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August 21, 2023

Humans are Weird – Widdle Pawsies

Picture  Humans are Weird – Widdle Pawsies


St’ckckc darted between the medicine cabinet, the archaic synthesizer that was grumbling out error vibrations as it tried to output something useful, and the display that listed what painkillers were acceptable for use in large omnivorous mammals. She roundly cursed whatever shortsighted fool had not sent the medical updates with the human engineer who currently lay sprawled over a pile of packing crates and thermal insulation layers, in what he had assured her in his lucid moments, was ‘jus’ tha’ righ’ shape for a busted leg.
The synthesizer gave a pathetic whine as it gave up on its current assignment and spat out an odd yellow powder. St’ckck darted over and dedicated three appendages to resetting the tower cursed thing to try again. She had cleaned out the intake and output spinners, and entered the chemical formula for...it was a plant product she thought, some sort of giant, broad petteled flour, an extract from the seed. Not the best painkiller mentioned in the human’s personal data logs, but the only one of those few options that their frayed old machine could hope to produce on its best day.
“St’ckckc?” a voice called with hesitant clicks.
St’ckckc spun around her center of mass and faced her assistant, a fluffy hatchling of a graduate student the University had sent her. He instantly cringed, dropping his abdomen to the floor, pulling his legs in, and even, weaver help him, reaching up to pat the sensory hairs over his eyes down. It occurred to St’ckckc how she must look, her remaining hairs puffed out in every direction, her abdomen raised higher than her first joints, her chelicerae spread as if she was going to bite his head off as the human had said, and despite her own near panic she found herself chuckling with amusement at the horrified guilt in that fuzzy little face.
“You haven’t done anything wrong,” she reassured him, addressing what would certainly have been her first fear if a superior had greeted her like that in her own fluffy days. “I am just cracking my joints trying to get miracles out of our old junk.”
Pt’spt slowly stood up, holding his legs in a very uneasy agreement.
“What did you want to speak to me about?” St’ckckc asked with a sigh.
“Human Friend Hàoyǔ,” Pt’spt began, still poised a bit uneasily close to a submissive crouch, “I think he is beginning to show, either a symptom of his illness, or perhaps a side effect of the attempted medication.”
St’ckckc gave a huff of exasperation and skittered towards the old storage hanger they had repurposed for the human’s use.
“I was preparing his lunch,” Pt’spt expanded as they went. “I was brewing him a nice broth and you know how your caudal most leg just kinds of comes up and circles around when your gripping legs are stirring something of that volume?”
“No,” St’ckckc stated with a dry click.
“Well,” Pt’spt said and she could see him recalibrating his approach. “Humans Friend Hàoyǔ wasn’t really watching me at first, he has not been very focused since we medicated him with that local plant.”
Both of them winced uneasily and tried not to think about ethics committees waiting for them back at the University.
“Well,” Pt’spt went on, “at some point I noticed that he had focused.”
St’ckckc clicked with relief.
“Good, I was concerned about his lack of interaction,” she replied.
“But,” Pt’spt quickly protested, “he was interacting with my leg.”
St’ckckc stopped and rotated her body to put him fully in her primary cone of vision.
“With your leg…” she said.
They stared at each other in confusion long past the point of politeness before St’ckckc simply turned and entered the human’s room. Human Friend Hàoyǔ on his improvised bed filled nearly a quarter of the space. His bifocal eyes were obviously unfocused and the stiffness of his free limbs were more of an indication of his suffering than the restraints and bandages on his restrained limbs. They watched their injured friend in silence for several moments before the random flicking of his eyes landed on them and he forced his face into a smile. St’ckckc repressed a shudder. She had never been particularly fond of the human gesture, but it turned out that a fake smile, a smile forced through pain was far, far more disturbing than a genuine smile, though she could not articulate how one twisting of the fleshy mammalian face was so different from another.
“Hey,” the human slurred out in barely understandable words, and by the web there was pain in his very voice, “got news from tha sheep?”
“The Shatar medical transport is arriving in the expected…” St’ckckc cut herself off as the human’s focus, so clear and easy to determine thanks to those concentric circles visible on his eyes, shifted from her face to her paw.
The human raised one finger and waved it at her in a greeting. Uncertain what to do, she simply replied with a hesitant wave. Human Friend Hàoyǔ giggled, winced as the sound caused his leg pain, and waved his finger again. Once more St’ckckc returned the gesture, a bit wider this time to track what he was actually focusing on.
“Human Friend Hàoyǔ,” she said in the gentlest tone she could manage. “Can you tell me why you are so interested in my leg?”
The human drew in a large breath and his face spread into a true smile.
“Paws,” he breathed, “you’se, you guys, little spider guys, ya’ got cute widdle paws.”
He giggled again, and grimaced again as the movement sent pain through the shattered remains of his endoskeleton. St’ckckc shot a quick glance at the screen that still showed that the rate of the blood pooling outside of his circulatory system was stable. Behind her Pt’spt raised a paw and slowly waved it back and forth. This quite successfully distracted Human Friend Hàoyǔ from his pain and his eyes followed the movement with intense focus.
“Cute. Widdle. Pawsies,” the human breathed out.
“I suspect,” St’ckckc finally said, “as his vitals have not noticeably changed, that this is more likely to be a result of the plant we treated him with than any change in his state of damage.”
On the improvised bed below them the smiling human was following Pt’spt’s movements with both eyes and two sets of fingers.
“I wonder if the Earth based plant that matches its profile does this to humans?” Pt’spt asked, his fur fluffing with interest now that it was clear his friend was in less pain.
The youngster was clearly trying to see how far he could get the human to mimic his movements now. The human giggle-winced again, and whispered.
“How come I never noticed the pawsies before?”
“Why would a human deliberately put themselves in this state if they were not injured?” St’ckckc asked. “Please don’t incite him to move too far. I’m going to try and extract a proper pain killer from the synthesizer.


