Robyn Dolan's Blog, page 3

Rest in Peace, Mrs. Susie

Time flies over the holidays. Still, some significant things have happened in the last couple of months, so I will go ahead and post a few journal entries, even though they’re a few weeks old.

11/18/2021 Thursday

Susie died

on Tuesday (11/16/21). She was a good 14 years old, so it was going to happen sometime in the next couple of years. Just when I’m starting to feel productive, another heartbreak. But that is life. I pray that this will be it for a while. As a person can only take so much. And I have plenty of other stressors, thank you.

Grieving is in full swing. But I know in a couple of weeks I will seek out a new pup to rescue me. To rescue us because we all loved her. Especially the cat. He went off his feed when she did while she was sick. And he’s still not quite back up to the pig-cat that he is. Although he’s not exactly moping around either. I explain to him what happened as though he can understand. I’m not sure he fully does but I guess he will eventually. No telling what he’s going to do when the newcomer shows up.

 I miss my dog’s soft snoring at night. And having to watch out for her when I walk down the hall or through my room. I miss her following me outside to work in the garden or hang clothes. I miss her joining forces with Mr. Cuddles at feeding time to urge me into action so that they don’t starve to death. I miss using her as an excuse to get my dad out walking around the block, the park, or even just to accompany us on a day trip. 

I also pray for the new pup.

That I will find the right one. Susie was amazing. After a while, she stopped running off. Even though she didn’t like traveling she would tolerate going in the RV just so she could be with us. After eight years as a Ranch Dog, she took to the city quite nicely. She learned to use the doggie door quickly, and she loved her life of luxury. A new dog will have to learn all the things. Hopefully, it will be housebroken. But there is the doggie door, and the neighbors’ dogs, and not running off. On a ranch, it’s not so bad but here in the city, right next to the highway, not so good. As long as he or she realizes that the cat is in charge, they will do fine. So I need to get to that spot where I am ready to deal with training in the new guy. We will see what God has in store for me there.

In the meantime, I hope my many pups of the past are making Mrs. Susie very welcome across that Rainbow Bridge. I miss them all. and I look forward to the next one. Rest in peace, Mrs. Susie, my friend.

The post Rest in Peace, Mrs. Susie appeared first on Robyn Dolan.

Opportunities to Practice Patience

11 8 2021 Monday

Opportunities to practice patience

Took Dad to Mass today. The homily was about patience. Or more specifically, opportunities to practice patience. Sometimes I wish that God would not give me quite so many such opportunities.

But I jest. I often pray for help to be more kind and more patient with my dad. I tend to fall into single-mindedness and focus on what I want to accomplish instead of how I want to behave. In other words, I want to get all kinds of things done and I sometimes get more focused on the result than on the journey.

That is when I need to slow down and look around me. To see the people there and the pets there. And just take the time to interact with them in a kind way. Results happen and sometimes a perfect result is less satisfying than a happy relationship.

The post Opportunities to Practice Patience appeared first on Robyn Dolan.

Horse is Happy, Dog can Walk

11 4 2021 Thursday

Horse is happy, dog can walk.

Received an update on my horse. He is fat and happy on his sweet feed and soaked hay pellets. He’s getting back out – with the herd and without them. He likes feeling like he’s king-of-the-mountain apparently. I am happy for him. Also, the dog is doing much better. I have to say that this vet is not my regular vet but the only one who could see her on a Sunday. He has done a phenomenal job with her ear infection. She has gone from staggering, to getting in and out of the doggie door on her own and eating and drinking on her own. She is on several medications and it still will be a few weeks with her infection clearing up. But I am very pleased with this vet.

I also can’t stress enough how important it is and what a difference it makes to get enough sleep. Getting 7 hours straight is all the difference between midday and after-dinner narcolepsy and productivity. It also helps with the inevitable annoyances of dealing with Dad’s dementia.

Speaking of which, had a nice afternoon with Dad. Had to put the sides down on the sunshade. I harvested some arugula and picked the leaves off the stems for our daily salad. Dad read. It was so relaxing sitting in the back garden. In spite of the mess of pulled weeds and trimmings from the grapevines and citrus trees lying about. Harvested more lemons and grapefruit and still tons on the trees. Just a little bit of sun is enough for us and we soon went back inside the cooler house.

Horse is happy, dog can walk.

The post Horse is Happy, Dog can Walk appeared first on Robyn Dolan.

It’s Like That Sometimes

11/2/21 Tuesday

I have gone through the last few days by rote. Just trying to get the most important stuff done and get through the day. It’s like that sometimes.

