Betty Adams's Blog, page 58

Humans are Weird - Sparks

 Humans are Weird – Sparks


“Human Friend Mercy?” Rotates With Decision asked as she lifted her leading end out of the temporary tank the human in question had provided for her.
“What is it Rotates?” Human Friend Mercy replied without turning her face away from the reflective surface that was mounted on one wall.
“Wouldn’t your meditative devotion be more effective if you had another mirror angled from your … well it isn’t your lagging end exactly. I think you call it your supine surface? Or perhaps a pair, or a trine of mirrors would be more effective. But perhaps humans cannot interoperate an image scattered that far. Rolls a little your binocular vision should help with that…”
Human Friend Mercy’s hands had slowed in their soothing repetitive motions and the light show dimmed allowing the perhifreial sparks to dance more clearly. Her head slowly turned her face towards the Undulate in the tank revealing that she had sacrificed the bilateral symmetry of her face to get a proper visual sounding of the scene. It was, Rotates With Decision had been led to believe, a gesture of lack of understanding and mental effort to understand.
“Say way lil’ gal?” Human Friend Mercy drawled out.
“I will ask again once you have completed what you are doing,” Rotates With Decision said. “Do you mind if I deliberately observe with all of my appendages?
“Watch as much as you want,” the human replied with a graceful, almost Undulate dip of her shoulders.
A shrug, Rotates With Decision believed it was called, one of the more normal movements the massive bipeds produced from their numerous joints. Rotates With Decision gave a hum of gratitude and spread her appendages to observe the brilliant light show. She wondered idly why none of her companions with more human experience had ever mentioned this marvel.
The brush, a mass printed device that resembled the algae agitators she used back home in the growth pools, was gripped firmly in the humans dominant hand while she used her non-dominant hand to direct the fall of the thread thin fibers that grew out of her caudal end. The human had begun the meditative devotion by freeing the thousands of strands from the cloth band that restrained them and now the band clung snugly one of the larger joints on her arm. Then she had started using the teeth of the brush at the lagging end of the fibers to tease out the tangles exactly as one had to loosen the more fibrous algae back home.
The moment the printed material of the brush had touched the fibers a shower of brilliant sparks had erupted from the contact. As Human Friend Mercy had worked the brush up the length of her fibers the showers of sparks had grown in number and density until the flowing mass of fibers was a veritable cascade of dancing light. When all of the tangles were worked out of the fibers the human had worked up a steady rhythm that filled the room with the sparking light.
The beauty, the light, the rhythm, the softly chanted tune that Rotates With Decision couldn’t quite make out, everything about the wondrous scene before her spoke of a religious devotion. Even if Rotates With Decision hadn’t had the chance to see the ancient human religious art on display she would have recognized the holiness of the moment. As it was the tradition of putting a circle representing light around the head of humans in religious devotion suddenly made so much more sense.
Rotates With Decision suddenly realized that that chanting was actually the decamarked counting form the humans used. Human Friend Mercy was counting up by ones and was somewhere in the mid sixties. Rotates With Decision wondered which human prayers had that many beats. She had been somewhat under the impression that nightly prayers were usually shorter. She wondered suddenly if it had been rude to interrupt the prayer. Humans were oddly solitary creatures sometimes. True, Human Friend Mercy hadn’t appeared to be offended, but the human was probably too agreeable to express such a thing even if it was inconvenient to her.
The pace of the prayer was picking up in anticipation of the end count and Human Friend Mercy was briskly dragging the brush through the full length of the strands, catching the mass in her non-dominant hand and guiding the mass through the tines of the brush. The resulting light show almost obscured the dancing fibers in its glow. Human Friend Mercy reached a count of one-hundred and finished with a powerful stroke that made the room glow. Rather than bask in the accumulated light she parted the sparkling strands down the center of her caudal end and began quickly braiding the two halves into the side braids she had explained were the most comfortable for sleep. Showers of sparks fell from her fingers and lit on her shoulders before extinguishing in the ambient vapor. The human finished the task and dropped the brush on the shelf before giving a little hop and landing on her bunk.
“What was that question you asked Rotates?” Human Friend Mercy asked as she shifted in the usual human search for a comfortable position.
“Primarily I wanted to know why you have not arranged for a view of your, dorsal I believe, surface during the prayer time,” Rotates With Decision said.
Human Friend Mercy stopped shifting with her pillow clutched in her hands and stared at Rotates With Decision with the fluctuating gaze that indicated deep thought.
“What prayer now?” Human Friend Mercy asked with confusion clear in her tones.
“The counting prayer you just preformed at the mirror,” Rotates With Decision said, gesturing towards the reflective surface.
“That wasn’t a religious thing,” Human Friend Mercy said slowly. “It was a hygiene thing. It distributes the oils properly though my hair so the oils produced at the base of the strands can reach all the way to the tips. It also prevents insects from nesting in the braids and dislodges any dirt. I count to make sure I give sufficient time to the task.”
Rotates With Decision positively wriggled in surprise.
“Such astounding beauty produced from a merely hygienic process!” she exclaimed. “How delightful, but surely even so you would want to view the full effect of the light flow?”
“The what now?” Human Friend Mercy said, but was interrupted by a yawn.
“I can ask you about it in the morning,” Rotates With Decision said as she slipped back into the tank.
“Good idea,” Human Friend Mercy said and she shifted position to begin sleep.
However after a moment her arm lifted from her side and dropped across her caudal end in a pose that usually indicated thoughtfulness rather than restfulness.
“Yo’ Rotates,” Human Friend Mercy called out with another yawn. “Think I got it. My and my sister would sometimes brush our hair in the dark to see the sparks it made. I bet you can see ‘em even without it being pitch black.”
The human voice had wandered off into sleep and her arm dropped to her side so Rotates With Decision did not bother perusing the matter. There was always tomorrow. She stared at the lingering glow in the braids that fell over the human’s shoulders in fascination. Was it possible a species could produce such beauty without realizing it?