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Published on August 21, 2023 15:34

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August 14, 2023

Humans are Weird - Local Attraction

Picture  Humans are Weird – Local Attraction


Shuffelsleft gently probed the coral with the sensor and was not surprised when the reading showed a distinct decrease in conductivity. He gave a dissatisfied hum and pushed off the bottom to let the current take him to the next test point on this spiral. Shuffelsleft tried to mentally swim against the current of his, admittedly overeager, expectations. Breeding local fauna to suit the needs of colonists was far and away the best current to make new worlds livable. It was only natural that the process of selecting for desirable traits would take many generations of breeding. Even with the advanced zeno-genetics the Shatar had traded them you still had to let the specimens grow to maturity before you could really sound out their actual phenotypes. Of course he theoretically sounded all this long before he left the comforting cuddle of his university pod, in practical application he was finding it hard not to get a bit despondent.
“I should find a happy human to snuggle,” he observed to the golden toned lights that filtered through the waters around him.
“A very good idea,” the voice of his partner agreed from somewhere on the other side of the test reef.
“It is depressing to be out of sight and pheromone range like this,” Shuffelsleft said, acutely feeling the inadequacy of purely sound communication.
“Quite,” agreed the voice. “We will have a good cuddle once we are done with this row, but I think your idea is splendid. We should do that at the end of our work tide.”
Shuffelsleft pondered over this as he probed the next coral body.
“I was only expressing a wish,” he said as he took the reading and moved on. “I do not wish to make any demands of a human’s emotional state. They will attempt to fake a mood if they sound that it will float your spirits.”
“Oh yes!” agreed the voice, and this time a wave of appendages was visible over one of the test reefs, “but there is a location for that now!”
Shuffelsleft let his trailing appendages wave in confusion for several seconds before he remembered that his companions could no more see him than the reverse.
“A location?” Shuffelsleft asked.
“The baby seal-snake hatchery!” his companion stated. “It does not matter what the human’s colors are when they enter the brooding pools. Once they have begun to interact with the baby seal-snakes who are being socialized their stripes just glow with joy.”
“Don’t they mind being disturbed during a task?” Shuffelsleft asked.
“Well you have to help them,” his companion explained. “They really only have two griping appendages when you get right to the core of it, and this can distress them when they have more than two baby seal-snakes to touch-socialize. If you offer to cling to their backs and pat all the baby seal snakes that they cannot they greatly appreciate it.”
“Can you pat the humans while you are at it?” Shuffelsleft asked, growing more interested as he rolled the idea through his appendages.
“Oh yes!” his companion enthused, bouncing high enough up so that they could see each other completely. “In fact they expect it, and because of their neural bi-lateral symmetry if there one appendages is petting a baby seal-snake, there is a very good chance that the appendage they are paying less attention to will pet you!”
“And they are sure to be really happy while petting the baby seal-snakes?” Shuffelsleft sounded one more time as he moved towards the next sample site.
“It is more than that,” his companion assured him. “You can actually see the human glowing, not just happier, but healthier.”
“No wonder they are putting so much effort into breeding human friendliness into them,” Shuffelsleft observed.
“Let’s finish up this reef and swim over,” his companion said. I could use a cuddle with a happy human too.”
The data collection went well and they reached their transport long before the second sun was beginning to set. The seal-snake domestication reefs were on the way back to their sleeping pools and somewhat to Shuffelsleft’s surprise there was quite the little pod of transports docked at the bulky, overly square floats the humans preferred. They secured their transport beside the others and shuffled towards the main enclosure. Soft human murmuring drifted through the thin atmosphere. Shuffelsleft passed through the main gate where a very cheerful human greeted them, and then he saw what his companion had meant.
The staff of the domestication project had let the juvenile seal-snakes out into a circular area that was mostly taken up with a shallow pool. Around this was a dry sandy shelf that the humans preferred when interacting with proper swimming water. Currently the baby seal-snakes outnumbered the humans about three to one and were wriggling delightedly around the large mammals.
Some humans cradled one baby seal-snake to their chests. Some humans sent their patting appendages darting after one baby seal-snake and then another. Some humans were letting baby seal-snakes grab their petting appendages and play fight with them.
All of the humans glowed with joy. Colors of fascination and delight rippled down their exposed skin and Shuffelsleft felt his appendages dance with his own reflected joy.
“And they really won’t mind if we join?” Shuffelsleft asked.
“Not a bit!” his companion assured him as he shuffled down into the pool. “Pick a human and start cuddling!”


