Paula Berinstein's Blog, page 7
September 10, 2015
It's Conan Doyle month!
At Groombridge Place, that is. The house in Royal Tunbridge Wells, which is accessible only via drawbridge, was the inspiration for the setting of the Sherlock Holmes story "The Valley of Fear."
There will be lectures, theatre, a murder mystery, and more throughout the month of September, 2015.
There will be lectures, theatre, a murder mystery, and more throughout the month of September, 2015.
Goodreads giveaway book returns from Zimbabwe after 2.5 months
Yes, you read that right. I accidentally sent a copy of Amanda Lester and the Pink Sugar Conspiracy to Zimbabwe rather than Australia. (Don't ask. It was a weird thing having to do with the postal service's drop-down country menu.)
Well, yesterday the book showed up on my doorstep, two and a half months after I sent it out. Hurray for the various post offices that managed to get it back to me!
And in case you're wondering, I discovered my mistake a few days after I sent the book and managed to send another copy to the correct address in Queensland.
I do feel a little sad though. It would have been nice to have a reader in Zimbabwe.
Well, yesterday the book showed up on my doorstep, two and a half months after I sent it out. Hurray for the various post offices that managed to get it back to me!
And in case you're wondering, I discovered my mistake a few days after I sent the book and managed to send another copy to the correct address in Queensland.
I do feel a little sad though. It would have been nice to have a reader in Zimbabwe.
September 9, 2015
Author Q & A from Amanda Lester and the Orange Crystal Crisis
SLIGHT SPOILERS CONTAINED IN THE INTERVIEW!!!!
Q AND A WITH AUTHOR PAULA BERINSTEIN
Where did you get the idea for the crystals?
I liked the idea of the kids discovering a new life form, and I wanted it to be so unusual that you normally wouldn’t think of it as a life form. I also wanted something visually interesting, with lots of color. I researched crystals to see if there is such a thing as living ones, and I found articles that discuss “almost living” crystals. (See http://www.wired.com/2013/01/living-c..., for example.) That was good enough for me. Sure, I exaggerated mine, but I often do that. Fiction has to be larger than life.
I’ve been to Windermere, and there’s no Lake Enchanto there. What’s going on?
It is absolutely true that I play with geography. In fact, when you read the next book, Amanda Lester and the Purple Rainbow Puzzle, you’ll see that I do so even more when I send the kids to Penrith, a town near Windermere. I try to retain some semblance of truth, but I change what I need to so that it supports the stories. For example, all my trains and stations are real, although they may not look exactly like they do in the books. The highways are also real, and there really is a sugar mile near London City Airport, or there was. There are still factories in that area.
How did you come up with the idea of using an acoustic levitator to get the kids past the tunnel gates?
I had to get them past those gates, and I thought and thought about how to do it. Those locks are tough! I suppose I could have had them break the locks or get through them legitimately, but that wouldn’t have been very interesting. It occurred to me that perhaps I should leave the locks in place but play with the hinge parts of the gates. Then what? Well, there are pins in hinges; what if the kids could remove them. But they’re old and rusty and won’t budge. You see my reasoning. I just go through various ideas step by step. When I found acoustic levitation on the Web, that clinched it. Clive is inventive. Of course he’d make something like that.
Are you really planning to create a game like Explosions!?
I hope so. I’ve been working with my stepson to design some games based on the Amanda stories, and that’s one of the ideas. Once I get the purple book finalized (for publication in November, 2015), I will put together some Kickstarter campaigns to raise the money to get them programmed. I can’t wait!
Have you ever skateboarded?
I have! My friend Barbara and I used to go sidewalk surfing. I had a Makaha board. Wish I’d kept it.
Do you know how to program?
I do! I used to be a COBOL programmer at an aerospace company, and I studied Java for a while. I also took a class in assembly language, and although I never followed that up, it allowed me to understand concepts I’d never got my head around before. I can also write HTML and CSS, although I’m not sure you can consider those programming.
What is it with you and monkeys?
Don’t you like monkeys? I hope you do because you’re going to be seeing a lot more of them.
Do gingersnaps really settle the stomach?
They do. I used to give them to my dog when we’d go in the car. They work wonders!
Q AND A WITH AUTHOR PAULA BERINSTEIN
Where did you get the idea for the crystals?
I liked the idea of the kids discovering a new life form, and I wanted it to be so unusual that you normally wouldn’t think of it as a life form. I also wanted something visually interesting, with lots of color. I researched crystals to see if there is such a thing as living ones, and I found articles that discuss “almost living” crystals. (See http://www.wired.com/2013/01/living-c..., for example.) That was good enough for me. Sure, I exaggerated mine, but I often do that. Fiction has to be larger than life.
I’ve been to Windermere, and there’s no Lake Enchanto there. What’s going on?
It is absolutely true that I play with geography. In fact, when you read the next book, Amanda Lester and the Purple Rainbow Puzzle, you’ll see that I do so even more when I send the kids to Penrith, a town near Windermere. I try to retain some semblance of truth, but I change what I need to so that it supports the stories. For example, all my trains and stations are real, although they may not look exactly like they do in the books. The highways are also real, and there really is a sugar mile near London City Airport, or there was. There are still factories in that area.
How did you come up with the idea of using an acoustic levitator to get the kids past the tunnel gates?
