, and I know the triggers.
My depression stemmed from hormonal imbalance. It took me decades to figure it out and have a doctor confirm it. It took me even longer to surrender the fear of what people would think about a Christian wife and mom taking a daily medication to offset that imbalance. In the years before I surrendered, at my darkest times I wept in silence because I felt less than a woman because of my *PCOS. I had great physical pain and the proclamation I would most likely not have children. I would hide upstairs away from my husband because I was so ashamed. After the one pastor had said, I have so many blessings. How dare I feel that way?
Isolating myself only accelerated the darkness. With no accountability, the thoughts increased and I was certain my husband was missing a real life with a real wife. That if I were gone, he could enjoy the life he was meant to have. He deserved wholeness he would never get from me. It was so hopeless that I remember walking to the medicine cabinet and searching for something, anything, that would end the pain.
I remember grabbing a suitcase and thinking if I could just leave and keep driving, that would help. If the brakes failed as I drove, that would be great.
I think the only thing that stopped me from moving forward with the thoughts was fear of God. I didn’t want to quit without knowing that was what He wanted for me. Over the years puzzle pieces came together. My pain came from ovaries 5 x the size of anyone else’s. Surgery corrected that. I was able to have children. Even after a miscarriage and a very dark year where I fought depression every hour of every day, I clung to Bible studies even in my obsession to learn the medical why behind the loss. The promises from the studies won over the darkness. Years later after I went into early menopause and talked to a new GYN, he suggested medicine for my hormones and the depression he knew I was fighting. I agreed and got my life back.
As I needed a hysterectomy where even more issues were discovered that I had not known about all those years that contributed to my pain, new menopause symptoms entered and threatened my peace. Depression took a backseat and anxiety was a new foe. This time around, I have a team of women who pray for my writing. I am transparent with them and know they cover me in prayer. I share with my family how I am doing. What helps. What doesn’t. What I’m doing. I keep up with medical appointments and follow-ups, and I’m honest. If I’m struggling, I don’t hold back.
Want the truth? I don’t get why God created me with different wiring that creates those feelings, but, BUT—-my depression and anxiety didn’t destroy Christ’s brand. I think they ENHANCED it.
As God healed my body and mind, I transformed into someone who hasn’t been afraid to speak the truth in love. I don’t wear an emotional mask and I don’t hide anymore. Transparency is something people think of when they think of me. Other words I’m defined by is strong. Faith. Prayer warrior. I believe the broken places I felt lost to ended up being a testimony God is using to help others.
I am so grateful that in my darkest moment, through those “warehouses” of tears that I am certain in heaven Jesus will give me a tour and explain them, I didn’t follow through. No one wins in a suicide. I knew that then, and I know it now. Families and friends never recover. There is so much devastation. Those are truths you will never hear in isolation. Those whispers will be all about you. I know. I’ve been there. The reality is there is so much more than you, even holed up and hidden out of fear and shame.
If you are or if you love someone who is hidden and isolated because of shame and dark feelings and their faith keeps them from seeking help, please be encouraged by my experience. Help is available. If you encounter a religious leader who condemns you, find someone else. Medicine might not be God’s answer for you, but if it is, don’t let fear of what others might think stop you from getting your life back.
I’m not a counselor, but if you want someone to cheer for you, please don’t hesitate to contact me at juliearduini@juliearduini.com.
Current Bible study I’m reading: In the Middle of the Mess by Sheila Walsh
*=polycystic ovarian syndrome
June 11, 2018
It’s been Marvel-ous
It’s been too long since I’ve posted an update. The good news means I’m writing, and this is a BUSY writing year.
I’m finishing up a Christmas novella, part of a 10-author collection. More news to come.
I’m starting Book 2 in the Surrendering Stinkin’ Thinkin’ Series, You’re Amazing. If you missed You’re Beautiful , this is a three book series my teen daughter created. She came up with the plot, characters, and supervised my writing and cover creation. I took it through the writing and publishing process, but the heart of it is straight from Hannah. I’m so excited about this book.
I’m starting over with Book 1 in the Surrendering Opinions series, my latest contemporary romance. If you want a sneak peek, I have a prelude for Anchored at the end of Engaged.
It’s been busy with other ministry as well. I love mentoring, especially young people. There was a group of us that helped out while we transitioned through youth pastors. The new one is on board and I’m so excited to see what God will do. Not just in the teens, but in and around me.