Or maybe it’s like that most of the time. No deep revelations. No startling discoveries. No great adventures. Just one foot in front of the other. And that’s okay.

Halloween was once again a bit disappointing but better than last year. Understandable under the circumstances.

https://www.pinterest.com/robyndolanauthor/food_drink/holiday-special/

I bought way less candy and I got rid of all of it. Except for what I stashed for us.

I made some fun party food for our little threesome.

And we definitely enjoyed eating it.

It’s like that sometimes.

The post It’s Like That Sometimes appeared first on Robyn Dolan.

Nesting

10/27/21 Wednesday

Nesting

I don’t want to call it burnout because I don’t really feel burned out but I do feel like I need to do some nesting. Just shelter in place at home.

Last week was very eventful. The horse and dog bookended it with their medical issues. It was also lots of fun. I went to a couple of English Country dances and a dance class. Took Dad and the dog to the park. Took Dad to the Huntington Library. 

So I think between the good stress and the not-so-good stress I just need some quiet time. I watched a fantastic video on this by one of my favorite YouTubers Carolyn’s RV life where she talks about RV burnout. And as a former full-time rver before I came here to care for Dad, I can confirm that either way we take our life with us. I am using many of my RV and homesteading skills here in the city and I took many of the city stresses with me on the road and to the homestead. But the point is that many of Carolyn’s tips are good for whatever point in life you are and the point is to take care of yourself. Or else you’re no good to others. And so this week I am nesting.

The post Nesting appeared first on Robyn Dolan.

The Medical Merry Go Round

10/25/21 Monday

Caregivers by nature have to deal with lots of doctors appointments. But what they don’t tell you is that’s not just for your loved one. I call it The Medical Merry Go Round.

I’m trying to get my youngest son and me caught up on our health care issues. Eyes, teeth, baseline health stats, etcetera.

And now my horse who is in my daughter’s care has decided that he wants to be on oatmeal and mashed potatoes for the rest of his life. Actually, he’s losing teeth, and the ones he has do not sufficiently help him to chew his forage. So he needs to be on a senior feed and on hay pellets that can be soaked so that he can chew them. 

Nextly my dog decided to grow another massive ear infection. How could I miss this? This is her third serious ear infection in10 years. I guess they space themselves far enough apart that I don’t recognize symptoms soon enough. Anyway, so I spent Sunday afternoon and evening at the vet. And most of the night helping her through withdrawals from anesthesia and her frustration that her back legs would not do what she wanted them to do. 

But now we have feed options sorted out with the horse. And Mrs.Susie is once again ambulatory. So I am dispensing medications to an elder, a dog, and today I get to go to the dentist and have the left side of my mouth made new again. I will try and make sense of all this as my anesthesia is wearing off. In between naps.

And hopefully, figure out how to pay for The Medical Merry Go Round.

The post The Medical Merry Go Round appeared first on Robyn Dolan.

Primal Scream as Coping Mechanism

10/21/21 Thursday

Took Dad and Susie to the park today. Dad’s dementia behaviors were slowly building up annoyance in me. He finally started doing this thing where he clicks his thumbnails together. So I asked him to stop and he asked why it bothered me. I said I hadn’t delved into the psychological aspect of that but it just did. While my mind screamed, “just stop having dementia!” Somehow that internal primal scream just put everything back into focus. And the deep breaths actually calmed me down instead of not helping at all.

I often do that internal primal scream when I get annoyed with Dad. I am not sure where it came from. I just wanted to stop reacting and making snarky or mean comments. So I would just keep my mouth shut and “aaaaarrgh!!!” in my mind. It seems to work just as well as doing it out loud. Minus the sore throat, lol. Anyway, coping mechanisms.

The post Primal Scream as Coping Mechanism appeared first on Robyn Dolan.

Slowing life down

10/19/2021 Tuesday

Life proceeds at a frenetic pace. I feel the need to return to my homesteading lifestyle for the purpose of slowing life down.

I frequently find myself asking why am I rushing? Is this activity really necessary? What am I in a hurry to get to?

One of my intentions in moving out to the country years ago was slowing life down. And yet I tend to bring the frenetic pace with me wherever I go. I have gotten a lot better over the years but especially living back in the big city, it is almost automatic to shift back into overdrive and get stressed. So intentionally returning to homesteading activities: hanging clothes on the line, feeding the neighborhood birds, tending to goldfish in my fountain, taking my dad and the dog for walks, canning, preserving, sewing, and numerous other activities. I think you get the picture. Theoretically, this helps me not to rush.