 Thank you all so much for your updoots and feedback. It gives me the will to go on. Want to see more? Think about becoming a Patreon.  Tea refuses to buy itself and the more time one has to spend on a day job the less time there is for befuddled aliens.  

The Second Lie of Lost in Space Part 4 – Eating the First Year’s and Other Delusions – Judy Robinson

​The Second Lie of Lost in Space Part 4 – Eating the First Year’s and Other Delusions – Judy Robinson
Hello my wonderful viewers and welcome to another episode of Betty Adams over-analyzes. Today we look at the second main lie of Lost in Space for the fourth time.
Alpha Centauri is a lie. Not to say that a human habitable planet in the Centauri system doesn’t exist. The planet is there. A population of thousands is living, loving, dying on Alpha Centauri. This is a population that needs farmers, mechanics, and doctors. Oh, Alpha Centauri is real. Very, very real, but not even a doctor of Judy’s skill is going to find a shiny, premade carer waiting for her in that pit of misery.

The Post That Launched My Universe

My 'Humans Are Weird' universe was conceived way back in the late aughts in a tiny cook cabin on a river in the Alaskan bush. A river was trickling by, hordes of zombie mosquitoes were massing at the window screens as they developed a resistance to 100% DEET, and I was busily mulling over the discovery of how loud I could scream when properly motivated. However it took nearly half a decade longer for the universe to really take off. The universe had aliens, human, spaceships, and humor but it really didn't have a hook.  
However that all changed with I heard and felt a deep resonance with the budding HFY community on the internet. This clarified the central theme of my universe. Humans are Weird. Very, very, weird. 
However, while the author side of me was very happy with this idea, the wildlife ecologist side of me wasn't quite satisfied with it. You see there is a basic tenet in biology, form follows function.  All those science fiction universes that set humans as the boring, normal baseline species did so with an actual practical reason at their backs. They assumed that Earth was a boring normal planet. "Class M" in the Star Trek universe I believe. M for mundane. 
If human were going to have the form of 'weird' in my universe there had to be a function for it. That function was obviously survival on Earth. So if humans were going to be significantly weirder, significantly tougher, significantly more dangerous than other species than Earth had to be a seriously messed up place. 
So in my universe I set Earth as the absolute extreme environment that could sustain intelligent life. Earth is a death world full of volcanoes and storms that will rip mountains down, and plagues of locusts that would devour every green thing.
In crafting the other species in this universe I began to ask questions like what would a species look like that had never once had to flee a predator? What would a species look like that couldn't conceive of the concept of a natural scarcity of resources? What would a species behave like that had never once experienced a viral pandemic? But most importantly, how would all of these soft creatures respond to humanity? 
The best summation of this concept can be found in a Tumblr post doing the rounds.  This is that post. 