I had to get them past those gates, and I thought and thought about how to do it. Those locks are tough! I suppose I could have had them break the locks or get through them legitimately, but that wouldn’t have been very interesting. It occurred to me that perhaps I should leave the locks in place but play with the hinge parts of the gates. Then what? Well, there are pins in hinges; what if the kids could remove them. But they’re old and rusty and won’t budge. You see my reasoning. I just go through various ideas step by step. When I found acoustic levitation on the Web, that clinched it. Clive is inventive. Of course he’d make something like that.
Are you really planning to create a game like Explosions!?
I hope so. I’ve been working with my stepson to design some games based on the Amanda stories, and that’s one of the ideas. Once I get the purple book finalized (for publication in November, 2015), I will put together some Kickstarter campaigns to raise the money to get them programmed. I can’t wait!
Have you ever skateboarded?
I have! My friend Barbara and I used to go sidewalk surfing. I had a Makaha board. Wish I’d kept it.
Do you know how to program?
I do! I used to be a COBOL programmer at an aerospace company, and I studied Java for a while. I also took a class in assembly language, and although I never followed that up, it allowed me to understand concepts I’d never got my head around before. I can also write HTML and CSS, although I’m not sure you can consider those programming.
What is it with you and monkeys?
Don’t you like monkeys? I hope you do because you’re going to be seeing a lot more of them.
Do gingersnaps really settle the stomach?
They do. I used to give them to my dog when we’d go in the car. They work wonders!
September 8, 2015
Some Famous Detectives You Might Be Interested In Knowing About
Some Famous Detectives
Roderick Alleyn. A gentleman police detective who appears in thirty-two novels by New Zealand author and theater director Ngaio Marsh (a woman) starting in 1934. He attended Oxford University and served in the army during World War I. He also worked briefly for the British Foreign Service. His older brother is a baronet. In his younger days he was attracted to actresses, but eventually he married a painter, Agatha Troy.
Sir John Appleby. Originally a detective inspector at Scotland Yard, then a police commissioner, Sir John Appleby appears in the works of Michael Innes beginning in 1936. Even after retiring, Sir John continued to solve crimes. He had one of the longest careers of any of the great detectives.
Martin Beck. A Swedish police detective who appears in ten novels by Maj Sjöwall and Per Wahlöö starting in 1965. He tends to get sick a lot, perhaps because he smokes so much.
Father Brown. A Catholic priest who appears in fifty-one short stories by G.K. Chesterton beginning in 1910. His methods for solving crime are intuitive rather than deductive. Because of his position as a priest and confessor, he is acutely aware of human evil and its possibilities and is able to use that knowledge and experience in his cases.
Albert Campion. A gentleman detective featured in the works of Margery Allingham beginning in 1929. He was originally created as a parody of Lord Peter Wimsey but became a complex character in his own right.
Nancy Drew. An amateur teenage detective featured in works created by publisher Edward Stratemeyer, who hired a series of writers to work collectively under the pseudonym Carolyn Keene. Nancy Drew first appeared in 1930.
C. Auguste Dupin. An amateur detective created by Edgar Allan Poe. He made his first appearance in “The Murders in the Rue Morgue,” which is widely considered the first detective story, even before the word “detective” was coined. In Dupin, Poe laid the foundation for the detective fiction genre.
Dr. Gideon Fell. An amateur sleuth created by John Dickson Carr, making his first appearance in 1933. He is a portly man with a mustache, who wears a cape and walks with two canes. He began as a lexicographer but was later described as working on a monumental history of the beer-drinking habits of the English people.
Sherlock Holmes. A private consulting detective created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Holmes first appeared in “A Study in Scarlet,” which was published in 1887. He is the seminal detective who solves cases by using his exceptional powers of observation and deduction, not to mention disguise. He was an early practitioner of forensic science. He is popularly recognized by his cape, deerstalker hat, magnifying glass, pipe, and violin. Holmes’s archenemy, the criminal mastermind Professor James Moriarty, originally appeared in only two short stories so that Doyle could kill off Holmes. However, Moriarty features prominently in derivative works. Moriarty is a mathematical genius and heads a crime ring, though he often functions alone.
Monsieur Lecoq. A detective with the French Sûreté created by 19th century writer and journalist Émile Gaboriau. Lecoq preceded the creation of Sherlock Holmes and influenced Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in his characterization. Still, Holmes dismissed Lecoq in “A Study in Scarlet” as a “miserable bungler.” Lecoq was the first fictional detective to assiduously analyze crime scenes and evidence by inspecting them visually. He was also a master of disguise. “Lecoq” means “the rooster.”
G. Lestrade. A Scotland Yard detective who appears in many of the Sherlock Holmes stories written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, starting in 1887. Nowhere does Doyle mention his first name, only the initial G. Although Lestrade ascended to the upper ranks of the Yard, he did so by being unimaginative and conventional rather than brilliant, and to a certain extent by taking credit for cases that Holmes actually solved, with Holmes’s approval and complicity. He sometimes clashes with Holmes and his sidekick Dr. John Watson, although as the stories progress, Lestrade seems to appreciate Holmes’s unconventional methods more.
Jane Marple. Usually referred to as “Miss Marple,” amateur sleuth Jane Marple appears in many of Agatha Christie’s novels and short stories starting in 1926. She is an intelligent and astute elderly woman who lives in the village of St. Mary Mead.
Pradosh C. Mitter. Pradosh C. Mitter is the anglicized name of Prodosh Chandra Mitra, or Feluda, as he is known in Bengali. He is a private investigator appearing in works by film director and writer Satyajit Ray. He made his first appearance in a Bengali children’s magazine called Sandesh in 1965. Satyajit Ray was a devotee of the Sherlock Holmes stories and his character resembles Holmes.
