Ed Halliday's Blog
May 1, 2020
New Release
These are peculiar times for all of us and very sad times for many of us who have lost friends or relatives to this dreadful virus.
For me personally being confined quite strictly as we are here in France, it has meant that I could procrastinate no longer, and so have just released my newest tale,
the magic ingredient which is available as a Kindle or paperback book.
Hope you enjoy it.
Cheers, Ed
Ed Halliday author of The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, The Grinning Dog, the almost perfect plot, pigs in paradise, Breakfast at Sid's, Burnt Toast and Bent Noses
For me personally being confined quite strictly as we are here in France, it has meant that I could procrastinate no longer, and so have just released my newest tale,
the magic ingredient which is available as a Kindle or paperback book.
Hope you enjoy it.
Cheers, Ed
Ed Halliday author of The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, The Grinning Dog, the almost perfect plot, pigs in paradise, Breakfast at Sid's, Burnt Toast and Bent Noses
May 28, 2017
New Release
Hi.
Just a quick note to let you all know that the new Ed Halliday is now available on Kindle (unlimited and otherwise) and also paperback.
Breakfast at Sid's is my usual mix of mayhem, madness and a few twists and turns along the way. The minute Sidney Angel is rudely awoken by someone smashing his front door down, he knows he is going to have one hell of a day! He isn't wrong. Given little choice and only twenty four hours on the clock, he has to find a missing gangster, a large bag of cash, rescue a maiden or two in distress and manage to stay alive, and all before breakfast the next morning. Armed with nothing but a fierce hangover, bacon sandwiches and a grim determination to get some answers to his own questions, he gets to work. Aided of course by his trusty dog, Wilson.
Hope you all enjoy it.
Cheers, Ed Halliday
Just a quick note to let you all know that the new Ed Halliday is now available on Kindle (unlimited and otherwise) and also paperback.
Breakfast at Sid's is my usual mix of mayhem, madness and a few twists and turns along the way. The minute Sidney Angel is rudely awoken by someone smashing his front door down, he knows he is going to have one hell of a day! He isn't wrong. Given little choice and only twenty four hours on the clock, he has to find a missing gangster, a large bag of cash, rescue a maiden or two in distress and manage to stay alive, and all before breakfast the next morning. Armed with nothing but a fierce hangover, bacon sandwiches and a grim determination to get some answers to his own questions, he gets to work. Aided of course by his trusty dog, Wilson.
Hope you all enjoy it.
Cheers, Ed Halliday
April 2, 2017
Large print
Hello again.
Following comments from a friend of mine who is visually impaired, it has come to my attention that there are very few books available in large print! I am ashamed to say that I am also one of the culprits in this and am working on resolving this forthwith.
I have started the process of republishing my existing works in large print, the almost perfect plot will be available in the next 48 hrs, and the others will follow.
My next book, (Bullets, Bacon and a Guardian Angel), which is just being published at the moment will be available in large print from day one.
Cheers, Ed Halliday
Author of:-the almost perfect plot, pigs in paradise, The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, The Grinning Dog, Burnt Toast and Bent Noses
Following comments from a friend of mine who is visually impaired, it has come to my attention that there are very few books available in large print! I am ashamed to say that I am also one of the culprits in this and am working on resolving this forthwith.
I have started the process of republishing my existing works in large print, the almost perfect plot will be available in the next 48 hrs, and the others will follow.
My next book, (Bullets, Bacon and a Guardian Angel), which is just being published at the moment will be available in large print from day one.
Cheers, Ed Halliday
Author of:-the almost perfect plot, pigs in paradise, The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, The Grinning Dog, Burnt Toast and Bent Noses
November 24, 2016
black humour friday
Hi.
Apparently it's black Friday coming up, so I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon and offer all of my books on Kindle at 99c or 99p depending where you are.
Enjoy.
Cheers,
Ed Halliday
Author of:- The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, the almost perfect plot, Burnt Toast and Bent Noses, The Grinning Dog, pigs in paradise
Apparently it's black Friday coming up, so I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon and offer all of my books on Kindle at 99c or 99p depending where you are.
Enjoy.
Cheers,
Ed Halliday
Author of:- The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, the almost perfect plot, Burnt Toast and Bent Noses, The Grinning Dog, pigs in paradise
November 14, 2016
Getting old? Me? Surely not.
It’s a big question, I know, but how do you know when you are getting old? Is it when you start to see grey hairs? I certainly hope not as that would put an awful lot of us in the ‘one foot in the grave’ category very quickly. Lines in your face deep enough to lose a cotton bud in, never to be seen again? Possibly. Commenting on how young policemen look these days? Just using the sentence ‘these days’ must surely qualify.