Humans are Weird - Abrasive

 Humans are Weird – Abrasive


“It is very fortunate for Human Friend Sarah that you were able to come with us,” Rollstight commented as she shuffled into her transport tank. “I could not have acquired nearly so much of the samples she required with my speed over such surfaces.”
Seventh Sister gave an absent click of agreement as she continued picking up the broken fragments of the strange volcanic rock. The fragile specimen had been improperly secured in one of the mass transport’s overhead bins and only the membrane shield she was wearing when it fell had protected her from severe injury. She shifted her head underneath the protective hood and winced as the material rubbed over her antenna tasting of nothing but the synthetic fibers. She tossed the last of the fragments into the carry case and glanced around for any more. She didn’t see any and rose to her full height. She sealed the carry case and watched as Rollstight activated the air filters and the vacuum drone.
When the sensors declared the interior of the transport free of the dangerous fragments of volcanic rock Seventh Sister pulled the membrane shield with a flex of relief. She flared out her frill and extended her antenna several times. She shook out all four legs one at a time and was in the process of giving her abdomen a good flex when Rollstight gave a disgruntled hum. Seventh Sister focused her attention on her and smiled as she saw the many appendages struggling to find purchase on the sides of the tank.
“Do you require assistance?” Seventh Sister asked.
“Yes,” Rollstight admitted. “These old isolation tanks were built too large for the median mass Undulate. Could you go fetch Human Friend Mack?”
“I am capable of assisting you myself,” Seventh Sister assured her.
She tripped lightly up to the tank and offered her forearms as a point of leverage. The Undulate wrapped her gripping appendages around her primary joint politely but seemed hesitant to put any weight on the limb.
“Are you sure you are capable?” Rollstight asked. “I don’t usually climb anyone over Fifth.”
“The strength gradient is negligible between Fifth and Tenth.” Seventh Sister assured her. “And I am well above the mean strength for a Fifth.”
“You are sure of this?” Rollstight pressed. “You are not attempting to prove your usefulness to the collective by risking a stress injury?”
Seventh Sister laid her frill tight against her neck but managed to keep the offense out of her voice.
“I am not a human Rollstight!” she said.
Rollstight gave a hum of apology and held out her gripping appendages. Her weight was slightly painful but, as she had predicted, well within the tolerance of Seventh Sister’s joints. When Rollstight was safely on the floor they began to leave together.
“So what did Human Friend Sarah want with those volcanic rocks?” Rollstight asked.
“I am uncertain,” Seventh Sister said. “She said it could be used in a medical application for the problem she is having with her feet.”
“Oh yes,” Rollstight said. “Her outer membrane cracked and was bleeding if I recall correctly.”
Seventh Sister felt a shudder of horror go through her at the cavalier nature of the statement. How could reasonable people be so calm about membrane damage?
“Yes,” was all she said aloud.
“So dose the volcanic action generate the mineral complex she needs?” Rollstight asked.
“I do not think it is a mineral deficiency she is correcting,” Seventh Sister said. “Her instructions focused on the density of the air pockets in the rock and it’s general density.”
“Hey!” a cheerful human voice called out from the corridor ahead. “Is that my pumice?”
“It is Human Friend Sarah,” Rollstight answered. “We were just wondering what you wanted it for.”
“My feet!” Human Friend Sarah said cheerfully. “Got some nasty calluses from all the hiking we’ve been doing and when they split they took some live skin with them.”
“How will these mineral samples help with that?” Rollstight asked. “Will you need access to the mineral grinders?”
“Grinders?” Human Friend Sarah asked. “Nah, they’re small enough now. I just need one flat surface for the abrasion to work.”
“Abrasion?” Seventh Sister asked as Human Friend Sarah took the sample container.
Rollstight gave a hum of satisfaction and understanding.
“Well I can’t scrape off all that dead skin with cotton,” Human Friend Said with a shrug. “Thanks for getting these for me. Hope it was no trouble.”
Human Friend Sarah gave them a friendly wave as she turned and started back down the corridor. Beside Seventh Sister Rollstight lifted several appendages and waved them idly at the Shatar. Seventh Sister shook out her suddenly stiff frill and glanced down at the Undulate.
“Do you have a question Rollstight?” Seventh Sister managed to ask.
“I have never seen your frill quite that color,” Rollstight observed in surprised tones. “What does it indicate?”
“Emotional shock and some horror,” Seventh Sister admitted. “Possibly disbelief and hopefully lack of understanding.”
“Was it something Human Friend Sarah said?” Rollstight asked.
“She,” Seventh Sister began slowly, dabbing at her eyes rapidly with her proboscis in an attempt to calm herself, “she implied that she was going to use the jagged surface of the volcanic rock to scrape away the outer layer of her membrane.”
“Yes,” Rollstight agreed. “I should have been able to surmise. We do something similar for when our gripping appendages get too rough, but we usually use an abrasive paste. Gripping such a large rock must require gloves if their hands are not equally calloused as their feet.”
Seventh Sister stared down at Rollstight in quiet contemplation. She finally curled her antenna tight to her head and gave her frill a shake.
“I think I need to call my Mother,” she said as she turned and walked down the corridor.  