Allan Pinkerton. A Scottish-American detective and spy who founded the Pinkerton National Detective agency. Pinkerton was a real person who lived from 1819 to 1884.
Hercule Poirot. A Belgian private detective living in England, created by Agatha Christie. He made his first appearance in The Mysterious Affair at Styles in 1920. Poirot is famous for solving cases by using his “little gray cells” and is known for being fussy, bombastic, and egotistical.
Lucy Pym. A psychologist who solves a crime in a physical training college for girls. Lucy Pym was created by Josephine Tey, whose real name was Elizabeth Mackintosh. She appeared in Lucy Pym Disposes in 1946.
Parker Pyne. A consulting detective in several works by Agatha Christie. He first appeared in 1932. He is a retired government employee turned philanthropist who is more concerned with making his clients happy than investigating crimes. He believes that there are five types of unhappiness, all of which can be cured logically.
Joseph Rouletabille. A teenage journalist created by Gaston Leroux. Joseph Rouletabille is a nickname for Joseph Josephin. The character first appeared in 1907 in The Mystery of the Yellow Room (Le Mystère de la Chambre Jaune), in which he solved a locked room puzzle.
The Secret Seven. A group of child detectives created by Enid Blyton, first appearing in 1949. They are Peter—the leader—Peter’s sister Janet, Jack, Barbara, George, Pam, and Colin.
Gerard Van Helden. A detective superintendent in the Birmingham City Police Force. He was a real person who was born in the Netherlands in 1848. Rapidly promoted, he found success as a result of his uncanny ability to remember faces and because he spoke three languages: Dutch, German, and English. He was so successful and effective that he became known as “The Famous Detective.”
Harriet Vane. A mystery writer turned sleuth invented by Dorothy L. Sayers. Vane eventually marries Lord Peter Wimsey, despite the fact that she initially finds him to be overbearing and superficial. Early on she is arrested for the murder of her lover, Philip Boyes, but is acquitted with Wimsey’s help. After the trial she remains notorious, a fact that helps her sell a lot of books.
Dr. John Watson. A character in the Sherlock Holmes stories created by Arthur Conan Doyle. Watson makes his first appearance in “A Study in Scarlet,” which was published in 1887. While not all that bright, Watson often helps Holmes reach important conclusions by acting as a sounding board and foil.
Lord Peter Wimsey. Lord Peter Death Bredon Wimsey is a gentleman detective who solves murders for his own amusement in works by Dorothy L. Sayers. He is descended from the 12th century knight Gerald de Wimsey, who accompanied King Richard the Lionheart on the Third Crusade. Peter Wimsey eventually marries another of Sayers’s detectives, Harriet Vane. He collects rare books, is an expert on food and wine, and is an accomplished pianist.
Roderick Alleyn. A gentleman police detective who appears in thirty-two novels by New Zealand author and theater director Ngaio Marsh (a woman) starting in 1934. He attended Oxford University and served in the army during World War I. He also worked briefly for the British Foreign Service. His older brother is a baronet. In his younger days he was attracted to actresses, but eventually he married a painter, Agatha Troy.
Sir John Appleby. Originally a detective inspector at Scotland Yard, then a police commissioner, Sir John Appleby appears in the works of Michael Innes beginning in 1936. Even after retiring, Sir John continued to solve crimes. He had one of the longest careers of any of the great detectives.
Martin Beck. A Swedish police detective who appears in ten novels by Maj Sjöwall and Per Wahlöö starting in 1965. He tends to get sick a lot, perhaps because he smokes so much.
Father Brown. A Catholic priest who appears in fifty-one short stories by G.K. Chesterton beginning in 1910. His methods for solving crime are intuitive rather than deductive. Because of his position as a priest and confessor, he is acutely aware of human evil and its possibilities and is able to use that knowledge and experience in his cases.
Albert Campion. A gentleman detective featured in the works of Margery Allingham beginning in 1929. He was originally created as a parody of Lord Peter Wimsey but became a complex character in his own right.
Nancy Drew. An amateur teenage detective featured in works created by publisher Edward Stratemeyer, who hired a series of writers to work collectively under the pseudonym Carolyn Keene. Nancy Drew first appeared in 1930.
C. Auguste Dupin. An amateur detective created by Edgar Allan Poe. He made his first appearance in “The Murders in the Rue Morgue,” which is widely considered the first detective story, even before the word “detective” was coined. In Dupin, Poe laid the foundation for the detective fiction genre.
Dr. Gideon Fell. An amateur sleuth created by John Dickson Carr, making his first appearance in 1933. He is a portly man with a mustache, who wears a cape and walks with two canes. He began as a lexicographer but was later described as working on a monumental history of the beer-drinking habits of the English people.
Sherlock Holmes. A private consulting detective created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Holmes first appeared in “A Study in Scarlet,” which was published in 1887. He is the seminal detective who solves cases by using his exceptional powers of observation and deduction, not to mention disguise. He was an early practitioner of forensic science. He is popularly recognized by his cape, deerstalker hat, magnifying glass, pipe, and violin. Holmes’s archenemy, the criminal mastermind Professor James Moriarty, originally appeared in only two short stories so that Doyle could kill off Holmes. However, Moriarty features prominently in derivative works. Moriarty is a mathematical genius and heads a crime ring, though he often functions alone.