As far as home life, this year is a breath of fresh air compared to last year. Although there have been serious challenges, it hasn’t been relentless and with both kids at the same time. Praise the Lord and Hallelujah. We have one entering their junior year of college, and the second starts high school in the fall. Blows my mind!
There’s also been a lot of travel. My husband started a new position and there has been some travel involved. He went to Wisconsin to celebrate our first grandson’s birthday. There’s a family event this summer, as well as a family vacation and my own travel to see family.
Then there’s the bucket list. Our son had a bucket list last summer where he wanted to watch the Marvel movies in order. He didn’t get to it, and after we snuck away to watch Infinity War, we both realized we wanted to watch from the beginning while we waited for Avengers 4. He had a home theater project going on in the rec room, and after Tom donated surround sound speakers and I suggested another shower curtain for a screen—he now has a near 140 x 140 screen to watch.
It’s been a “Marvel-ous” experience! We just finished the first Avengers meeting. I’ve forgotten so much, and things I saw in Infinity War made more sense. It’s also been a great relaxation after working hard in the areas above.
I’ve been reading quite a bit, too. If you’re looking for suggestions or are curious, check out my shelves on Goodreads. Don’t forget to follow me so you can stay updated on my new releases.
How has the year been going for you? What are your plans for the summer?
June 4, 2018
New Release: No Safe Place by H.L. Wegley
New Release: Romantic Thriller by H. L. Wegley – No Safe Place
Matt Mathison, a young man returning from the far country trying to regain his honor, and Randi Richards, a young woman with a heart broken by her parents’ rejection because of her newfound faith, each have what the other needs. But will the assassin who put them on his hit list allow them enough time to discover what they have in each other.
No Safe Place is high-action romantic suspense with thriller-level stakes. It is a clean read with a modern-day prodigal story at its core, dealing with two struggles many Christians face, guilt because of our failures and the sting of rejection because of our faith.
As the heroine, Randi Richards discovers, living in witness protection can be a prison, monotonous days of confinement, until that night when the reasons you were placed there materialize, and you find that there truly is No Safe Place.
What readers are saying:
“This novel has everything you want in a book—good guys, evil villains, heroic cops, suspense, danger, love, beautiful setting, Grand Jury, Witness Protection Program. What more could a romantic suspense lover want?”
“When one rides a roller-coaster, one expects a long, slow, climb to the top of the hill, and then a long, steep, drop down the other side to begin the ride. H.L. Wegley didn’t read the instructions when he constructed the ride in No Safe Place. It begins with the setting on a trail through the forest, but no sooner than the reader gets comfortable with the steady pace of a fast jog, fast footsteps sound from the rear, and the ride is on. Drug cartel assassins, DA’s, safe houses, helicopter mishaps, and along the way, a clean romance with a beautiful woman take Matt Matthison on the ride of his life.”
Excerpts from No Safe Place:
“I’ve got to believe God wants us together. It seems like He’s been pushing us together since that moment we collided.”
“Matt,” she whispered through her hoarse voice, “… we didn’t collide. You tackled me.”
“Ran, you’re a lot prettier person to tackle than a sweaty, defensive back running down the field with my interception in his grubby paws.”
“I don’t know quite how to reply to that.”
“So now you’re a narco-terrorist? Did they give you an AK-47?”
“They would have if I’d stayed.”
She released his shirt. “Have you ever killed anyone, Matt?” Her eyes and face looked weird. Not angry, just freaked out.
No Safe Place, Witness Protection Series 1: a supercharged, modern-day prodigal story with several new twists and a little romance.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07C5J7839/
No True Justice, Witness Protection Series 2, coming in July: They placed her in WITSEC not to protect her but to shut her up. When that failed, there was only one other option.
Author Bio:
H.L. Wegley served as an Air Force Intelligence Analyst and a Weather Officer. In civilian life, he worked as a research scientist, publishing in the scientific literature, then developed Boeing computing systems for twenty years before he and his wife retired near Seattle. He is an award-winning author of inspirational thrillers and high-action romantic-suspense novels.
H.L. Wegley on the Web:
Website: http://www.hlwegley.com
Facebook author’s page: https://www.facebook.com/HLWegley
Many of my readers have friended me and use my FB profile page:
Facebook profile: https://www.facebook.com/harry.wegley.1
Twitter https://twitter.com/hlwegley
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/H.-L.-Wegley/e/B00B1XMR56
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4460203.H_L_Wegley
June 1, 2018
Fiction Finder New Releases: June
June 2018 New Releases
More in-depth descriptions of these books can be found on the ACFW Fiction Finder website.