  Thank you all so much for your updoots and feedback. It gives me the will to go on. Want to see more? Think about becoming a Patreon.  Tea refuses to buy itself and the more time one has to spend on a day job the less time there is for befuddled aliens.  

Glitch Techs – What is This Shiny Thing – My Little Pony or Black Mirror – Analysis and Review

 Glitch Techs – What is This Shiny Thing – My Little Pony or Black Mirror – Analysis and Review


Hello my wonderful viewers and welcome to another episode of Betty Adams over-analyzes! Today we are going to take a flying leap out of our usual path and into a whole new series. Today we are going to look at the new series, “Glitch Techs”. This is another one of those wonderful blends of western animation and Japanese anime that was sort of codified in “Big Hero Six”. So let’s dive right in.  

Victory and Death – In Which the Creators Break Rex – Star Wars the Clone Wars Season 7 Episode 12

​ Victory and Death – In Which the Creators Break Rex – Star Wars the Clone Wars Season 7 Episode 12


Hello my wonderful viewers and welcome to another episode of Betty Adams over-analyzes. Today we look at season 7 episode 12 of The Clone Wars, Victory and Death. If episode 11 was a roller coaster of emotions that kept you on the edge of your seat, episode 12 was a sinking feeling in your stomach that left you at the bottom of a painfully beautiful pit of despair. This episode is a satisfying finale to the Clone Wars because it is the death of the clone wars. I have seen shows end themselves by killing off a main character before, looking at you Firefly, but I have never seen a show end itself by letting the concept die a perfectly natural death. There will be many spoilers from here on out so be warned.  

Humans are Weird - Fidget Spinning

 Humans are Weird – Fidget Spinning


“Wing Commander!” Forty-fifth Trills burst into the medical bay at full speed and had to circle the room three times before he could reduce his speed enough to land in a mostly dignified manner.
“And what madness are the humans flitting about this time?” The wing commander asked.
He patiently waited for the young Winged to catch his breath. The excitable lad was inflating and deflating nearly fifty percent with each breath and his fur was positively fluffed. The idle thought that the humans of the base would find it quite ‘cute’ crossed the commander’s mind as he continued tapping at his report. Forty-fifth Trills finally managed to bring his breathing under control and began hopping around the desk surface in agitation.
“You know that they warned us to not let the humans get bored?” Forty-fifth Trills demanded in the mother tongue.
The commander would have scolded him for using a language that most of the other species of the base couldn’t hear, let alone understand, but he gathered that could wait until the end of the report. Forty-fifth Trills was now quickly summarizing the various reports they had been given of how odd humans were. He seemed to be circling over the concept of boredom. He finally wound up with a summary of human viral tolerances and crouched there gasping at the commander. The wing commander let a long half second drag out before glancing at the youth.
“And what exactly,” the wing commander asked, “does this general madness have to do with you bursting into my office at the present moment?”
Forty-fifth Trills stared at him blankly for a moment before rapidly brushing his wing-hooks over his horns.
“There is a possibility that one of the humans has a virus!” Forty-fifth Trills burst out.
The wing commander instantly fluffed with concern.
“Has the human self isolated?” he demanded.
“No!” Forty-fifth Trills stated. “The human insisted he was fine.”
“What makes you conclude he had a virus?” the wing commander asked as he hurriedly began to put his desk in order.
The only thing more wing-stiff than a healthy human was an ill human but usually a direct order from a ranking officer was enough to send them to rest.
“He vomited!” Forty-fifth Trills informed with with horrified resonances in his voice but fascinated ripples in his neck fur.
The wing commander immediately took to flight at that. Forty-fifth Trills took off after him.
“The humans are in the lower docking bay,” Forty-fifth Trills told him.
“What are they doing there?” the wing commander demanded. “Didn’t they notice that one of their own was evacuating his digestive tract?”
“I am reasonably sure that is what the rest were laughing at,” Forty-fifth Trills explained.
The wing commander hovered and rotated slowly to stare at him.
“The humans were not expressing concern over their comrade?” he asked carefully.
Forty-fifth Trill chirped a confused affirmative.
“Humans usually take far more care of their flight-mates than of each other…” he said musingly.
“Yes,” Forty-fifth Trills agreed as they set off down the corridor at a more sedate pace.
They reached the docking bay in question and were greeted by an encouraging chant. The humans were circled around an open space. There were two circles marked out on the floor in tape. In roughly the center of the circles was a human holding a broom, and spinning. Their head was bent over to touch the tip of the broom handles to their forehead and their feat danced around the broom and they spun their center of mass around and around.
Forty-fifth Trills noted one particular human who was a distinctly different shade of health than the rest and pointed him out with a chirp. They flew over to the human. One Junior Ranger Bryzinke, and chirped for permission to land on his shoulders. He grinned at them and held out his arm. The landed and crept close to his ear to be heard over the chanting.
“Are you well Bryzinke?” the wing commander asked.
“Pretty good,” Bryzinke said with a shrug. “I cleaned up the mess I made and drank some water. Fortunately most of them have stronger stomachs than I do.”
“What exactly happened,” the wing commander asked.
The human gave a massive snort of laughter.
“What usually happens when a human spins to fast,” he said. “The inner ear objects to the brain and the brain orders the stomach to punish the body until the spinning stops.”
The chanting suddenly reached a crescendo and the two spinning humans dropped the brooms and staggered towards a pair of towels, each holding the clutter of a disassembled personal projectile weapon. They fell to their knees and began groping at the parts.
“What are they doing?” the wing commander asked.
“It’s a timed competition,” Bryzinke explained. “I was disqualified for chucking but Reeds there had a real chance to win this. She says she was the base champion back in her cadet days.”
Reed suddenly doubled over and clutched her head with a groan.
“Course those were more than a few years ago,” Bryzinke said with a sympathetic wince.
“I would like you to report to the medical bay so I can scan the results of this game,” the wing commander finally said.
“Sure thing,” Bryzinke said with a nod. “Soon as we’re done here.”