Monsieur Lecoq. A detective with the French Sûreté created by 19th century writer and journalist Émile Gaboriau. Lecoq preceded the creation of Sherlock Holmes and influenced Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in his characterization. Still, Holmes dismissed Lecoq in “A Study in Scarlet” as a “miserable bungler.” Lecoq was the first fictional detective to assiduously analyze crime scenes and evidence by inspecting them visually. He was also a master of disguise. “Lecoq” means “the rooster.”
G. Lestrade. A Scotland Yard detective who appears in many of the Sherlock Holmes stories written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, starting in 1887. Nowhere does Doyle mention his first name, only the initial G. Although Lestrade ascended to the upper ranks of the Yard, he did so by being unimaginative and conventional rather than brilliant, and to a certain extent by taking credit for cases that Holmes actually solved, with Holmes’s approval and complicity. He sometimes clashes with Holmes and his sidekick Dr. John Watson, although as the stories progress, Lestrade seems to appreciate Holmes’s unconventional methods more.
Jane Marple. Usually referred to as “Miss Marple,” amateur sleuth Jane Marple appears in many of Agatha Christie’s novels and short stories starting in 1926. She is an intelligent and astute elderly woman who lives in the village of St. Mary Mead.
Pradosh C. Mitter. Pradosh C. Mitter is the anglicized name of Prodosh Chandra Mitra, or Feluda, as he is known in Bengali. He is a private investigator appearing in works by film director and writer Satyajit Ray. He made his first appearance in a Bengali children’s magazine called Sandesh in 1965. Satyajit Ray was a devotee of the Sherlock Holmes stories and his character resembles Holmes.
Allan Pinkerton. A Scottish-American detective and spy who founded the Pinkerton National Detective agency. Pinkerton was a real person who lived from 1819 to 1884.
Hercule Poirot. A Belgian private detective living in England, created by Agatha Christie. He made his first appearance in The Mysterious Affair at Styles in 1920. Poirot is famous for solving cases by using his “little gray cells” and is known for being fussy, bombastic, and egotistical.
Lucy Pym. A psychologist who solves a crime in a physical training college for girls. Lucy Pym was created by Josephine Tey, whose real name was Elizabeth Mackintosh. She appeared in Lucy Pym Disposes in 1946.
Parker Pyne. A consulting detective in several works by Agatha Christie. He first appeared in 1932. He is a retired government employee turned philanthropist who is more concerned with making his clients happy than investigating crimes. He believes that there are five types of unhappiness, all of which can be cured logically.
Joseph Rouletabille. A teenage journalist created by Gaston Leroux. Joseph Rouletabille is a nickname for Joseph Josephin. The character first appeared in 1907 in The Mystery of the Yellow Room (Le Mystère de la Chambre Jaune), in which he solved a locked room puzzle.
The Secret Seven. A group of child detectives created by Enid Blyton, first appearing in 1949. They are Peter—the leader—Peter’s sister Janet, Jack, Barbara, George, Pam, and Colin.
Gerard Van Helden. A detective superintendent in the Birmingham City Police Force. He was a real person who was born in the Netherlands in 1848. Rapidly promoted, he found success as a result of his uncanny ability to remember faces and because he spoke three languages: Dutch, German, and English. He was so successful and effective that he became known as “The Famous Detective.”
Harriet Vane. A mystery writer turned sleuth invented by Dorothy L. Sayers. Vane eventually marries Lord Peter Wimsey, despite the fact that she initially finds him to be overbearing and superficial. Early on she is arrested for the murder of her lover, Philip Boyes, but is acquitted with Wimsey’s help. After the trial she remains notorious, a fact that helps her sell a lot of books.
Dr. John Watson. A character in the Sherlock Holmes stories created by Arthur Conan Doyle. Watson makes his first appearance in “A Study in Scarlet,” which was published in 1887. While not all that bright, Watson often helps Holmes reach important conclusions by acting as a sounding board and foil.
Lord Peter Wimsey. Lord Peter Death Bredon Wimsey is a gentleman detective who solves murders for his own amusement in works by Dorothy L. Sayers. He is descended from the 12th century knight Gerald de Wimsey, who accompanied King Richard the Lionheart on the Third Crusade. Peter Wimsey eventually marries another of Sayers’s detectives, Harriet Vane. He collects rare books, is an expert on food and wine, and is an accomplished pianist.
September 7, 2015
Identifying people is hard!
I just started my Identifying the Dead online forensics class from Dundee University, and you would not believe (oh, yes you would!) how much we think we know that we don't.
For example, check out this Interpol forensics forms page: http://www.interpol.int/INTERPOL-expe.... Can you fill in the Ante-mortem ID form for the person closest to you? (It's at the bottom right.) It's hard!!!!
This is why Amanda Lester's Observation teacher, Professor Sidebotham, is such a stickler. Now, without looking down, can you tell me what you're wearing today?
For example, check out this Interpol forensics forms page: http://www.interpol.int/INTERPOL-expe.... Can you fill in the Ante-mortem ID form for the person closest to you? (It's at the bottom right.) It's hard!!!!
This is why Amanda Lester's Observation teacher, Professor Sidebotham, is such a stickler. Now, without looking down, can you tell me what you're wearing today?
Want more Writing Show eps? Please help me out.
About The Writing Show and my books . . .