I keep a schedule outline because I just need to have something to look at to get myself moving sometimes. But then I get tied to the hour designations and get in a hurry and have to stop and think, as Captain Barbarossa says about the pirate’s code in Pirates of the Caribbean, “It’s more like a set of guidelines.”

Another reason I schedule myself is so that I don’t over-schedule myself. I put all my desired activities on the calendar so that I know what my options are and then every week I do a schedule for the week, choose which activities I’m going to do, and that’s it. I limit myself to a certain number of outings, a certain number of appointments, and I have to have a lot of free and flexible time in there to adapt and be available for things that come up. Like emergencies. Or a sale on turkey that fills up my freezer so that I need to do a bunch of canning. Or dad needs a haircut.

And yet anxiety still sneaks up on me. So I guess it is one day at a time. Learning to let go and be flexible. And not take myself too seriously. And keep working on the process of slowing life down.

The post Slowing life down appeared first on Robyn Dolan.

A New Writing Challenge

10/17/2021 Sunday

Today I give myself a new writing challenge.

Working at home is hard enough without other distractions. It is no easier when caregiving an elder than it was when raising a toddler or homeschooling my youngest child. I suppose that my priority is always the family and secondarily the job but either way it’s not easy.

So my challenge to myself now is to write a few sentences a day (or maybe every couple days) for my blog. Not on any particular topic and not particularly polished but at least to get something out here. I will emphasize my lifestyle of caregiving, homesteading, homeschooling, and sustainability. And I might give a peek into my works in progress. Which aren’t progressing much at the moment for the above reasons.

My hope is that you’ll find encouragement, inspiration, and maybe a little entertainment, while I share a little insight into my daily life and thoughts. And maybe once in awhile I’ll even get a useful article finished.

Just a footnote, I do have comments turned off. Because the only ones I seem to get are hundreds of links to unsavory sites and Russian spam. So if you would like to respond to this article feel free to email me by clicking the envelope or email link in the sidebar. Thanks.

[image error]

The post A New Writing Challenge appeared first on Robyn Dolan.

And Along Comes Summer

And along comes summer. Well, it’s not officially summer yet but Southern California is heading into its first heat wave. Spring did, indeed, bring hope. And along comes summer to prove it. Dodger Stadium is gearing up for 40,000 fans. Little League is more than half way through. Our church has opened daily Mass to the public and is getting ready to move Sunday Masses from the parking lot to inside the church next month. The Historical Tea and Dance Society and the Valley Area English Regency Society are getting ready to start up in person dancing in a few weeks. The Long Beach Community Band is starting outdoor rehearsals this week. You could say we’re all pretty anxious to get back to living life.

On the other hand, freeways are crowding up – didn’t any of these people learn to work from home? Cinemas and restaurants are open. I’m still saying “no thanks” to indoor dining for now. And as much as I enjoy the movie house experience, I’ll wait on that, too. School’s out – yay! I love my grands but I do not appreciate the school system in my living room. Hey, I started homeschooling to get away from that!

I have learned some valuable lessons through all this social distancing.

1 – social distancing is okay.

I am not a freak because I prefer to avoid crowds.

2 – the slow life is good.

I am so tired of being overscheduled that I refuse to allow myself to go back to that. Believe it or not, even if you work at home, homeschool, and homestead, you can still overschedule yourself.

3 – old-timey skills are relaxing and empowering.

Gardening, sewing, journaling, playing music, crocheting (in case you don’t realize that’s encompassed by sewing), cooking from scratch, all help me provide for my needs and my family, without spending a lot of money.

4 – using what I have will save the planet.

Instead of filling up my garbage cans and then buying cheap made-in-China plastics, I am making myself repurpose everything I possibly can. Mending clothes, reusing plastic packaging, bottles, tin cans – a little paint and imagination can go a long way. Hmm, I think I see another book on the horizon. Junk mail and paper and cardboard packaging make great paper logs and firestarters for the fireplace.

5 – basic repairs are doable.

Sometimes it is indeed best to call the pros. But for stuff like unclogging drains and toilets, replacing washers, belts, and water pumps, and cleaning the lint out of dryer vents and vacuum hoses, well, once again, empowering and money-saving.

So many of my homesteading skills have brought me through this period and helped my family to thrive. My goal is to keep on keeping it simple going forward. To stay out of the rat race and hopefully to help others to do so, too.

And along comes summer.

The post And Along Comes Summer appeared first on Robyn Dolan.