The Sleuth’s Miscalculation by Kimberly Rose Johnson — Librarian Nancy Daley loves a good mystery and enjoys moonlighting as a consultant for the sheriff’s department. When license plates go missing in Tipton County, she’s on the case. But she’s been partnered with the new deputy, Carter Malone, and he’s not interested in her help. When the minor case they are working morphs into something more, things quickly go from harmless to scary. Can they solve the mystery before it’s too late, and more importantly, what will they do about their growing attraction? (Contemporary Romance from Mountain Brook Ink)
Falling for the Cowgirl by Tina Radcliffe — Hiring Amanda “AJ” McAlester as his assistant at the Big Heart Ranch isn’t foreman Travis Maxwell’s first choice—but his sisters insist she’s perfect for the job. And AJ’s determined to prove she’s just as qualified as any man. But with money on the line, AJ and her innovative ideas could put him at risk of losing everything…including his heart. (Contemporary Romance from Love Inspired [Harlequin])
Enduring Love by Toni Shiloh — Belle Peterson is hiding a secret. Seeking sanctuary in the small town of Maple Run, she’s intent on starting her life over—one she hopes honors Christ. The plan was going great until an undeniable attraction to Micah Campbell has her wondering if she’s changed at all. Can love really conquer all or will Belle’s past be too much for Micah to handle? (Contemporary Romance from Celebrate Lit)
A Firm Place to Stand by Lori Altebaumer — Out of options, Maribel takes a safe enough seeming job, but soon finds herself in the middle of a murder, a search for a missing girl, and a race to find a lost treasure. (General Contemporary, Independently Published)
Kuwaiti Seeker by Jim Carroll — A young Kuwaiti Muslim searches for truth in Islam, but God finds him anyway. (General Contemporary, Crosslink Publishing)
Where the Fire Falls by Karen Barnett — Watercolorist Olivia Rutherford has shed her humble beginnings to fashion her image as an avant-garde artist to appeal to the region’s wealthy art-collectors. When she lands a lucrative contract painting illustrations of Yosemite National Park for a travel magazine, including its nightly one-of-a-kind Firefall event, she hopes the money will lift Olivia and her sisters out of poverty. After false accusations cost him everything, former minister Clark Johnson has found purpose as a backcountry guide in this natural cathedral of granite and trees. Now he’s faced with the opportunity to become a National Parks Ranger, but is it his true calling? As Clark opens Olivia’s eyes to the wonders of Yosemite, she discovers the people are as vital to the park’s story as its vistas–a revelation that may bring her charade to an end. (General Historical from Waterbrook/Multnomah [Random House])
Orphan Train Sweetheart by Mollie Campbell — Spring Hill is the orphan train’s last stop—a final chance for Simon McKay to find homes for his young charges. When his fellow placing agent quits, Simon enlists help from the frontier town’s pretty schoolteacher. Cecilia Holbrook is as intriguing as she is independent, yet Simon’s devotion to his mission will soon call him back to New York. Long overshadowed by her flirtatious sister, Cecilia is done with waiting for a man to choose her. She’s already fighting the school board to keep her position. Now she’s struggling not to lose her heart to Simon. Could their shared concern for the children show them how to follow a new dream, together? (Historical Romance Love Inspired [Harlequin])
A Love Restored by Kelly Goshorn — She was nothing like the woman he’d envisioned for his bride, but he was everything she’d ever dreamed of-until a promise from his past threatened their future. (Historical Romance from Pelican Book Group)
The Road to Magnolia Glen by Pam Hillman — In 1792, Quinn O’Shea leaves Ireland for Natchez, Mississippi, ready to force his oldest brother to reclaim the role of family guardian so Quinn can be free to pursue his own adventures. While aboard ship, a run-in with tenacious yet kind Kiera Young and her two Irish sisters lands him in the role of reluctant savior. Upon arriving in the colonies, Kiera realizes her intended groom never existed and a far more sinister deal has been negotiated for her and her sisters. Quinn offers to escort his charges safely to Breeze Hill Plantation and his brother’s care, fully intending to seek his freedom elsewhere. But the longer he remains, the greater his feelings toward Kiera grow and the more he comes to realize true freedom might be found in sacrifice. (Historical Romance from Tyndale House)