Because I am still getting requests to do Writing Show episodes, I will make you guys a deal. Ready? For each combination of 100 sales and reviews of my Amanda Lester, Detective books I get by September 30th, 2015, I will do one episode of The Writing Show. At least 20% of that number must be reviews on Amazon and/or Goodreads. That's text reviews, not just star ratings. That means that for every 80 sales, I must receive 20 reviews.
The titles are:
Amanda Lester and the Pink Sugar Conspiracy
Amanda Lester and the Orange Crystal Crisis.
You can buy the paperback at online stores, or have your favorite store order it, or you can by the Kindle version at Amazon. The books are available at all Amazon stores, from the U.S. to the UK to India, etc. If you do this, please let me know that you've done it.
The books feature adventure, mystery, humor, whimsy, and a dash of romance. They are detectives stories with a touch of science fiction about them.They are enjoyable for both boys and girls, despite the word "pink" in the title of the first one, from ages 10-16. If your nine-year-old is particularly mature, he or she will enjoy it too.
Please help me out. Thank you! Love you guys!
Because I am still getting requests to do Writing Show episodes, I will make you guys a deal. Ready? For each combination of 100 sales and reviews of my Amanda Lester, Detective books I get by September 30th, 2015, I will do one episode of The Writing Show. At least 20% of that number must be reviews on Amazon and/or Goodreads. That's text reviews, not just star ratings. That means that for every 80 sales, I must receive 20 reviews.
The titles are:
Amanda Lester and the Pink Sugar Conspiracy
Amanda Lester and the Orange Crystal Crisis.
You can buy the paperback at online stores, or have your favorite store order it, or you can by the Kindle version at Amazon. The books are available at all Amazon stores, from the U.S. to the UK to India, etc. If you do this, please let me know that you've done it.
The books feature adventure, mystery, humor, whimsy, and a dash of romance. They are detectives stories with a touch of science fiction about them.They are enjoyable for both boys and girls, despite the word "pink" in the title of the first one, from ages 10-16. If your nine-year-old is particularly mature, he or she will enjoy it too.
Please help me out. Thank you! Love you guys!
September 2, 2015
Legatum Continuatum Secret School for Detectives Course List
Since it's back to school time, I thought it would be a good idea to post the school's course list. What would you like to sign up for?
Legatum Continuatum Class Descriptions
Crime Lab. This is a very serious class in which you will learn to analyze substances, fibers, and other physical evidence, including weapon trajectories and blood spatter patterns. Students will be trained to be incredibly picky so as not to ruin evidence and end up with a mistrial. We will meet with Crown Prosecutors who will explain to us just what happens when you mess up. Believe me, it can get pretty ugly.
Criminals and Their Methods. In order to be a great detective you need to think like a criminal, and that’s exactly what you’ll learn in this class. We will cover types of criminals and their characteristics, from petty thieves and kleptomaniacs to terrorists and serial killers. Students will also become familiar with criminal techniques from lock-picking to creating explosions, as well as criminal motivation. Yes, there will be some overlap with the profiling class, but you won’t mind because each teacher takes a different approach and it will be really interesting. Oh, and there’s a special unit on butlers, which you won’t want to miss.
Cryptography and Cryptoanalysis. One of the most exciting things about being a detective is that you get to use secret languages as well as decipher other people’s. More than just challenging and fun ways to spend an afternoon, cryptography and cryptoanalysis are important tools for unearthing nefarious and twisted criminals’ plans. Learning the Navajo language encouraged but not required. Note: There is currently no teacher for this class. If you know of anyone good, please tell us so we can set up an interview ASAP.
Cyberforensics. In this really, really hard class, students will essentially learn how to hack. Be prepared to program in assembly language, Java, and a whole bunch of others so you can track, trap, and reverse criminal activity on computers and networks. Don’t be intimidated. We are really good at teaching this stuff and you will get it, we promise. You may even like it.
Disguise. Yes, this class will be fun, but it will also be a lot more challenging than you think. You will have to fool not only humans, but also facial and gait recognition software, and someday even more clever software than that. We will cover costumes, wigs, appliances like beards and implants, makeup, accessories, gestures, and gaits. Students will learn not only how to create disguises, but also how to select the right disguise for the occasion. We will also cover the care and feeding of disguises so yours will last a long, long time. Don’t even imagine that you will coast in this class.
Evidence. Evidence is the workhorse of criminal investigation and in this class you will learn to recognize it and treat it with respect. You may not know this, but in addition to things like fingerprints and fibers, evidence can consist of the contents of someone’s refrigerator or the poetry they read to their child. Even this syllabus could be evidence under the right circumstances. Isn’t that mind-boggling?
Fires and Explosions. You might think that fires and explosions are primarily the province of terrorists, but you’d be wrong. Fires and explosives are for everybody—if you’re a criminal. In this action-packed class you will learn techniques for investigating fires and explosions of all types, even really tiny ones. We will also cover fire and explosion prevention and handling as well as the psychological factors affecting criminals who resort to these cowardly methods.
History of Detectives. An extremely detailed look at your ancestors and their cases. We will also cover detectives who were not famous because there were a lot of great ones and they bear study too. We will also deal with the critical topic of the detective’s mystique and how to create one.
Legal Issues. Our job as detectives is to help prosecutors bring criminals to justice. Therefore it is imperative that we understand their needs and all the loopholes and pitfalls that can mess up their cases. In addition, we need to understand the legal issues that affect police and private detectives. You wouldn’t want to let a criminal get away with something just because you didn’t understand the law. Come prepared to do a ton of reading and participate in a moot court.