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Published on August 14, 2023 08:50

August 13, 2023

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August 7, 2023

Humans are Weird – Blissful Isolation

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Humans are Weird – Blissful Isolation


Notes the Passing Changes was for the most part content as the plants around the colony reacted in their sluggish, early spring way to the slow steady rain. The spring rains were within expected limits and the flooding had not reached the raised dry sanctuaries that had been prepared in the fall. Notes the Passing Changes did not think that a single one of the main biomass clusters had been cut off, nor had the connecting tendrils been frost damaged. Notes the Passing Changes decided that it was more than past time to offer thanks to the humans who had been the primary force in digging the channels and mounding the soil that allowed this comfort and efficiency.
Most of the humans in the colony had participated in the work the previous fall, however they had done so because Pat had put forth a great effort to convince them that maintaining Notes the Passing Changes’ mass against the losses from winter rumination was a benefit to them the whole colony, and Pat himself had done far and away the greatest amount of physical labor of any of the humans. Moreover the human male had been out in the spring rain this very morning to check the barriers that controlled the necessary but potentially dangerous flooding in some of the orchards. Notes the Passing Changes had observed that in repairing the barriers Pat had gotten thoroughly soaked. The nutrient and mineral rich water of the flooded orchard must have worked its way under his hydrophobic outer layers and soaked his inner absorbent layers by the way the human had been walking at the end of the task.
Yes, Notes the Passing Changes mused as the necessary awareness began to flow into the communication ecosystem in the human’s house, now would be a very good time to extend a friendly tendril to the wet and tired human. Growing awareness in the leaves of the plant the humans favored for this form of communication allowed Notes the Passing Changes to determine that the leaves of the plant were a dark green to human eyes. Apparently they had some issues with a very pale yellow or white face forming from leaves, and maintaining enough chlorophyll in an indoor plant in winter was a bit tricky but could be managed. The plant was particularly well today as the moisture content in the air of the human dwelling was both warmer and had a higher moisture content than usual. Notes the Passing Changes carefully abstained from tapping into the plants sight, though it was a tricky maneuver mentally, and carefully vibrated the sound producing tendrils that were now left semi-permanently in the vascular system of the plant.
“Yo! Notes!” a cheerful human voice greeted him. “Come on in!”
“Sandy,” Notes the Passing Changes greeted the female human as the visual feed from the room integrated with the central awareness network. “I would like to extend my thanks to Pat for his efforts in preparing my biomass for the spring floods. I have been very comfortable so far and have lost no relevant mass.”
“Well I’m sure he’d love to hear that,” Sandy said beaming a smile at the plant which Notes the Passing Changes had formed into a rough impression of a face. “He’s in the shower though so you can just chant with me till he’s out.”
“He is in the shower?” Notes the Passing Changes asked, making sure to add surprised and curiosity to the tones.
“Aye,” Sandy said with a glance of sympathy at the door of the bathroom from where the warm moisture was issuing. “Poor lad was chilled to the bone.”
“He was wet,” Notes the Passing Changes said in a thoughtful tone, “so he is resolving the issue by an extended period of greater wetness?”
Sandy nodded.
“Hot water warms you up,” she said when Notes the Passing Changes did not indicate that he understood. “Human skin pick up a temp change way better from water than from air, and he had to get the muck and grit off of him.”
“Surely he has had ample time to both raise his internal temperature and cleanse the nutrients from his skin,” Notes the Passing Changes observed, angling the leaves representing his eyes at the bathroom door. “He did not appear to be hypothermic.”
“It’s an, emotional thing,” Sandy explained. “We don’t always have time to shower as long as we’d like. He was cold, and dirty, and miserable. Well the water fixes the cold and the dirty, but after you are all clean? Well, nothing helps the miserable fade away like leaning yourself against the wall, turning the water on as hot as you can stand, closing your eyes and just letting the water flow. He’ll come out when he’s not thinking about the cold and the clouds and sloshing thought cold, black water in wet socks anymore.”



Author Betty Adams Books
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Published on August 07, 2023 11:58

August 6, 2023

August 3, 2023