For some time I have been trying to ignore this question in the hope that it will just go away and no one will notice that I am any different to how I was twenty years ago, but it keeps poking it’s head up, like the troll in the story of the Billy Goats Gruff, and shouting “who’s that trip trapping over my bridge with their zimmer frame?”
The first time I realised I might have to face the inevitable was when my 28 year old son announced that he and his wife were trying for a baby. “This would of course make you a grandfather” roared the troll as he popped his ugly head up from under the bridge.
Ok, grandfathers are generally old, but not always, and anyway they are only trying so until they announce the impending patter of tiny feet of doom the troll can stay firmly below the parapet.
And he did until last week.
I have been convincing myself for some time, whilst squinting at my manuscripts, that my eyesight is fine. Really it is. Ok, so I cooked the dinner for 30 minutes too many the other day because the inconsiderate people who package food these days had made the writing so small that you needed a radio telescope to read the instructions, but my eyes are fine, honestly. Well they are now, because I have finally got glasses. I didn’t really have the option of pretending any more, bearing in mind you really do need to be able to see in order to write for a living. My wife reckons they make me look distinguished, which is wife code for “you have reached old age but I love you so I’m not going to burst the bubble of your youthfulness” which is sweet, but…
“Lots of people wear glasses” I convinced myself, “even kids wear them" I reasoned as I pushed the trolls head firmly downwards, and then disaster.
Of all things to prompt the troll once again, it could not have been a more mundane thing. This evening I was reading the packaging on a newly purchased shower valve. Not terribly exciting I know, or terribly literary. It would be so much better to be saying “on a jar of Beluga caviar” or “on a box of Cuban cigars” but no, it was a plain ordinary shower valve, the old one having ceased to function due to lime scale apparently. I know you are now thinking “what on earth could be printed on the packaging of such an item that it might provoke such a reaction?”
Let me tell you, it was horrific.
It was an out and out boast by the manufacturer that they had been producing quality shower valves since 1981, and that you could trust a company that had been plying their trade for so many years.
“1981” I roared, “but I remember 1981 like it was yesterday! How can I entrust my waterworks to a company that only started making these things in the same year that Shakin’ Stevens was singing about a green door?”
The ugly troll smiled, and ducked back down under his bridge for a good laugh at my expense.
Cheers,
Ed Halliday
Author of:- The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, Burnt Toast and Bent Noses, the almost perfect plot, The Grinning Dog
For some time I have been trying to ignore this question in the hope that it will just go away and no one will notice that I am any different to how I was twenty years ago, but it keeps poking it’s head up, like the troll in the story of the Billy Goats Gruff, and shouting “who’s that trip trapping over my bridge with their zimmer frame?”
The first time I realised I might have to face the inevitable was when my 28 year old son announced that he and his wife were trying for a baby. “This would of course make you a grandfather” roared the troll as he popped his ugly head up from under the bridge.
Ok, grandfathers are generally old, but not always, and anyway they are only trying so until they announce the impending patter of tiny feet of doom the troll can stay firmly below the parapet.
And he did until last week.
I have been convincing myself for some time, whilst squinting at my manuscripts, that my eyesight is fine. Really it is. Ok, so I cooked the dinner for 30 minutes too many the other day because the inconsiderate people who package food these days had made the writing so small that you needed a radio telescope to read the instructions, but my eyes are fine, honestly. Well they are now, because I have finally got glasses. I didn’t really have the option of pretending any more, bearing in mind you really do need to be able to see in order to write for a living. My wife reckons they make me look distinguished, which is wife code for “you have reached old age but I love you so I’m not going to burst the bubble of your youthfulness” which is sweet, but…
“Lots of people wear glasses” I convinced myself, “even kids wear them" I reasoned as I pushed the trolls head firmly downwards, and then disaster.
Of all things to prompt the troll once again, it could not have been a more mundane thing. This evening I was reading the packaging on a newly purchased shower valve. Not terribly exciting I know, or terribly literary. It would be so much better to be saying “on a jar of Beluga caviar” or “on a box of Cuban cigars” but no, it was a plain ordinary shower valve, the old one having ceased to function due to lime scale apparently. I know you are now thinking “what on earth could be printed on the packaging of such an item that it might provoke such a reaction?”
Let me tell you, it was horrific.
It was an out and out boast by the manufacturer that they had been producing quality shower valves since 1981, and that you could trust a company that had been plying their trade for so many years.