Logic. Evidence is great and all that, but if you don’t know how to build a case from it, it will be wasted. In this rigorous class you will learn about the types of logic and do a whole lot of practicing to make sure that the conclusions you draw from various premises are sound. Some math will be involved, so suck it up.
Observation and Research. Being able to look at a room or scene and repeat back everything that’s in it is not a parlor trick. It’s a critical skill for detectives. In this slightly OCD class, you will learn to note not only what is there, but everything about it, such as its color, size, shape, and difference from its previous state. Field trips make the class even more fun than it already is. We also cover research techniques because you’ll need them in order to learn about all the stuff you’re looking at, such as the difference between a ruby and a garnet and also how to tell a 1965 Ford Mustang from a 1966 model. Stuff like that.
Pathology. We’re sorry if you’re a bit queasy, but you’re going to have to get over it because you will be dealing with dead bodies in your career sooner or later. In this fascinating class, you will learn a lot about anatomy and physiology, and you’ll develop the ability to tell what kind of weapon made which wound. You’ll also learn a lot about bones, which is pretty interesting stuff even if you’re not a dog.
Forensic Photography. Forensic photographs allow investigators to recreate a crime and document evidence. Students will learn how to use every photographic device on earth, including ancient ones and those for photographing the night sky because you never know. You will also learn how to photograph both cooperative and uncooperative suspects and victims, bring out hidden evidence by clever use of lighting and cool features on Photoshop menus, write amazing captions, and master special techniques like taking pictures of trace evidence that’s pretty hard to see, including through microscopes, and recording how big or small something actually is so no one gets confused.
Procedure. Police departments all have procedures they follow to make sure crimes are properly investigated and criminals are brought to justice quickly and cleanly. In this critical class you will learn how to follow police procedure, including how to conduct an interrogation so you get a confession, how to deal with hostage situations, and how to check a book out of the precinct library. You will also learn about recruiting and working with informants, which can be really helpful even if you don’t end up working for a police department.
Profiling. In this psychologically oriented class, you will learn how to use evidence to tell a perpetrator’s personality type. That way you’ll know you’re looking for a certain type of person rather than just any old criminal. Come prepared to use a bunch of jargon, but don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.
Secrets. This is probably the weirdest class we offer here at Legatum. In keeping with the subject matter, we can’t tell you any more about it than the name implies. You’ll just have to show up to find out what it’s about.
Self-defense. Criminals can be really, really mean, so you have to learn to defend yourself against them. This is so much more than just a PE class. You’ll learn all kinds of martial arts, and you’ll get to wear cool pajamas and colored belts. We guarantee that by the time you graduate you’ll be breaking bricks with your hands. We’d also say you’ll be able to tear telephone books except they don’t make those much anymore and they’re really hard to find.
Sketching. When you can’t take a photograph for whatever reason, you need to be able to draw a person, place, or thing. Let’s say you saw someone a while back but you didn’t take a picture of them. You’ll need to draw them from memory. Or let’s say you forgot your camera, which shouldn’t happen but does. Or maybe it broke. In this class, you’ll learn how to make up for all those problems and you’ll have fun too. In fact you may want to display your work at one of our special school art shows. Fun!
Textual Analysis and Language. We don’t teach this class to younger students because you really need the basics first, but once you get this far you will see how useful it can be to be able to identify writers and speakers by the way they use language. You will also be exposed to various languages in this course, including Esperanto and Klingon, which believe it or not, a fair number of people use. Plus we’ll talk about secret languages and codes so you will know how to protect your words and even figure out what others are talking about when they’ve made up words no one else knows.
Toxicology. Because the topic of poisons is so critical to detective work, we offer an entire class on the subject instead of covering it in the crime lab course. There are a lot of poisons out there that few people have heard of, and we want you to know about those as well as the ones everyone knows about, like arsenic. You’ll learn to recognize various poisons by their characteristics and the symptoms they produce. You’ll also learn how to analyze them in the lab and to recognize and gather poisonous plants without killing yourself. This is really useful stuff!
Weapons. As a detective, you will not only face criminals’ weapons, but you will sometimes have to use your own. Students will learn about modern, ancient, and futuristic weapons, which they may enjoy drawing during Sketching. You will learn to use all of these, as well as how to care for them so they work when they’re supposed to and don’t injure anyone they shouldn’t. While weapons can seem glamorous, remember that they are not toys, unless they’re water pistols or BB guns, which we do cover in the class.
Legatum Continuatum Class Descriptions
Crime Lab. This is a very serious class in which you will learn to analyze substances, fibers, and other physical evidence, including weapon trajectories and blood spatter patterns. Students will be trained to be incredibly picky so as not to ruin evidence and end up with a mistrial. We will meet with Crown Prosecutors who will explain to us just what happens when you mess up. Believe me, it can get pretty ugly.
Criminals and Their Methods. In order to be a great detective you need to think like a criminal, and that’s exactly what you’ll learn in this class. We will cover types of criminals and their characteristics, from petty thieves and kleptomaniacs to terrorists and serial killers. Students will also become familiar with criminal techniques from lock-picking to creating explosions, as well as criminal motivation. Yes, there will be some overlap with the profiling class, but you won’t mind because each teacher takes a different approach and it will be really interesting. Oh, and there’s a special unit on butlers, which you won’t want to miss.