 Thank you all so much for your updoots and feedback. It gives me the will to go on. Want to see more? Think about becoming a Patreon.Tea refuses to buy itself and the more time one has to spend on a day job the less time there is for befuddled aliens.  

Shattered – The Emotions of the Viewers – Star Wars the Clone Wars Season 7 Episode 11

 Shattered – The Emotions of the Viewers – Star Wars the Clone Wars Season 7 Episode 11


Hello my wonderful viewers and welcome to another episode of Betty Adams over-analyzes. Today we look at season 7 episode 11 of The Clone Wars, Shattered. And whoooo BOY! Is this a well named episode. Aside from any internal meaning this episode was meant to shatter the emotions of every fan and every casual viewer. This episode seems to make every moment of the slow world-building episodes worth the wait. However the episode is so self contained that if this was the only fragment of Star Wars you had ever seen it would still pack a powerful punch. So let’s jump right in. There will be spoilers of every sort so be warned if you haven’t seen this episode yet.  

The Phantom Apprentice – Shades, Shadows, Heartbreak – Star Wars the Clone Wars Season 7 Episode 10

 The Phantom Apprentice – Shades, Shadows, Heartbreak – Star Wars the Clone Wars Season 7 Episode 10


Hello my wonderful viewers and welcome to another episode of Betty Adams over-analyzes. Today we look at Star Wars the Clone Wars Season 7 episode 10, The Phantom Apprentice. If the last few episodes were a little slow this is the episode that makes them worth the wait. This is what the show was building towards. There are a hundred wonderful things going on in this episode that drag you emotions around every which way. You truly do not know what is going to happen from moment to moment. The artistry of the imagery bleeds down from past centuries and summons ghosts of actually fallen Empires and Republics to bring this fall and resurrection to life. So lets get to it!  

Old Friends Not Forgotten – Beautiful Artistry – Star Wars the Clone Wars Season 7 Episode 9

​ Hello my wonderful viewers and welcome to another episode of Betty Adams over-analyzes. Today we look at season 7 episode 9 of the clone wars. “Old Friends Not Forgotten”.
In a crowded section of well lit space the episode opens in classic Clone Wars fashion. We swoop in over an orbital battle and down into the atmosphere of the planet the forces of the clones and the Separatists droids are fighting over today. The sky is a brilliant blue and the clones are surging across a bridge towards a wall of droids. The show immediately sets the tone with a well work plot device. The camera lingers on a group of clones, not letting you know which ones you should root for. Will the aggressive clone with the dirty armor be the hero of this episode? Or the cautious clone with the extra tech on his helmet. One by one the show takes a few seconds to attach you to each character and then kills them in turn.