A Defense of Honor by Kristi Ann Hunter — When Katherine “Kit” FitzGilbert turned her back on London society more than a decade ago, she determined never to set foot in a ballroom again. But when business takes her to London and she’s forced to run for her life, she stumbles upon not only a glamorous ballroom but also Graham, Lord Wharton. Graham, intent on finding his friend’s missing sister, is convinced Kit knows more about the girl than she’s telling. After meeting Graham, Kit finds herself wishing things could have been different, but long ago, she dedicated herself to helping women escape the same scorn that drove her from London and raising the innocent children caught in the crossfire. As much as she desperately wishes to tell Graham everything, revealing the truth isn’t worth putting him and everyone she loves in danger. (Historical Romance from Bethany House [Baker])
More Than Meets the Eye by Karen Witemeyer — Many consider Evangeline Hamilton cursed. Orphaned at a young age and possessing a pair of mismatched eyes–one bright blue, the other dark brown–Eva has fought to find her way in a world that constantly rejects her. She’s made a safe haven with Seth and Zach, two former orphans she now counts as brothers. Seeking justice against the gambler who stole his birthright and destroyed his family, Logan Fowler arrives in 1880s Pecan Gap, Texas, to confront Zach Hamilton, the hardened criminal responsible for his father’s death. Instead, he discovers a man not much older than himself with an unusual family. When Zach’s sister, Evangeline, insists on dousing Logan with sunshine every time their paths cross, Logan finds his quest completely derailed. Who is truly responsible for his lost legacy, and will restoring the past satisfy if it means forfeiting a future with Evangeline? (Historical Romance from Bethany House [Baker])
Justice Betrayed by Patricia Bradley — It’s Elvis Week in Memphis, and homicide Detective Rachel Sloan isn’t sure her day could get any stranger when aging Elvis impersonator Vic Vegas asks to see her. But when he produces a photo of her murdered mother with four Elvis impersonators–one of whom had also been murdered soon after the photo was taken–she’s forced to reevaluate. When yet another person in the photo is murdered, Rachel suddenly has her hands full investigating three cases. Lieutenant Boone Callahan offers his help, but their checkered romantic past threatens to get in the way. Can they solve the cases before the murderer makes Rachel victim number four? (Romantic Suspense from Revell – A Division of Baker Publishing Group)
A Vast and Gracious Tide by Lisa Carter — After losing his closest friends and now his girlfriend to the ravages of war, Caden Wallis arrives on the Outer Banks for one final mission–to thank the woman who sent him a quilt while he was recuperating at Walter Reed Army Hospital. McKenna Dockery knows about loss. She juggles the family business, her ailing father, and an aging grandmother. Much to Caden’s surprise, she–not some elderly lady–is the quilter. The quilt was something she’d begun for her future husband but shipped to the military hospital after the tragic death of her fiancé. When a man is found snared in a net and murdered on McKenna’s property, she and Caden must work together to bring the killer to justice. (Romantic Suspense from Gilead Publishing)
Ransom of the Heart by Susan Page Davis — Police Captain Harvey Larson’s exhausting day takes a big detour when a teenaged girl approaches him at the diner, announcing that she is his daughter. When Harvey is on his way home from work a few hours later, his sister-in-law Abby calls him. She went to meet her husband for a dinner date and found a dead man on the floor at his place of business, and Peter has vanished. Harvey calls in his detectives and turns his car around. It’s going to be a long night, too. Once again, Harvey depends on his wits, his faith, and his squad, the Priority Unit, to solve a tough case and carry out Maine Justice. (Romantic Suspense from Tea Tin Press)
Song of Leira by Gillian Bronte Adams — Reeling from her disastrous foray into the Pit, Birdie, the young Songkeeper, retreats into the mountains. But in the war-torn north, kneeling on bloodstained battlefields to sing the souls of the dying to rest, her resolve to accept her calling is strengthened. Such evil cannot go unchallenged. Torn between oaths to protect the Underground runners and to rescue his friend from the slave camps, Ky Huntyr enlists Birdie’s aid. Their mission to free the captives unravels the horrifying thread connecting the legendary spring, Artair’s sword, and the slave camps. But the Takhran’s schemes are already in motion. Powerful singers have arisen to lead his army—singers who can shake the earth and master the sea—and monsters rampage across the land. As Leira falters on the verge of defeat, the Song bids her rise to battle, and the Songkeeper must answer. (Speculative High Fantasy from Enclave Publishing)