Cryptography and Cryptoanalysis. One of the most exciting things about being a detective is that you get to use secret languages as well as decipher other people’s. More than just challenging and fun ways to spend an afternoon, cryptography and cryptoanalysis are important tools for unearthing nefarious and twisted criminals’ plans. Learning the Navajo language encouraged but not required. Note: There is currently no teacher for this class. If you know of anyone good, please tell us so we can set up an interview ASAP.
Cyberforensics. In this really, really hard class, students will essentially learn how to hack. Be prepared to program in assembly language, Java, and a whole bunch of others so you can track, trap, and reverse criminal activity on computers and networks. Don’t be intimidated. We are really good at teaching this stuff and you will get it, we promise. You may even like it.
Disguise. Yes, this class will be fun, but it will also be a lot more challenging than you think. You will have to fool not only humans, but also facial and gait recognition software, and someday even more clever software than that. We will cover costumes, wigs, appliances like beards and implants, makeup, accessories, gestures, and gaits. Students will learn not only how to create disguises, but also how to select the right disguise for the occasion. We will also cover the care and feeding of disguises so yours will last a long, long time. Don’t even imagine that you will coast in this class.
Evidence. Evidence is the workhorse of criminal investigation and in this class you will learn to recognize it and treat it with respect. You may not know this, but in addition to things like fingerprints and fibers, evidence can consist of the contents of someone’s refrigerator or the poetry they read to their child. Even this syllabus could be evidence under the right circumstances. Isn’t that mind-boggling?
Fires and Explosions. You might think that fires and explosions are primarily the province of terrorists, but you’d be wrong. Fires and explosives are for everybody—if you’re a criminal. In this action-packed class you will learn techniques for investigating fires and explosions of all types, even really tiny ones. We will also cover fire and explosion prevention and handling as well as the psychological factors affecting criminals who resort to these cowardly methods.
History of Detectives. An extremely detailed look at your ancestors and their cases. We will also cover detectives who were not famous because there were a lot of great ones and they bear study too. We will also deal with the critical topic of the detective’s mystique and how to create one.
Legal Issues. Our job as detectives is to help prosecutors bring criminals to justice. Therefore it is imperative that we understand their needs and all the loopholes and pitfalls that can mess up their cases. In addition, we need to understand the legal issues that affect police and private detectives. You wouldn’t want to let a criminal get away with something just because you didn’t understand the law. Come prepared to do a ton of reading and participate in a moot court.
Logic. Evidence is great and all that, but if you don’t know how to build a case from it, it will be wasted. In this rigorous class you will learn about the types of logic and do a whole lot of practicing to make sure that the conclusions you draw from various premises are sound. Some math will be involved, so suck it up.
Observation and Research. Being able to look at a room or scene and repeat back everything that’s in it is not a parlor trick. It’s a critical skill for detectives. In this slightly OCD class, you will learn to note not only what is there, but everything about it, such as its color, size, shape, and difference from its previous state. Field trips make the class even more fun than it already is. We also cover research techniques because you’ll need them in order to learn about all the stuff you’re looking at, such as the difference between a ruby and a garnet and also how to tell a 1965 Ford Mustang from a 1966 model. Stuff like that.
Pathology. We’re sorry if you’re a bit queasy, but you’re going to have to get over it because you will be dealing with dead bodies in your career sooner or later. In this fascinating class, you will learn a lot about anatomy and physiology, and you’ll develop the ability to tell what kind of weapon made which wound. You’ll also learn a lot about bones, which is pretty interesting stuff even if you’re not a dog.
Forensic Photography. Forensic photographs allow investigators to recreate a crime and document evidence. Students will learn how to use every photographic device on earth, including ancient ones and those for photographing the night sky because you never know. You will also learn how to photograph both cooperative and uncooperative suspects and victims, bring out hidden evidence by clever use of lighting and cool features on Photoshop menus, write amazing captions, and master special techniques like taking pictures of trace evidence that’s pretty hard to see, including through microscopes, and recording how big or small something actually is so no one gets confused.
Procedure. Police departments all have procedures they follow to make sure crimes are properly investigated and criminals are brought to justice quickly and cleanly. In this critical class you will learn how to follow police procedure, including how to conduct an interrogation so you get a confession, how to deal with hostage situations, and how to check a book out of the precinct library. You will also learn about recruiting and working with informants, which can be really helpful even if you don’t end up working for a police department.
Profiling. In this psychologically oriented class, you will learn how to use evidence to tell a perpetrator’s personality type. That way you’ll know you’re looking for a certain type of person rather than just any old criminal. Come prepared to use a bunch of jargon, but don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.
Secrets. This is probably the weirdest class we offer here at Legatum. In keeping with the subject matter, we can’t tell you any more about it than the name implies. You’ll just have to show up to find out what it’s about.
Self-defense. Criminals can be really, really mean, so you have to learn to defend yourself against them. This is so much more than just a PE class. You’ll learn all kinds of martial arts, and you’ll get to wear cool pajamas and colored belts. We guarantee that by the time you graduate you’ll be breaking bricks with your hands. We’d also say you’ll be able to tear telephone books except they don’t make those much anymore and they’re really hard to find.
Sketching. When you can’t take a photograph for whatever reason, you need to be able to draw a person, place, or thing. Let’s say you saw someone a while back but you didn’t take a picture of them. You’ll need to draw them from memory. Or let’s say you forgot your camera, which shouldn’t happen but does. Or maybe it broke. In this class, you’ll learn how to make up for all those problems and you’ll have fun too. In fact you may want to display your work at one of our special school art shows. Fun!