“1981” I roared, “but I remember 1981 like it was yesterday! How can I entrust my waterworks to a company that only started making these things in the same year that Shakin’ Stevens was singing about a green door?”
The ugly troll smiled, and ducked back down under his bridge for a good laugh at my expense.
Cheers,
Ed Halliday
Author of:- The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, Burnt Toast and Bent Noses, the almost perfect plot, The Grinning Dog
September 4, 2016
Summer's over so it must be election time.
Hello again.
Well, summer seems to be receding already. The leaves are already starting to turn here in France and there is an almighty racket at around 8.30 every morning as the local children wend their way to school, whingeing and whining all the way.
So what does the winter have in store? Personally I am off to Portland Oregon for an Autumn break. As some of you may know from previous posts I am a huge fan of Portland, and a trip there will be fun although rather fattening as the food is great. The other thing I am looking forward to is the opportunity to talk to some of the local Americans about the upcoming election in the States. For those of us on this side of the pond the elections are both a fascination and a mystery (what is a caucus exactly and how does it work? explanations gratefully received). Here in Europe and Great Britain, (I thought I had better separate them based on recent events), we are all watching with anticipation as Mr Trump and Mrs Clinton battle it out to see who gets to have their finger on the button. Personally I shan't make any arguments in either direction as I don't have a vote in the USA and also it's kind of none of my business, however I do find with political choices it usually comes down to choosing who one thinks is the least likely to be detrimental rather than someone you actually want in power. Douglas Adams, when writing the Hitch Hikers Guide series, made the point that no one who wanted to be president of the universe should ever be allowed to be. Just the desire to have power needs to instantly disqualify the person seeking it, and he has a good point! From what we see in the press over here, I don't envy the American people having to make a choice. I shall watch with interest on November 8th.
Cheers,
Ed Halliday
Author of:- The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, the almost perfect plot, The Grinning Dog, pigs in paradise, Burnt Toast and Bent Noses
Well, summer seems to be receding already. The leaves are already starting to turn here in France and there is an almighty racket at around 8.30 every morning as the local children wend their way to school, whingeing and whining all the way.
So what does the winter have in store? Personally I am off to Portland Oregon for an Autumn break. As some of you may know from previous posts I am a huge fan of Portland, and a trip there will be fun although rather fattening as the food is great. The other thing I am looking forward to is the opportunity to talk to some of the local Americans about the upcoming election in the States. For those of us on this side of the pond the elections are both a fascination and a mystery (what is a caucus exactly and how does it work? explanations gratefully received). Here in Europe and Great Britain, (I thought I had better separate them based on recent events), we are all watching with anticipation as Mr Trump and Mrs Clinton battle it out to see who gets to have their finger on the button. Personally I shan't make any arguments in either direction as I don't have a vote in the USA and also it's kind of none of my business, however I do find with political choices it usually comes down to choosing who one thinks is the least likely to be detrimental rather than someone you actually want in power. Douglas Adams, when writing the Hitch Hikers Guide series, made the point that no one who wanted to be president of the universe should ever be allowed to be. Just the desire to have power needs to instantly disqualify the person seeking it, and he has a good point! From what we see in the press over here, I don't envy the American people having to make a choice. I shall watch with interest on November 8th.
Cheers,
Ed Halliday
Author of:- The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, the almost perfect plot, The Grinning Dog, pigs in paradise, Burnt Toast and Bent Noses
July 16, 2016
Nice
I think I can speak for everyone when I say that the happenings in Nice 2 days ago were as horrific as they were tragic, and my heartfelt condolences go to all those affected. As many of you may realise from my scribblings, I happen to live a short drive from Nice, and although I don't frequent the city very often, it's often enough to make me count myself lucky that I wasn't there on Thursday.
I happen to live in a tiny village, however we do have a large community of North African origin. Let me be clear, they have always been nothing but welcoming and friendly towards me, a fellow immigrant, despite my pale skin and ginger hair. I have for many years, and do still, count many of them as close friends, but there is an atmosphere of mistrust brewing. Many of the local French talk in huddles and whisper about how many Tunisians live in our peaceful little village. There are sideways glances and muttered remarks, and many who ask which side my allegiance lies.
We have all seen the immediate effect of this, and previous terrorist attacks, when watching the nine o'clock news, but there is a more profound and longer lasting effect that is yet to come to fruition, and it is rather frightening!