Textual Analysis and Language. We don’t teach this class to younger students because you really need the basics first, but once you get this far you will see how useful it can be to be able to identify writers and speakers by the way they use language. You will also be exposed to various languages in this course, including Esperanto and Klingon, which believe it or not, a fair number of people use. Plus we’ll talk about secret languages and codes so you will know how to protect your words and even figure out what others are talking about when they’ve made up words no one else knows.
Toxicology. Because the topic of poisons is so critical to detective work, we offer an entire class on the subject instead of covering it in the crime lab course. There are a lot of poisons out there that few people have heard of, and we want you to know about those as well as the ones everyone knows about, like arsenic. You’ll learn to recognize various poisons by their characteristics and the symptoms they produce. You’ll also learn how to analyze them in the lab and to recognize and gather poisonous plants without killing yourself. This is really useful stuff!
Weapons. As a detective, you will not only face criminals’ weapons, but you will sometimes have to use your own. Students will learn about modern, ancient, and futuristic weapons, which they may enjoy drawing during Sketching. You will learn to use all of these, as well as how to care for them so they work when they’re supposed to and don’t injure anyone they shouldn’t. While weapons can seem glamorous, remember that they are not toys, unless they’re water pistols or BB guns, which we do cover in the class.
August 29, 2015
Why so hard to write a Goodreads review?
Please correct me if I'm wrong, but there's something not quite right about Goodreads's review-writing workflow.
I wanted to review The Reliquary by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child (wonderful book, BTW), but I couldn't figure out how to do that. I looked all over the book's page, clicked around, searched the page for relevant keywords, and still couldn't find any way to do it.
Finally I clicked on the five stars I wanted to give the book, and only then was I prompted to write a review. If I hadn't done that, I never would have been able to do so!
I suspect that if Goodreads made it easy to write a review, they'd have about twenty times as many of them.
Anyone else experienced this problem?
I wanted to review The Reliquary by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child (wonderful book, BTW), but I couldn't figure out how to do that. I looked all over the book's page, clicked around, searched the page for relevant keywords, and still couldn't find any way to do it.
Finally I clicked on the five stars I wanted to give the book, and only then was I prompted to write a review. If I hadn't done that, I never would have been able to do so!
I suspect that if Goodreads made it easy to write a review, they'd have about twenty times as many of them.
Anyone else experienced this problem?
August 20, 2015
If only Sherlock Holmes's great-great-grandson weren't such a dork . . .
Amanda Lester and the Orange Crystal Crisis, the second book in the Amanda Lester, Detective series, will be out on September 15, 2015. In it, Amanda meets a descendant of Sherlock Holmes. Can you guess what happens?
There’s a new student at the Legatum Continuatum School for the Descendants of Famous Detectives and Amanda is supposed to work with him. Scapulus Holmes is a descendant of the great Sherlock and he’s crazy about her. Unfortunately she thinks he’s a loser and would rather die than have anything to do with him.
But when the kids discover a dead body encrusted with strange living crystals, Amanda realizes she needs Holmes’s help. If the crystals fall into the wrong hands they could be used for nefarious purposes, and only he knows how to protect them.
Can the detectives keep the bad guys from learning the crystals' secrets? It would help if they could figure out who the dead body is too. Only if Amanda and Holmes can find a way to work together can they prevent a disaster, and it isn’t looking good.
There’s a new student at the Legatum Continuatum School for the Descendants of Famous Detectives and Amanda is supposed to work with him. Scapulus Holmes is a descendant of the great Sherlock and he’s crazy about her. Unfortunately she thinks he’s a loser and would rather die than have anything to do with him.
But when the kids discover a dead body encrusted with strange living crystals, Amanda realizes she needs Holmes’s help. If the crystals fall into the wrong hands they could be used for nefarious purposes, and only he knows how to protect them.
Can the detectives keep the bad guys from learning the crystals' secrets? It would help if they could figure out who the dead body is too. Only if Amanda and Holmes can find a way to work together can they prevent a disaster, and it isn’t looking good.
July 14, 2015
Why Inspector Lestrade?
I have been asked why I chose to make my protagonist a descendant of Inspector Lestrade. After all, next to Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson, Professor Moriarty, and Irene Adler, Lestrade is pretty bland--which is exactly why I wanted to probe further.
I am very interested in minor characters: the clerk who sells the protagonist a shirt, the hotdog vendor on the street when the protagonist walks by, the deceased aunt who raised the protagonist, etc. Sure, they have bit parts in this particular story, but in others they might be the stars. More than that, their lives might affect this protagonist more than we know. But even if they don't, there's probably something fascinating about them. We have only to look.
That's how I feel about Lestrade, a supporting character no one likes. Sure, he's a foil, but if we look a little further, I think we'll find that he's much more than that. That's why I decided to create a legacy for him--so I could explore the influence of someone who is famous only by association.
I am very interested in minor characters: the clerk who sells the protagonist a shirt, the hotdog vendor on the street when the protagonist walks by, the deceased aunt who raised the protagonist, etc. Sure, they have bit parts in this particular story, but in others they might be the stars. More than that, their lives might affect this protagonist more than we know. But even if they don't, there's probably something fascinating about them. We have only to look.
That's how I feel about Lestrade, a supporting character no one likes. Sure, he's a foil, but if we look a little further, I think we'll find that he's much more than that. That's why I decided to create a legacy for him--so I could explore the influence of someone who is famous only by association.