Cheers,
Ed Halliday
Author of:- The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, Burnt Toast and Bent Noses, The Grinning Dog, the almost perfect plot, pigs in paradise
I happen to live in a tiny village, however we do have a large community of North African origin. Let me be clear, they have always been nothing but welcoming and friendly towards me, a fellow immigrant, despite my pale skin and ginger hair. I have for many years, and do still, count many of them as close friends, but there is an atmosphere of mistrust brewing. Many of the local French talk in huddles and whisper about how many Tunisians live in our peaceful little village. There are sideways glances and muttered remarks, and many who ask which side my allegiance lies.
We have all seen the immediate effect of this, and previous terrorist attacks, when watching the nine o'clock news, but there is a more profound and longer lasting effect that is yet to come to fruition, and it is rather frightening!
Cheers,
Ed Halliday
Author of:- The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, Burnt Toast and Bent Noses, The Grinning Dog, the almost perfect plot, pigs in paradise
June 27, 2016
Cast adrift
So, as of Thursday last week I am now an immigrant in the country in which I live! One minute I was minding my own business, doing a bit of writing and enjoying the French sunshine washed down with a glass of grape juice or three, and then overnight my fellow Englishmen voted to cast me adrift. No longer can I call myself European, I am now an immigrant, which is a bit of a shock!
Don't get me wrong, the locals have been very supportive, and have only slightly smirked when asking when will I return to the treacherous UK. Luckily it's just good hearted banter, although I suspect I will tire of the jokes long before the local French do.
It is a bizarre feeling though, walking down the street in the village where I have now lived for several years and feeling like I no longer belong. There is also the question of legal and tax changes, will I be allowed to stay? If yes then how many hoops will I have to jump through? And many many more All of this does give one an unsettled feeling, and it's really not a pleasant one.
This brings me to the sticky topic of the kind of immigrants that headline the news bulletins. The poor souls who cross seas and whole countries to get to Europe. One of the key factors in the Brexit referendum was the question of immigration and the fear that remaining in the EU would mean that Britain will be flooded with foreign population. Trust me, I am experiencing the feeling of not belonging and facing an uncertain future in only a very mild way, so I think I can safely say that those who travel in desperation because they are in real need will have bigger fears than mine. They will only ever contemplate these huge migratory journeys if they have no option, and the fear that a lot of the British population have that countries such as Turkey will empty out and flood the streets of Britain are unfounded. No-one likes to feel that they don't belong, and no-one wants to live in a place where they don't fit in, not unless staying in your place of birth is a truly horrific option.
On a closing note, I just hope that this all gets resolved quickly. Not only for my peace of mind, but for the general turmoil this one vote is causing the world over.
Cheers, Ed Halliday
Author of : Burnt Toast and Bent Noses, The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, the almost perfect plot, The Grinning Dog, pigs in paradise
Don't get me wrong, the locals have been very supportive, and have only slightly smirked when asking when will I return to the treacherous UK. Luckily it's just good hearted banter, although I suspect I will tire of the jokes long before the local French do.
It is a bizarre feeling though, walking down the street in the village where I have now lived for several years and feeling like I no longer belong. There is also the question of legal and tax changes, will I be allowed to stay? If yes then how many hoops will I have to jump through? And many many more All of this does give one an unsettled feeling, and it's really not a pleasant one.
This brings me to the sticky topic of the kind of immigrants that headline the news bulletins. The poor souls who cross seas and whole countries to get to Europe. One of the key factors in the Brexit referendum was the question of immigration and the fear that remaining in the EU would mean that Britain will be flooded with foreign population. Trust me, I am experiencing the feeling of not belonging and facing an uncertain future in only a very mild way, so I think I can safely say that those who travel in desperation because they are in real need will have bigger fears than mine. They will only ever contemplate these huge migratory journeys if they have no option, and the fear that a lot of the British population have that countries such as Turkey will empty out and flood the streets of Britain are unfounded. No-one likes to feel that they don't belong, and no-one wants to live in a place where they don't fit in, not unless staying in your place of birth is a truly horrific option.
On a closing note, I just hope that this all gets resolved quickly. Not only for my peace of mind, but for the general turmoil this one vote is causing the world over.
Cheers, Ed Halliday
Author of : Burnt Toast and Bent Noses, The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, the almost perfect plot, The Grinning Dog, pigs in paradise
January 24, 2016
Thank you Portland
Hello again and apologies for the recent lack of posts!
I guess I should try and make an excuse, but as an employer of mine used to say, 'excuses are like bum holes, everyone has one and none of them are very pretty', so I shan't inflict one of those on you!
I know this isn't author related, but I felt compelled to write today as I thought I should extend a heartfelt 'thank you' to the people of Portland in Oregon. The USA has always been a bit of a mystery to me and I have never had the opportunity to visit much of it. I have been to New York (great place) but that is about it, until recently that is.
Due to family reasons I have just spent 8 days in Portland, and what an amazing surprise it turned out to be!
As many of you probably realise, I reside in France, which makes food a pretty important part of life! Portland is the first place I have found where good food is more revered than it is in France. Not a single fast food joint, everything home made, home cured bacon, home brewed beer etc etc! The quality and pride the locals take in their produce is unsurpassed!
Not only that but everyone was extremely welcoming, the city was clean, not too crowded and at no point did we ever feel remotely worried about being in 'the wrong part of town'. And to top it all, they have the biggest independent book store in the world! Heaven.
If you get the chance, go visit Portland, and once again a big 'thank you' to all the Portlandians who welcomed us.
Cheers,
Ed Halliday
Author of: The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, The Grinning Dog, Burnt Toast and Bent Noses, the almost perfect plot, pigs in paradise
I guess I should try and make an excuse, but as an employer of mine used to say, 'excuses are like bum holes, everyone has one and none of them are very pretty', so I shan't inflict one of those on you!
I know this isn't author related, but I felt compelled to write today as I thought I should extend a heartfelt 'thank you' to the people of Portland in Oregon. The USA has always been a bit of a mystery to me and I have never had the opportunity to visit much of it. I have been to New York (great place) but that is about it, until recently that is.
Due to family reasons I have just spent 8 days in Portland, and what an amazing surprise it turned out to be!
As many of you probably realise, I reside in France, which makes food a pretty important part of life! Portland is the first place I have found where good food is more revered than it is in France. Not a single fast food joint, everything home made, home cured bacon, home brewed beer etc etc! The quality and pride the locals take in their produce is unsurpassed!
Not only that but everyone was extremely welcoming, the city was clean, not too crowded and at no point did we ever feel remotely worried about being in 'the wrong part of town'. And to top it all, they have the biggest independent book store in the world! Heaven.
If you get the chance, go visit Portland, and once again a big 'thank you' to all the Portlandians who welcomed us.
Cheers,
Ed Halliday
Author of: The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, The Grinning Dog, Burnt Toast and Bent Noses, the almost perfect plot, pigs in paradise
October 20, 2015
Winter is coming, again!
So here we are in Autumn! I could have sworn that Spring only started a few weeks ago. Never mind, Spring will be back soon enough and then I can miss summer completely once again. In the meantime, however, we are in the midst of that very dangerous season called Autumn. Why is it dangerous? I hear you ask. Well it's probably not dangerous everywhere in the world, but here in the little corner of France where I live it is exceedingly dangerous at the moment. This is due to a very French obsession which manifests at this time of year shortly after heavy rain. You can drive round any blind bend in any country road at the moment and find a car, abandoned rather than parked, stationery at the side of the road. There are thousands of cars littering the smallest roads making driving a bit like being in a demolition derby! The reason for this? Champignons! otherwise known as mushrooms. The quest for freshly picked fungus is a major pastime here, with knowledge of particularly fertile patches of forest guarded like Fort Knox! As locals abandon their cars near their favourite spot there is much fervent glancing around by the pickers who want to make sure no one is following them to their treasure trove.
Don't get me wrong, I like mushrooms! I just don't fancy scurrying about in full combat uniform to find them, and this is something that really confuses me. Why do the mushroom pickers wear Khaki camouflage? Do they feel the need to sneak up on the mushrooms? Do Fungi have legs and run away if they spot someone coming? If anyone has knowledge of running mushrooms please let me know!
Anyway, winter will be here soon and they will all go back to shooting wild boar, so the mushrooms will rest easy and the roads will become driveable once again!
Bon apetit, as they say over here!
Cheers, Ed Halliday
Author of:- The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, The Grinning Dog, Burnt Toast and Bent Noses, the almost perfect plot, pigs in paradise
Don't get me wrong, I like mushrooms! I just don't fancy scurrying about in full combat uniform to find them, and this is something that really confuses me. Why do the mushroom pickers wear Khaki camouflage? Do they feel the need to sneak up on the mushrooms? Do Fungi have legs and run away if they spot someone coming? If anyone has knowledge of running mushrooms please let me know!
Anyway, winter will be here soon and they will all go back to shooting wild boar, so the mushrooms will rest easy and the roads will become driveable once again!
Bon apetit, as they say over here!
Cheers, Ed Halliday
Author of:- The Expected Demise of Bernard Fish, The Grinning Dog, Burnt Toast and Bent Noses, the almost perfect plot, pigs in paradise
